FINAL SEMIFINALS: Devin Defeats Forward_Lateral 20-16

[Devin]

Round 2:
SEMIFINALS: Forward_Lateral vs. Devin

It's time for limericks! That's right, not only does it take original insults, but also some skill to win this game.

For the uneducated, a limerick is a five-line poem written with one couplet and one triplet. If a couplet is a two-line rhymed poem, then a triplet would be a three-line rhymed poem. The rhyme pattern is a a b b a with lines 1, 2 and 5 containing 3 beats and rhyming, and lines 3 and 4 having two beats and rhyming.

Ex:
There once was a parson named Bings
Who talked about God and such things.
But his secret desire
Was to join a mixed choir
With nice ladies with whom he'd have flings.

Please note that I did not write the above limerick. It sucks.

Notice lines 1, 2, and 5 rhyme and lines 3 and 4 rhyme. If that's too tough for you, you shouldn't be here, and deserve to lose.

Each contestant will take turns insulting each other. This round will consist of just 3 turns apiece, so make them good.

IMPORTANT: You should write ONLY a 5-line limerick in each post, NOTHING ELSE! Voters should deduct points for any words typed which are not a part of a limerick.

And remember, no editing your post once it's submitted!

Forward_Lateral will go first. (smallest margin of victory in last round)

[The King]

http://www.videovat.com/images/060427-hulk-hogan-andre-the-giant-wrestlemania-3-video-1.jpg
This matchup breaks my heart.

[Forward_Lateral]

There once was a man from nantucket
Who used Devin as his personal jizz-bucket
In his face he would squirt
His manly dessert
When he was done Devin would suck it

[Devin]

Forwards wife was squealin'
around other dudes he was kneelin'
with a loud splatter
he earned thier baby batter
twas dicks he'd rather be feelin'

[Forward_Lateral]

Devin was in disbelief
When he was told he smells like a queef
From spuz, his hair was crisp
And he thalked with an enormouth lithsp
He was the gravy for many men's beef

[Devin]

Much to Adam's dismay
a ton his fat ass did weigh
his ass did jiggle
and his man tits wiggle
But he still couldnt get out the doorway

[Forward_Lateral]

Devin went down to the track
To sniff a horse's ball sack
He said to the jockey
On my face please bukake
He's unfortunately hung like a tic tac

[Devin]

His wife said she was on the rag
and her ass he couldnt tag
but on her knees she bends
Fat Erik and I at both ends
and oh yeah forward_lateral is giant ***!

[Devin]

thank christ this is over.

Voting is up.

[hammerbillsfan]

:whew: Devin

[kinigirly]

jesus its dead even. i'm gonna see who used the best verbs or something...

[Forward_Lateral]

Good match Devin! BTW, my wife has a no return policy, she now belongs to you and Eric! Have fun!

[The King]

I will not vote.

[mybills]

I haven't voted for any of the matchups.

[R. Rich]

They both sucked.

[Earthquake Enyart]

Half of Devin's weren't even real limericks.

FL wins in a landslide.

[Static]

I'm leaning toward F_L he rhymed jockey with bukake

[Forward_Lateral]

I'm leaning toward F_L he rhymed jockey with bukake

I was hoping people would appreciate that!

[Gunzlingr]

I have to go with the Canadian.

[Gunzlingr]

F_L, I broke the tie ;)

[Forward_Lateral]

F_L, I broke the tie ;)

:up:

[L.A. Playa]

F_L was good but basically had the same limerick stated three different ways, while Devin tried different subject matter I go Devin in a tight one

[Gunzlingr]

Half of Devin's weren't even real limericks.

FL wins in a landslide.


Agreed.

[The King]

a tight race. I will only vote if I can force a tie.

[hammerbillsfan]

I took F_L, sorry Devin.

[Devin]

You're a canadian you can't help it :up:

[hammerbillsfan]

:mounty: :canada:

[Mr. Miyagi]

a tight race. I will only vote if I can force a tie.
Now's the time!

[Bling]

Vote Bedard. It's 13-12 Devin

[Devin]

if its a tie ill just give it to F_L good god.

[The King]

my vote happens at 10:24 as long as I am not wasted

[kinigirly]

go banana!

i already voted so other people need to step it up. this is like election 2000 all over again

[The_Philster]

Too close to call....so I tied it up

[kinigirly]

DUN DUN DUN

can we have a quickfire/lightning round or something? if its too close they should both be disqualified

[LtFinFan66]

:popcorn:

TIEBREAKER!! DAS BOOT!!!!

[Forward_Lateral]

Declair it a tie, have a 3-way final between LOG, Devin and I

[Crisis]

I just voted for Devin

16-15 him.

[kinigirly]

have a 3-way between LOG, Devin and I
SCORE! finally something for the ladies :hump:

[R. Rich]

SCORE! finally something for the ladies :hump:

When did we get a supply of those?

[Mad Bomber]

Devin was in disbelief
When he was told he smells like a queef
From spuz, his hair was crisp
And he thalked with an enormouth lithsp
He was the gravy for many men's beef
:rofl:
speak English, dude!

This is like reading Chaucer!

[Mad Bomber]

WTF rhymes with "upper decker"?

"Devin you are such a pecker"?

[DraftBoy]

Wasnt even close Devin without question

[The King]

I got drunk.

[DraftBoy]

I got drunk.


Congratulations??? :idunno: