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patmoran2006
06-01-2008, 05:58 PM
Just caught all the local newscasts here in Buffalo. The top story on all three stations is the alleged Lynch hit and run incidient.

Here is what is CONFIRMED so far.

* The SUV that struck the pedestrian is Lynch's 2008 Porsche. This is now confirmed.

* THe SUV is in the Police Impound on Seneca Street; near where the incident occured.

* There was a police surveliance video camera set up on that intersection (Delaware and Chippewa) and the camera was active at the time of the incident. Police haven't issued a comment on it.

* THere is at least one civilian who claims to have seen the whole thing and said the pedestrian had the right of way.

* The police are looking too talk to Lynch. No confirmation on if they have as of yet.

* The lady who was hit was treated and released from the hospital and is doing OK.

* Lynch's lawyer is out of town and will address this when he returns. NO time was given on when that will be.


So from the looks of it (opinion here), one of three things happened.
1- Lynch drove the SUV that struck the woman and left.
2- Lynch was a passenger in his vehicle that struck a lady and someone else was driving and left.
3- Lynch wasn't there and someone else drove the car.

Regardless of anything, confirmation that it was his SUV is VERY bad news for him. Depending on the severity of the crime, and I'm no criminal expert, but this could be very bad news to the Bills and to Lynch in particular.

In my personal opinion, if it turns out he was driving the car or even if the car that hit a lady and run; I hope he gets the maximum penalty by law. I am a big Lynch fan; but he's not above any of us. To hit a civilian with your car and not then speed away not knowing how serious the injury is; is ****ing apalling and dispicible.

patmoran2006
06-01-2008, 05:59 PM
Here is one of the updated links, from WIVB TV

YardRat
06-01-2008, 06:07 PM
So from the looks of it (opinion here), one of three things happened.
1- Lynch drove the SUV that struck the woman and left.
2- Lynch was a passenger in his vehicle that struck a lady and someone else was driving and left.
3- Lynch wasn't there and someone else drove the car.


No offense, and thanks for the update, but that doesn't narrow down the possibilities any more than when it initially happened.

patmoran2006
06-01-2008, 06:14 PM
I didnt hear in the original report that his car was impounded. But you're mostly right.

Also didnt know that in all probability this has been captured on video, though police wont release info Im sure until after they've spoken with him.

If he was directly involved, I dont think there's any getting out of it now.

YardRat
06-01-2008, 06:18 PM
Nor should he....If he was involved.

hammerbillsfan
06-01-2008, 06:23 PM
http://www.wivb.com/global/story.asp?s=8407580

Confused
06-01-2008, 06:40 PM
If convicted how many games will he miss?

Cntrygal
06-01-2008, 06:44 PM
Let's get him charged before we get him convicted and we start tallying up the losses due to his being in jail.

:peace:

Luisito23
06-01-2008, 06:46 PM
If convicted how many games will he miss?


He would probably miss the entire season....But like I said before, I highly doubt that anything at all happens to him, because if it did he would be in police custody as we speak.....

patmoran2006
06-01-2008, 06:54 PM
He would probably miss the entire season....But like I said before, I highly doubt that anything at all happens to him, because if it did he would be in police custody as we speak.....
Not accurate at all. Investigations often take more than 18 hours before someone is taking into custody.

Dr. Lecter
06-01-2008, 06:55 PM
What is the usual penalty for a crime like this?

It is rare for a first time offender to get the max.

The problem is, if he was driving, it is likely he was drinking.

ZacGriffi~82
06-01-2008, 06:57 PM
it would only be a misdemeanor.

TacklingDummy
06-01-2008, 06:57 PM
Nice Character.

Too bad Peterson didn't slip to the Bills.

Dr. Lecter
06-01-2008, 06:59 PM
Nice Character.

Too bad Peterson didn't slip to the Bills.

I assume you were there and you are a witness.

patmoran2006
06-01-2008, 07:01 PM
The penalty by law for a first hit and run offense where personal injury occurs is up to a year in jail; and a monetary fine (I think a grand or something like that)

LtFinFan66
06-01-2008, 07:02 PM
it would only be a misdemeanor.Hit and run? A misdemeanor??

patmoran2006
06-01-2008, 07:08 PM
ACtually yes.. Class A misdemeanor punishable with up to a year in jail and a fine of $500 to $1,000

But what will hurt more than criminal penalties is a potential suspension without pay by the league, which will cost far more than a legal fine... And that's not to mention the damage to his reputation and in turn, endorsement opportunities. What companies wary of image are going to hire someone who's convicted of a hit and run to endorse their product?

