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Cntrygal
08-18-2002, 01:47 PM
Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local neighborhood tavern.
Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night), flicked the blinkers on, then off, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left. At last he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the road.

The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station this breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the man, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

ArcticWildMan
08-18-2002, 01:54 PM
:fabulous:

The_Philster
08-18-2002, 01:57 PM
I'm thinking Cntry is rarely, if ever, the designated decoy. ;)

:drinker:

Cntrygal
08-18-2002, 02:00 PM
Originally posted by The_Philster
I'm thinking Cntry is rarely, if ever, the designated decoy. ;)

:drinker:

:wail:
you're right... I'm usually the designated driver for a bunch of drunks!!! :wail:

StillLurkin
08-18-2002, 02:04 PM
thats a GREAT idea lol

SABURZFAN
08-18-2002, 02:04 PM
Originally posted by Cntrygal
Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local neighborhood tavern.
Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night), flicked the blinkers on, then off, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left. At last he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the road.

The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station this breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the man, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."




:lol: that's funny.

Sabre Ally
08-18-2002, 03:06 PM
:rofl:

The_Philster
08-18-2002, 03:50 PM
Originally posted by Cntrygal


:wail:
you're right... I'm usually the designated driver for a bunch of drunks!!! :wail:

That's funny...the way you always talk in the :shout: box, I'd have pegged you for the designated drunk for a bunch of drivers. :lol:

shelby
08-18-2002, 03:55 PM
Cntry is a responsible individual...don't let the :boozer: fool you...

The_Philster
08-18-2002, 04:07 PM
Originally posted by shelby
Cntry is a responsible individual...don't let the :boozer: fool you...

Sure she is ;)


:jk:

mybills
08-18-2002, 07:01 PM
That's one of my all time old favorites besides this one...and I'm part Irish!

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints.

The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint.

The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.

The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"

Valerie
08-18-2002, 07:06 PM
:lol: Those jokes are great, ladies. :)

Ebenezer
08-19-2002, 11:23 AM
Hilarious...brightened my day...for 8 seconds.

ticatfan
08-19-2002, 11:53 AM
That one about the dd was invented by a valley boy.