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What the hell...I can throw darts just like anybody else.
1. John McLean, Defense-That's right...no position...the entire defense. Opposing offenses will be too busy pissing their pants when they see Big John lined up across from them. Whitner, Stroud, Poz and Co. will be nice depth IF McLean ever decides to come off of the field and it'll take all eleven to replace him anyway.
2. Superman, WR-Had an impressive combine with a forty time of 0.00 flat and benched 425 pounds, well, probably for eternity if the coaches wouldn't have stopped him. Nice compliment to Evans, and even if JP plays there is NO WAY IN HELL he can under-, over-, mis-throw to Mr Kent...he'll snag everything.
3. Moses, Center-Jesus obviously already works with the Bills medical staff, so he's ineligible for the active roster. Walks softly but carries a big stick, with a little bit of that 'wrath of the Lord' mean streak on Sundays. Immediate replacement for Melvin Fowler. The tables will be turned on opposing defenses this year, and we'll see who parts like the Red Sea now, *****es.
4a. Karl Rove, Cornerback-Attitude is a real downside, but if you want something covered (up) he's the man for the job.
4b. Wolverine, Defensive end-fast upfield, nasty as hell, lethal hand work, and Ralph can save money on uniforms since the dude is already blue.
5. Devin's Boyfriend, Tight End-I know, there are others available who might be ranked higher, but every draft has at least one pick that elicits one big 'WTF? Who the hell is that?' from the fanbase.
6. Pee Wee Herman, Quarterback-Russ Brandon wanted Chuck Norris here, but John McLean didn't want to be on the same team as that pussy. Brandon may be 'new', but he isn't stupid.
7a. Paris Hilton, Defensive tackle-not the prototype build for the position, but more than willing to take on two, three offensive lineman at a time right off the snatch....errr, I mean snap.
7b. Dudley Dooright, LB-Nothing wrong with wasting a late-rounder to try and suck up to the potential customers north of the border. Hey, after all...it is a business.
7c. Jessica Alba, Special Teams-Yeah, she probably is more suited as an UDFA and most likely won't make the final roster but she is definitely worth locking up just for the team morale aspect. She'll be gone after training camp, but that's long enough to have a positive effect on the team, especially guys fighting for a job. Who wouldn't want to bust their ass so they can stick around long enough to at least look forward to taking a shower with her for six weeks this summer?
1. John McLean, Defense-That's right...no position...the entire defense. Opposing offenses will be too busy pissing their pants when they see Big John lined up across from them. Whitner, Stroud, Poz and Co. will be nice depth IF McLean ever decides to come off of the field and it'll take all eleven to replace him anyway.
2. Superman, WR-Had an impressive combine with a forty time of 0.00 flat and benched 425 pounds, well, probably for eternity if the coaches wouldn't have stopped him. Nice compliment to Evans, and even if JP plays there is NO WAY IN HELL he can under-, over-, mis-throw to Mr Kent...he'll snag everything.
3. Moses, Center-Jesus obviously already works with the Bills medical staff, so he's ineligible for the active roster. Walks softly but carries a big stick, with a little bit of that 'wrath of the Lord' mean streak on Sundays. Immediate replacement for Melvin Fowler. The tables will be turned on opposing defenses this year, and we'll see who parts like the Red Sea now, *****es.
4a. Karl Rove, Cornerback-Attitude is a real downside, but if you want something covered (up) he's the man for the job.
4b. Wolverine, Defensive end-fast upfield, nasty as hell, lethal hand work, and Ralph can save money on uniforms since the dude is already blue.
5. Devin's Boyfriend, Tight End-I know, there are others available who might be ranked higher, but every draft has at least one pick that elicits one big 'WTF? Who the hell is that?' from the fanbase.
6. Pee Wee Herman, Quarterback-Russ Brandon wanted Chuck Norris here, but John McLean didn't want to be on the same team as that pussy. Brandon may be 'new', but he isn't stupid.
7a. Paris Hilton, Defensive tackle-not the prototype build for the position, but more than willing to take on two, three offensive lineman at a time right off the snatch....errr, I mean snap.
7b. Dudley Dooright, LB-Nothing wrong with wasting a late-rounder to try and suck up to the potential customers north of the border. Hey, after all...it is a business.
7c. Jessica Alba, Special Teams-Yeah, she probably is more suited as an UDFA and most likely won't make the final roster but she is definitely worth locking up just for the team morale aspect. She'll be gone after training camp, but that's long enough to have a positive effect on the team, especially guys fighting for a job. Who wouldn't want to bust their ass so they can stick around long enough to at least look forward to taking a shower with her for six weeks this summer?
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