YardRat
06-01-2008, 07:10 PM
I don't think anybody will see jail time from this incident, whether it's Lynch or someone else driving his wheels. The injuries, if any at all, are too minor.

TacklingDummy
06-01-2008, 07:11 PM
I don't think anybody will see jail time from this incident, whether it's Lynch or someone else driving his wheels. The injuries, if any at all, are too minor.

Unless they lie when questioned.

shelby
06-01-2008, 07:18 PM
Thank you for the update.

Confused
06-01-2008, 07:25 PM
No charges, settled out of court, would be best I see this turning out.

patmoran2006
06-01-2008, 07:28 PM
Settled out of court?

its not just a civil issue, its a LEGAL issue.

Someone broke the law.

Pinkerton Security
06-01-2008, 07:35 PM
Settled out of court?

its not just a civil issue, its a LEGAL issue.

Someone broke the law.

ray lewis copped out of a murder case, got a misdemeanor, and did not miss a single game. theres a decent chance he had something to do with 2 murders.

i understand Goodel is more strict and is cracking down, but lets not get our bollocks in a twist here. he will pay, im sure.

Dr. Lecter
06-01-2008, 07:37 PM
Settled out of court?

its not just a civil issue, its a LEGAL issue.

Someone broke the law.

Yes, we know.

IF he was driving, the most likely outcome is a plea deal, no jail, a big fine, community service and a suspension from the NFL, likely 2 games or so.

Tatonka
06-01-2008, 07:39 PM
The penalty by law for a first hit and run offense where personal injury occurs is up to a year in jail; and a monetary fine (I think a grand or something like that)

link?

BlackMetalNinja
06-01-2008, 07:43 PM
Now it might be just me... but if they have his car impounded, don't you think the police would have spoken to him already if he was anywhere around?

ZacGriffi~82
06-01-2008, 07:46 PM
ACtually yes.. Class A misdemeanor punishable with up to a year in jail and a fine of $500 to $1,000

But what will hurt more than criminal penalties is a potential suspension without pay by the league, which will cost far more than a legal fine... And that's not to mention the damage to his reputation and in turn, endorsement opportunities. What companies wary of image are going to hire someone who's convicted of a hit and run to endorse their product?

It's basically the same punishment as a DUI. I don't see anyone freaking out about what Parrish is going to get...

MikeInRoch
06-01-2008, 07:51 PM
Well, partly that might be because Lynch is SLIGHTLY more important...

ZacGriffi~82
06-01-2008, 07:54 PM
Well, partly that might be because Lynch is SLIGHTLY more important...

So the better players get stiffer penalties?

Confused
06-01-2008, 07:57 PM
Why doesnt this site have all the articles on this topic available like twobillsdrive.com has?

Having read actual articles and not just forum speculation and fear mongering, I doubt this will go very far.

next crisis please.

VeggieMan14
06-01-2008, 08:00 PM
If OJ didnt do it neither did Marshawn as far as im concerned. i wouldnt worry about it

Confused
06-01-2008, 08:02 PM
cmon veggie. OJ did the "icky shuffle" and spike the knife in the front yard!!!!!!!

Cntrygal
06-01-2008, 08:06 PM
Why doesnt this site have all the articles on this topic available like twobillsdrive.com has?

Having read actual articles and not just forum speculation and fear mongering, I doubt this will go very far.

next crisis please.


It's possible that if you checked out the front page once in awhile, you could read headlines.

BILLSZONE.COM
(http://billszone.com)

VeggieMan14
06-01-2008, 08:07 PM
cmon veggie. OJ did the "icky shuffle" and spike the knife in the front yard!!!!!!! but the question is did they get him???? and the answer to that is no so im not gonna worry bout it til the lady who got run over sings

Confused
06-01-2008, 08:30 PM
cochran. The infamous chewbacca defense.

BlackMetalNinja
06-01-2008, 08:35 PM
cochran. The infamous chewbacca defense.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chewbacca). Chewbacca is a Wookiee (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wookiee) from the planet Kashyyyk (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kashyyyk). But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forest_moon_of_Endor). Now think about it; that does not make sense! […] Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ewok)? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me. I'm a lawyer defending a major record company, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberatin' and conjugatin' the Emancipation Proclamation (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emancipation_Proclamation), [approaches and softens] does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acquittal)! The defense rests.

DrGraves
06-01-2008, 08:39 PM
well it was a good season, lets start rebuilding, and hope we get a good running back in the draft next year.

Goobylal
06-01-2008, 08:39 PM
Unless they lie when questioned.
Unless who lies? The victim, who will likely be looking for a big payday? Wrong. But she was evaluated at a hospital, and since there has been no report that she suffered any serious injury, that's all the evidence anyone needs. So at worst, this is a misdemeanor for Marshawn, assuming he was the driver, which we don't know.

As was mentioned, Roscoe had a DUI which is also a misdemeanor, and so far the Commish has done nothing. Likely the same happens for Marshawn.

Romes
06-01-2008, 08:45 PM
...this gives a whole new meaning to Beastmode.

hammerbillsfan
06-01-2008, 08:46 PM
GTA: Beastmode

Confused
06-01-2008, 08:46 PM
emancipation proclamation? can you please elaborate? I dont listen to hip-hop

feelthepain
06-01-2008, 09:17 PM
it would only be a misdemeanor.

Great laws in NYS, you can steal a pack of gum or hit someone with your car...it's all the same. Man that's priceless. What do they do to you if you murder someone, tickle you till you say uncle?

im4bflo
06-01-2008, 09:20 PM
Great laws in NYS, you can steal a pack of gum or hit someone with your car...it's all the same. Man that's priceless. What do they do to you if you murder someone, tickle you till you say uncle?

they let you squish a fish :snicker2:
OR you have to prance on 'Dancing with the Stars' :lmao:

Harvey Johnson
06-01-2008, 09:23 PM
I think the lady should fess up and say it was all her fault.

OpIv37
06-01-2008, 09:23 PM
Great laws in NYS, you can steal a pack of gum or hit someone with your car...it's all the same. Man that's priceless. What do they do to you if you murder someone, tickle you till you say uncle?

in VA, if you drive over 80 they charge you with reckless driving.

Recently, a cop was speeding to respond to a call without her lights on, hit another car and killed the driver. She was charged with... reckless driving.

Killing someone or driving 80- they're equally bad in the laws of the Commonwealth.

Dr. Lecter
06-01-2008, 09:25 PM
in VA, if you drive over 80 they charge you with reckless driving.

Recently, a cop was speeding to respond to a call without her lights on, hit another car and killed the driver. She was charged with... reckless driving.

Killing someone or driving 80- they're equally bad in the laws of the Commonwealth.

Considering brothers marry sisters in some parts of VA, it is not surprising.

Goobylal
06-01-2008, 09:32 PM
in VA, if you drive over 80 they charge you with reckless driving.

Recently, a cop was speeding to respond to a call without her lights on, hit another car and killed the driver. She was charged with... reckless driving.

Killing someone or driving 80- they're equally bad in the laws of the Commonwealth.
Obviously the cop got her charges reduced, just like Marshawn would if he is found to be the driver. With certain positions come power.

TacklingDummy
06-01-2008, 09:44 PM
Unless who lies? The victim, who will likely be looking for a big payday? Wrong.

Who ever was driving the car.

theanswer74
06-01-2008, 10:01 PM
Doesnt a player have to be a multiple offender to get suspended?

Goobylal
06-01-2008, 10:02 PM
Who ever was driving the car.
It would be hard to prove who was driving the car without actual evidence or an eyewitness (no one has come forward yet). There was a camera at the intersection, but you likely can't see who was driving. Especially if the car had tinted windows.

TacklingDummy
06-01-2008, 10:05 PM
It would be hard to prove who was driving the car without actual evidence or an eyewitness (no one has come forward yet). There was a camera at the intersection, but you likely can't see who was driving. Especially if the car had tinted windows.

That may be true. My point is why lie? It would only get them in more trouble if the truth is found out.

The penalty is not big enough to lie over.

Goobylal
06-01-2008, 10:17 PM
That may be true. My point is why lie? It would only get them in more trouble if the truth is found out.

The penalty is not big enough to lie over.
You lie if you think that no one has evidence on you. And despite what people may claim while wholly removed from the situation, most would flee the scene if they were driving drunk.

