'Tis the night before football...

[Mr. Miyagi]

'Tis the night before football
with an HDTV in the house

The Phins will be *****-slapped by Pittsburgh
like any one of Mike Tyson's spouse

[OpIv37]

Batch threw the ball
High and far it soared

Looked like a bad throw
then up jumped Hines Ward.

I can't believe I'm participating in this.

[L.A. Playa]

there once was a man from minnesota,
he liked getting lap dances, i mean playing craps on a boat,

the condom didnt fit so they had to acquit and now
he throws the ball for those damn Dolphins

[Jan Reimers]

The Dolphins were snuggled
All soft in their beds,

While visions of Ben's bad ap
Danced in their heads.

When out on the field
Parker made such a clatter

For 65 yards right past
Thomas and Taylor.

[Jan Reimers]

When what to Nick's wondering
Eyes should appear

But ole' Spitman Cowher
With Batch at his rear.

[Jan Reimers]

A little old QB
So weak armed and sick

That Nick knew in a moment
To call for a blitz.

[Jan Reimers]

Need a little help here, guys.

[OpIv37]

But the Blitz was too slow
and out came the pass

As the receiver ran by,
Thomas fell on his ass.

40 yards later,
six points were scored

late in the 1st quarter
the Fish were behind on the board.

[Mr. Miyagi]

dope!

[dolphan117]

On the bench sat big ben
And sadly he watched
As Dolphins scored touchdown
All over Hines Field

Finaly Ben could take it no more
He jumped and he fled down the tunnel cordor
Out to the parking lot did he flee
All the way to his Honda on which he did leave
Helmetless down the street he did ride
Trying to bury his team wonded pride

Oh, flashes, Oh, horns
Behind him did blow
Racing came Cower in his brand new pinto

Ben are brainless?
Ben are you Dense?
Have you really, at all, no common good sense?
Did hitting that car teach you nothing at all?
Did bashing you're head not make you're heart stall?

The light turned red and both they did stop
Big Ben turned to Cower and opened his mouth
I just couldnt take it!
I just couldn't stay!
Helmets are for sissies!!
Hayabusa away!!!!!

A burnout did Ben on his rocket of speed
Leaving Cower and Pinto stuck at the light
Cower just sat there and shook his big head
Hoping this ride wouldnt leave QB dead

Well do I wish him
Well does he play
But really lets face it
like Bradshaw did say

"Ben, you're starting to make me think you're not that smart"

*Note-I wish him the best, its all in good fun. To bad he cant play tomorrow, I was really looking forward to that.

[Jan Reimers]

Nick said not a word but went straight to his work,
"Throw it to Chambers, Big Daunte, you jerk."

And running a fly pattern straight to the post,
Chris Chambers got leveled by Troy and Ham's ghost.

[Mr. Miyagi]

No receivers are open
as Chambers fell down
All that's left is the dump off
to little Ronnie Brown

Just as Daunte turns his wrist
to flick Ronnie the rock
He feels his shoelaces untied
and trips over his sock

[Mr. Miyagi]

Both hands stretch out to brace
the full impact of the fall
Guess what else comes out
Sure enough, the ball!

"Small-hands" and "Mr. Fumble"
are all of Daunte's nicknames
They all come flooding Saban's memory
right there in the middle of the game.

[Mr. Miyagi]

"Damn it!" yells Nick Saban
as he clinches his teeth
"WTF was I thinking?
I should've gone with Drew Brees!"

The fumble leads to another
Pittsburgh defensive touchdown
Scoreboard shows 38-3
But Cowher still wears a frown

[jamze132]

'Tis the night before football at Ronnie Brown's pad, yet him and Culpepper are gay just a tad.

Together they played, all through the night, Then in came Ricky, high as a kite!

"Hi Ronnie, Hi Dante", the pothead said, "won't you please let me join you in bed?"


So together they played all through the day, Coach Saban was mad, they turned him gay!

****!

[Jan Reimers]

Bill ran to his bus, to his team gave a whistle,
They saluted the Dolphins with one finger fistfuls,

But I heard him say, "Nick, you guys sure will get better,
But Batch was just better than Daunte Culpepper."

I had to mercifully end this thing.

[Michael82]

:rofl:



:squish:

[Mitchy moo]

Mike Mularkey walks out on the field
Hoping for luck what his plays might yield
All the Bills fans take delight
Mike SHeet his pants, after this night

[jamze132]

Roses are red and violets are blue, Miami is a ****in **** **** pooh!!

[Mitchy moo]

He hopeth for chambers, ronnie & daunte to click,
too much to ask for, all of them Pr*cks.

The time is close, oh so close to the game
As MM's toilet is flushing, after all of the pain.