BAM
09-12-2006, 10:34 PM
Not sure if this was posted already but this is freekin' hilarious.
Here are a couple excerpts from the AFC EAST:
<table border="1" width="706"><tbody><tr><td class="style21" height="41">
AFC East
</td> </tr> <tr> <td height="41">
New York Jets http://www.thebrushback.com/jets_45x45.gif
</td> </tr> <tr> <td height="41">Strength:
Eric Mangini may be the youngest head coach in the league, but he’s wise beyond his years. For instance, he managed to rope the Jets into hiring him.
Weakness:
Curtis Martin is finished, and the rest of the backs on the depth chart are a bunch of nobody's from nowheresville. Leon Washington? Is he from the 70’s?
Question Marks:
Patrick Ramsey is once again hoping for a starting job. Maybe he should take the hint and just give up. Backup quarterbacks can get rich, too. I don’t see what the problem is.
Outlook:
The Jets are going to go from bad to worse, so I guess you could say it’s a transition year for them.
</td> </tr> <tr> <td height="41">
Miami Dolphins http://www.thebrushback.com/dolphins_45x45.gif
</td> </tr> <tr> <td height="41">Strength:
They used a first round draft pick on a safety, whose job it is to do that ‘raise the roof’ gesture and push running backs out of bounds. They would have been better off not picking anybody and saving their money.
Weakness:
Cleo Lemon. I don’t know anything about the guy, could be an All-Pro, but I don’t want him on my team.
Question mark:
The Dolphins 6-game win streak at the end of last season convinced a lot of people they’re going to win the Super Bowl this year. But get this: I checked with the Elias Sports Bureau, and it’s possible to win 6 straight at the end of a season and not come back to win the Super Bowl the next year.
Outlook:
The Dolphins are finished, as a franchise and a mammal. Seriously, when was the last time there were any good dolphin movies?
</td> </tr> <tr> <td height="41">
New England Patriots http://www.thebrushback.com/patriots_45x45.gif
</td> </tr> <tr> <td height="41">Strength:
The Patriots made a lot moves in the offseason, like letting the greatest field goal kicker in history go to their main rival and signing Jonathan Sullivan. But will moves alone get them to the Super Bowl?
Weakness:
Troy Brown is one of the league’s worst cornerbacks, yet the Patriots continue to keep him around. Clearly Bill Belichick is losing his edge.
Question Mark:
The big question mark is the running back position, where Corey Dillon is beat-up and Laurence Maroney is from Minnesota. Kevin Faulk is a game-changer, though, when he makes those crucial fumbles.
Outlook:
The Patriots picked up an unknown kicker, Steve Gostkowski, to try and fill the shoes of the legendary Adam Vinatieri. He should know that no matter what he does, everyone in New England is going to hate him. Don’t let that bother you though, Steve. Just go out there and have fun.
</td> </tr> <tr> <td height="41">
Buffalo Bills http://www.thebrushback.com/bills_45x45.gif
</td> </tr> <tr> <td height="41">Strength:
Willis McGahee is coming into this season with – you guessed it – a chip on his shoulder. I can’t keep track of all these chips. Are they any players who aren’t coming into the season with a chip on their shoulder?
Weakness:
The Bills revamped their offensive line with a couple of picks in the 5th and 7th rounds of the draft. They’re going to push some people off the line, alright. Just hope they don’t push back.
Question Mark:
Hey, what’s that in Marv Levy’s mailbox? Why it’s Peerless Price’s 2006 season! Well at least he sprung for postage.
Outlook:
The Bills are hoping to sneak up on the rest of the division, their fans, their front office and their families and finish 7-9.
</td></tr></tbody></table>
http://www.thebrushback.com/afcpreview.htm
.
Here are a couple excerpts from the AFC EAST:
<table border="1" width="706"><tbody><tr><td class="style21" height="41">
AFC East
</td> </tr> <tr> <td height="41">
New York Jets http://www.thebrushback.com/jets_45x45.gif
</td> </tr> <tr> <td height="41">Strength:
Eric Mangini may be the youngest head coach in the league, but he’s wise beyond his years. For instance, he managed to rope the Jets into hiring him.
Weakness:
Curtis Martin is finished, and the rest of the backs on the depth chart are a bunch of nobody's from nowheresville. Leon Washington? Is he from the 70’s?
Question Marks:
Patrick Ramsey is once again hoping for a starting job. Maybe he should take the hint and just give up. Backup quarterbacks can get rich, too. I don’t see what the problem is.
Outlook:
The Jets are going to go from bad to worse, so I guess you could say it’s a transition year for them.
</td> </tr> <tr> <td height="41">
Miami Dolphins http://www.thebrushback.com/dolphins_45x45.gif
</td> </tr> <tr> <td height="41">Strength:
They used a first round draft pick on a safety, whose job it is to do that ‘raise the roof’ gesture and push running backs out of bounds. They would have been better off not picking anybody and saving their money.
Weakness:
Cleo Lemon. I don’t know anything about the guy, could be an All-Pro, but I don’t want him on my team.
Question mark:
The Dolphins 6-game win streak at the end of last season convinced a lot of people they’re going to win the Super Bowl this year. But get this: I checked with the Elias Sports Bureau, and it’s possible to win 6 straight at the end of a season and not come back to win the Super Bowl the next year.
Outlook:
The Dolphins are finished, as a franchise and a mammal. Seriously, when was the last time there were any good dolphin movies?
</td> </tr> <tr> <td height="41">
New England Patriots http://www.thebrushback.com/patriots_45x45.gif
</td> </tr> <tr> <td height="41">Strength:
The Patriots made a lot moves in the offseason, like letting the greatest field goal kicker in history go to their main rival and signing Jonathan Sullivan. But will moves alone get them to the Super Bowl?
Weakness:
Troy Brown is one of the league’s worst cornerbacks, yet the Patriots continue to keep him around. Clearly Bill Belichick is losing his edge.
Question Mark:
The big question mark is the running back position, where Corey Dillon is beat-up and Laurence Maroney is from Minnesota. Kevin Faulk is a game-changer, though, when he makes those crucial fumbles.
Outlook:
The Patriots picked up an unknown kicker, Steve Gostkowski, to try and fill the shoes of the legendary Adam Vinatieri. He should know that no matter what he does, everyone in New England is going to hate him. Don’t let that bother you though, Steve. Just go out there and have fun.
</td> </tr> <tr> <td height="41">
Buffalo Bills http://www.thebrushback.com/bills_45x45.gif
</td> </tr> <tr> <td height="41">Strength:
Willis McGahee is coming into this season with – you guessed it – a chip on his shoulder. I can’t keep track of all these chips. Are they any players who aren’t coming into the season with a chip on their shoulder?
Weakness:
The Bills revamped their offensive line with a couple of picks in the 5th and 7th rounds of the draft. They’re going to push some people off the line, alright. Just hope they don’t push back.
Question Mark:
Hey, what’s that in Marv Levy’s mailbox? Why it’s Peerless Price’s 2006 season! Well at least he sprung for postage.
Outlook:
The Bills are hoping to sneak up on the rest of the division, their fans, their front office and their families and finish 7-9.
</td></tr></tbody></table>
http://www.thebrushback.com/afcpreview.htm
.