Oaf
09-09-2007, 10:37 PM
I literally had dreams that plagued my sleep all week prior to this game. In each dream, I would be awaiting the game Sunday morning and some circumstance, on Friday night it was a tornado, would prevent me from watching the game. And the after the tornado wrecked my place, I was about to go to the bar and watch but my sister came up to me and revealed the score. That is when I woke up in a cold sweat.
The last two days where it finally had hit me that the Bills were to play in 48 hours felt like an offseason in itself. Saturday afternoon, I sat in the dorm looking at a wall just thinking about watching Bills football again after 8 months, unable to do anything else.
When the latest heartbreak occured this afternoon, there was no rage within me as there had been in previous heartbreakers the year before. I kept stating in my mind, "Figures they'd find a way to blow it." I calmly paid my check and exited the bar without a word or tip. Unfortunately this accepting reaction was just as depressing as the usual furious reaction.
Depression hit me as I sat with my head in my hands, Losman jersey on back, on the bus ride back to the dorms. I started delving into one of my more philosophical moods.
Did I do something to deserve this? Why am I a fan of the Bills? Why is this such an addiction for me? Is it worth it? What would life be like without the Bills? I am sorry to say this but I wondered if I needed to barter with God himself to get a playoff bound Bills.
When I got back to my room, I lasted about 9 minutes before I threw myself back in the fray, this time in the virtual world of Madden 2008. In my franchise, I had been kicking ass rolling to a 2-1 record and hosting the Jets week 4. Because I was in such a morbid mood, and to accurately reflect the Bills, I decided to turn the difficulty up to All-Madden to I would DEFINITELY get blown out and my record would plummet just like the real Bills.
So I load into the game and absolutely smash the Jets 45-6. I start to feel better about myself. Then I look at the settings again and I see I accidently just switched it to Pro difficulty. I switch the game off. I eat. Then I check this board. Then I begin to write the longest post I've written here. (sorry)
However, I have come to a positive conclusion: the greater the pain we go though, the greater the glory we get when we finally hit our goal, someday, some year. It's one thing to be a Colts or Pats fan and consider an 11-5 record and a conference title loss a waste of a season and take winning for granted, and to be a Bills fan, passionate about every 5 yard run and 15 yard pass we get.
Living here in Chicago, I got to experience what it was like to have the city go to the Super Bowl. And when they lost, there was not much heartache, no citywide meltdown. The reactions were disappointing, but in the, "meh, who's starting for the Cubs this year?" kind of way. I know in a great town like Buffalo, a SB loss today would lead to riots and likely higher accidents, crime, and unemployment for the month. And I take ****ing pride in that. God knows what would happen if we somehow won the Big Game.
Sooner or later, likely later, we will win. and win a damn lot. And it'll be exponentially better than what those Pats/Colts fans get out of their teams, I can guarentee that. Sorry for the long ass thread, but I needed to get it off my chest, and hopefully you can find some solace in it.
GO. ****in. Bills.
The last two days where it finally had hit me that the Bills were to play in 48 hours felt like an offseason in itself. Saturday afternoon, I sat in the dorm looking at a wall just thinking about watching Bills football again after 8 months, unable to do anything else.
When the latest heartbreak occured this afternoon, there was no rage within me as there had been in previous heartbreakers the year before. I kept stating in my mind, "Figures they'd find a way to blow it." I calmly paid my check and exited the bar without a word or tip. Unfortunately this accepting reaction was just as depressing as the usual furious reaction.
Depression hit me as I sat with my head in my hands, Losman jersey on back, on the bus ride back to the dorms. I started delving into one of my more philosophical moods.
Did I do something to deserve this? Why am I a fan of the Bills? Why is this such an addiction for me? Is it worth it? What would life be like without the Bills? I am sorry to say this but I wondered if I needed to barter with God himself to get a playoff bound Bills.
When I got back to my room, I lasted about 9 minutes before I threw myself back in the fray, this time in the virtual world of Madden 2008. In my franchise, I had been kicking ass rolling to a 2-1 record and hosting the Jets week 4. Because I was in such a morbid mood, and to accurately reflect the Bills, I decided to turn the difficulty up to All-Madden to I would DEFINITELY get blown out and my record would plummet just like the real Bills.
So I load into the game and absolutely smash the Jets 45-6. I start to feel better about myself. Then I look at the settings again and I see I accidently just switched it to Pro difficulty. I switch the game off. I eat. Then I check this board. Then I begin to write the longest post I've written here. (sorry)
However, I have come to a positive conclusion: the greater the pain we go though, the greater the glory we get when we finally hit our goal, someday, some year. It's one thing to be a Colts or Pats fan and consider an 11-5 record and a conference title loss a waste of a season and take winning for granted, and to be a Bills fan, passionate about every 5 yard run and 15 yard pass we get.
Living here in Chicago, I got to experience what it was like to have the city go to the Super Bowl. And when they lost, there was not much heartache, no citywide meltdown. The reactions were disappointing, but in the, "meh, who's starting for the Cubs this year?" kind of way. I know in a great town like Buffalo, a SB loss today would lead to riots and likely higher accidents, crime, and unemployment for the month. And I take ****ing pride in that. God knows what would happen if we somehow won the Big Game.
Sooner or later, likely later, we will win. and win a damn lot. And it'll be exponentially better than what those Pats/Colts fans get out of their teams, I can guarentee that. Sorry for the long ass thread, but I needed to get it off my chest, and hopefully you can find some solace in it.
GO. ****in. Bills.