Bills Confuse Dolphins By Not Using Patriots’ Audibles
ORCHARD PARK, NY-- --The Buffalo Bills routed the Miami Dolphins on Sunday, and credited their victory to solid execution, good game planning, and a little psychological warfare. It seems the Bills offense confused the formidable Dolphins defense by not using the Patriots audibles, which the Dolphins worked so hard to steal before last week’s game.
“Wow they really threw us for a loop,” said a dejected Zach Thomas. “We were so cocky coming into this thing, too. We thought we were going to be in their backfield all day. But then JP Losman got to the line of scrimmage and started rattling off this gibberish. Turns out they’re using a completely different set of audibles than the Patriots. We had no idea what was going on. I guess it’s back to the drawing board now. Does anybody know when we’re playing the Patriots again?”
ARTICLE (http://www.thebrushback.com/)
Mitchy moo
12-20-2006, 07:14 AM
Bills Confuse Dolphins By Not Using Patriots’ Audibles
ORCHARD PARK, NY-- --The Buffalo Bills routed the Miami Dolphins on Sunday, and credited their victory to solid execution, good game planning, and a little psychological warfare. It seems the Bills offense confused the formidable Dolphins defense by not using the Patriots audibles, which the Dolphins worked so hard to steal before last week’s game.
“Wow they really threw us for a loop,” said a dejected Zach Thomas. “We were so cocky coming into this thing, too. We thought we were going to be in their backfield all day. But then JP Losman got to the line of scrimmage and started rattling off this gibberish. Turns out they’re using a completely different set of audibles than the Patriots. We had no idea what was going on. I guess it’s back to the drawing board now. Does anybody know when we’re playing the Patriots again?”
ARTICLE (http://www.thebrushback.com/)
lol.
jamze132
12-20-2006, 08:03 AM
That was pretty good. But i thought Zack Thomas was smarter than that. He IS a perrenial Pro Bowler.
Gunzlingr
12-20-2006, 08:05 AM
:rofl:
<TABLE width=399 border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=shortheadlines>College Hoops Player Kicked Off Team For Having Happy Childhood
</TD></TR><TR><TD class=shortarticles> </TD><TD class=shortarticles>CINCINNATI--Cincinnati Bearcats freshman Antonio Garrett was kicked off the team today by coach Brian Kelly for violating NCAA rules prohibiting players from having happy childhoods. Garrett, who hails from a two-parent household in a quiet, safe neighborhood in Columbus, said he was disappointed by the decision, but also admitted that he “just didn’t fit in.”
“It’s tough to get kicked off the team, but I guess I just didn’t fit in,” said Garrett. “I had such a non-tragic upbringing. My dad’s a real estate appraiser and my mom manages a bank. I’ve never even been shot at. I feel like a circus freak. College basketball is for guys who wear tattoos commemorating lost loved ones, not normal, non-adversity-overcoming guys like me. I haven’t suffered enough to be an NCAA hoops player.”
Garrett also considered trying out for the football team, until he learned that those players are even more ****ed up than basketball players.
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
madness
12-20-2006, 08:05 AM
:meh:
I'll take that as a 1/4 of a smile.
Gunzlingr
12-20-2006, 08:08 AM
ROFL!!!
INDIANAPOLIS--In a stunning coup for ESPN, reclusive wide receiver Chad Johnson granted a rare interview to Suzy Kolber prior to Monday night’s Bengals-Colts game. During the conversation, Kolber challenged Johnson with penetrating questions about his touchdown dances, his nickname, “Ocho Cinco,” and his yellow mohawk.
Johnson was surprisingly revealing with his comments.
“My favorite touchdown celebration was the one where I got on one knee and pretended to propose to that cheerleader,” Johnson confessed. “I really enjoyed that one, and I think the fans got a kick out of it, too. I also liked the Irish step dance I did. It took me a long time to practice that, you know. You wanna hear about my nickname, ‘Ocho Cinco?’ I think you’re going to enjoy this story. ‘Ocho’ means ‘Eight,’ and ‘Cinco’ means ‘Five.’ My number is 85. So that’s where I got that nickname. Whew. Can we take a break for a minute? This is harder than I thought it would be.”
Johnson also revealed that he grew a yellow mohawk earlier in the season as a means to draw attention to himself.
“I just thought that would be a fun way to stand out from the crowd,” Johnson said. “You know, mohawks are kind of outrageous and a yellow one is even more outrageous. So I got a yellow mohawk. Then I shaved it after we lost a couple games. So there you go. America finally knows the inside story behind my crazy mohawk. The veil has been lifted, so to speak. Is there anything else you want to know about me, Suzy?”
Replied Kolber: “Chad, I know this is going to be difficult, but tell me which cornerback in the NFL is the best trash talker…take your time.”
“Whoa, that one threw me for a loop,” Johnson replied. “Um…D’Angelo Hall is pretty good. He gets right in your face and gives you hell. Pacman Jones is another one. And Champ Bailey isn’t too bad, though he’s a bit more understated than the rest of those guys. I guess that’s all of them. Any more questions? Go easy on me, I…I’m not used to opening up like this.”
After the interview, many members of the media wondered how ESPN and Kolber could pull off such a dramatic coup.
“This is like getting a sit down with Bob Dylan or Prince or something,” said Pam Oliver, sideline reporter for Fox. “Chad Johnson never speaks to the media. The nation has been clamoring for years to hear the voice behind the player, behind the touchdown dances, and behind the hair. How much did they pay? What kind of arrangement did they make? I bet it was something big, because to drag this guy out of obscurity and into the limelight takes something special. Maybe they gave him one of those ESPN windbreakers or a subscription to ESPN the Magazine. That would make Kurt Cobain leap out of his grave to chat.”
By Tuesday morning, the interview had appeared on YouTube, and was being devoured by millions of Americans eager for a look at the most mysterious, secretive professional athlete the world has ever known. In addition, the blogosphere was buzzing with analysis and dissection of the ten minute sit-down.
“Seeing Chad Johnson on my television, helmetless, freely discussing his hilarious, fascinating antics on the football field, was surreal,” wrote one blogger. “I shut off all the lights in my house, sent the kids to their room, cranked the volume up and devoured every word he said. D’Angelo Hall is a good trash talker! That’s priceless! The Irish step dance was funny? Amazing! Why can’t other networks and reporters elevate themselves to this kind of investigative journalism? Shame on them for spoon feeding us the same old tired, cliched, camera-hogging athletes. What do they think we are, idiots? Clearly Monday Night Football is the gold standard for television reportage.”
Next week, ESPN announced that Monday Night Football will feature an interview with Terrell Owens, as well as a rare, never-before-seen montage of Brett Favre highlights.
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