DraftBoy
06-01-2008, 10:59 PM
Lets all slow down for a minute here;
-First off we have to find out if Lynch even did this, if not then the only thing he'd be likely liable for a civil suit of some sort and no criminal charges.

-However if he was driving and the DA is trying to make a name for himself, he can be charged with a multitude of misdemeanors; Hit and Run Class A, Fleeing the Scene of an Accident, Reckless Driving, (If Alcohol or a Drug was involved DUI or DWI), and there are a few others a real ballsy prosecutor could go for if he's looking to make a name for himself. So we aren't only looking at a Hit and Run charge as possible here.

PECKERWOOD
06-01-2008, 11:05 PM
Amazing how athletes could get away with murder... All the talk about Ray Lewis and other over privelaged athletes makes me sick. I hope Lynch didn't do this, but if he did I hope he gets punished just like I would.

Ebenezer
06-01-2008, 11:27 PM
OMG...some people just have to get a grip.

If ML was Joe Sputnik from Depew Patmoran wouldn't even have it register on his radar. There is no way to prove he was driving. There is no way to prove he was drinking. There is no way to prove he saw the woman. There is no way to prove he was aware that she was hit. There is no way to prove that the driver knew she was down. She is uninjured.

It made news because it was ML. Regardless ML or Joe Sputnik this case will be closed rather quickly and we will all root for ML in game 1 against Seattle.

Ebenezer
06-01-2008, 11:28 PM
Amazing how athletes could get away with murder... All the talk about Ray Lewis and other over privelaged athletes makes me sick. I hope Lynch didn't do this, but if he did I hope he gets punished just like I would.
your punishment would be very lenient...and you wouldn't be suspended from your job if you were convicted.

LtFinFan66
06-01-2008, 11:30 PM
Damn, I am gonna start running over people I don't like:rolleyes:

feelthepain
06-01-2008, 11:36 PM
Considering brothers marry sisters in some parts of VA, it is not surprising.
Gloucester point, home of the "Guinea", pronounced "Ginny". A group of inbreads just across the Bridge from Yorktown VA.

Ebenezer
06-01-2008, 11:42 PM
Damn, I am gonna start running over people I don't like:rolleyes:
now that would fall into a different catagory...that would include malice and that would get you into a heap of trouble.

LtFinFan66
06-01-2008, 11:46 PM
They would have to prove it....right??

LtFinFan66
06-01-2008, 11:47 PM
Look both ways twice before stepping into the street Frank.....and then check the sidewalk:snicker:








I kid, I kid!

Marvelous
06-01-2008, 11:47 PM
Well if it wasn't ML, then wtf do these kids loan oiut their cars to their homeys for?
-I don't loan out my vehicles to anyone but family..Is this a ghetto superstar thing? If so i'm gonna be pissed because i overcame a big sterotyping with ML & decided not to judge a book by it's cover...
--Our season is dependant on ML. So this is very serious. Goddell will be all over a hit & run. 4 game MINIMUM.

Ebenezer
06-01-2008, 11:53 PM
They would have to prove it....right??
as compared to a total stranger - it would take far less to prove you knew somebody and had a dislike for them...especially if there were problems in the past

Michael82
06-02-2008, 12:45 AM
Oh God! Does anyone else have a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach? Not Lynch! ANYBODY but Lynch..... :( :ill:

:puke:

THATHURMANATOR
06-02-2008, 01:04 AM
I am not worried at all

jamze132
06-02-2008, 03:25 AM
Rumor has it, James Hardy was the passenger and when he kept missing her with his gat, Marshawn went into "beastmode" and eh... took care of things...

Just kidding guys... but I couldn't resist.

I seriously hope Lynch was not anywhere near his car that night... He's one of the few guys we actually CAN realy on for 60 minutes a week.

SabreEleven
06-02-2008, 03:40 AM
OMG...some people just have to get a grip.

If ML was Joe Sputnik from Depew Patmoran wouldn't even have it register on his radar. There is no way to prove he was driving. There is no way to prove he was drinking. There is no way to prove he saw the woman. There is no way to prove he was aware that she was hit. There is no way to prove that the driver knew she was down. She is uninjured.

It made news because it was ML. Regardless ML or Joe Sputnik this case will be closed rather quickly and we will all root for ML in game 1 against Seattle.

