Wine Glasses, Burnt-Down Candles, Strewn Rose Petals...

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • BAM
    Registered User
    • Sep 2003
    • 33135

    Wine Glasses, Burnt-Down Candles, Strewn Rose Petals...

    Wine Glasses, Burnt-Down Candles, Strewn Rose Petals Suggest Dolphins Courting Pete Carroll

    MIAMI—Although Dolphins officials are being coy—some say almost coquettish—about whether or not they met with Pete Carroll concerning their open coaching position, the remnants of a tray of chocolate-dipped strawberries, several half-melted floating candles, and 54 near-empty wine glasses in the Dolphin Stadium players' lounge suggest the organization is seriously wooing the USC head coach.

    "Miami planned this whole elaborate night to show Pete that they were genuinely interested in him: the stadium lights were dimmed, soft Al Green music was piping out of the PA system, and there was a trail of unwound athletic tape, hastily discarded football jerseys, and kicked-off cleats leading all the way to the Dolphins' team bedroom," ESPN analyst Len Pasquarelli said. "If everything goes smoothly, this deal should be done by the end of this upcoming lost weekend." Some eyewitnesses, however, claim they saw an unshaven, visibly upset Carroll stomp his way to a waiting taxi outside Dolphin Stadium at 4 a.m. after Bill Cowher allegedly showed up to thank the Dolphins for the box of chocolates they sent him.


    The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America's finest news source.

  • Buckets
    Registered User
    • Jun 2003
    • 804

    #2
    Re: Wine Glasses, Burnt-Down Candles, Strewn Rose Petals...

    Comment

    • mybills
      81 st zoner
      • Jul 2002
      • 61717

      #3
      Re: Wine Glasses, Burnt-Down Candles, Strewn Rose Petals...

      Good post, BAM!
      I didn't come here to fight, I hate fighting. Life is way too short to spend it on fighting! Go fight with yourself, one of you will eventually win!

      Comment

      • Historian
        2020-2023 AFC East Champions!
        • Dec 2002
        • 61793

        #4
        Re: Wine Glasses, Burnt-Down Candles, Strewn Rose Petals...

        They should have just hired him a gay prostitute...

        Comment

        Working...
        X