Hey I'm from Depew and Joe Sputnik was a great player until he blew out his knee against Lancaster in 1987. :mad: :snicker:

Ebenezer
06-02-2008, 03:50 AM
Hey I'm from Depew and Joe Sputnik was a great player until he blew out his knee against Lancaster in 1987. :mad: :snicker:
:chuckle:

YardRat
06-02-2008, 05:34 AM
Still nothing new on the AM news.

No charges have been filed, Lynch's lawyer still out of town, the shoe-shiner that witnessed the event stated the car 'booked' away from the scene.

Jan Reimers
06-02-2008, 05:42 AM
We can speculate all we want, and wring our hands and gnash our teeth, but we probably should wait until all of the the facts come out before we go into Chicken Little mode.

But I am concerned.

YardRat
06-02-2008, 06:00 AM
Hope his lawyer can find the time to make it into town today.

BlackMetalNinja
06-02-2008, 07:08 AM
Oh God! Does anyone else have a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach? Not Lynch! ANYBODY but Lynch..... :( :ill:

:puke:

http://www.expertees.com/store/catalog/images/drama-queen-t-shirt.jpg

don137
06-02-2008, 07:12 AM
Hopefully some news will come out soon. It does not sound too promising. One would think the longer this drags on without any official word the better chance that Lynch was involved in some way. If he let the vehicle out to a friend I tend to think the Bills would of said something stating he was not invloved.

Historian
06-02-2008, 07:14 AM
Hey I'm from Depew and Joe Sputnik was a great player until he blew out his knee against Lancaster in 1987. :mad: :snicker:

LOL...Small world isn't it?

SabreEleven
06-02-2008, 07:16 AM
LOL...Small world isn't it?

Did you go to DHS? but you probably graduated in 1973 or something like that.

DraftBoy
06-02-2008, 08:03 AM
OMG...some people just have to get a grip.

If ML was Joe Sputnik from Depew Patmoran wouldn't even have it register on his radar. There is no way to prove he was driving. There is no way to prove he was drinking. There is no way to prove he saw the woman. There is no way to prove he was aware that she was hit. There is no way to prove that the driver knew she was down. She is uninjured.

It made news because it was ML. Regardless ML or Joe Sputnik this case will be closed rather quickly and we will all root for ML in game 1 against Seattle.

Let's break this down one at a time;
-No way to prove he was driving
Well yes and no, they have somebody who saw the incident if he ID's Lynch he's done for, if they test the car for fingerprints and only find Lynch's, it would be hard to explain otherwise. Granted I imagine it would be hard to lift a fingerprint off the steering wheel of a car.

-No way to prove he was drinking
This would be difficult to prove and the only way to do it would be to have somebody having physically seen him doing it.

-No way to prove he saw the woman
That's not a defense, you don't get out of a crime because you are an idiot

-No way to prove he knew he hit her and that the driver knew she was down
Again idiocy is not a defense

-Uninjured
That does not change that fact that its still a hit and run accident

Ill be sure though that if you ever get hit by a car though that you want that driver held up to those same standards, where he/she could simply say: "I didnt see you and didnt even know I hit anything" and you should be ok with that excuse and not want charges pressed.

Pinkerton Security
06-02-2008, 08:24 AM
i have a stupid question that may have been answered but i didnt feel like going through all the pages....did this woman get hurt, at all?? i know she is ok, but did she even get a scratch or is it just some snobby b**** making a bug fuss about a stupid driver who didnt yield the right of way?

blackonyx89
06-02-2008, 08:27 AM
If he did not hit , then you must acquit!!!<!-- / message -->

Dr. Lecter
06-02-2008, 08:28 AM
i have a stupid question that may have been answered but i didnt feel like going through all the pages....did this woman get hurt, at all?? i know she is ok, but did she even get a scratch or is it just some snobby b**** making a bug fuss about a stupid driver who didnt yield the right of way?

She was down for about 15 minutes, but got up and walked to the ambulance under her own power and appears to be OK.

DraftBoy
06-02-2008, 08:31 AM
She was down for about 15 minutes, but got up and walked to the ambulance under her own power and appears to be OK.

She was admitted and discharged from the hospital that evening, so no serious injury was sustained thankfully.

imbondz
06-02-2008, 09:02 AM
I'd throw the book at whoever did it. You have zero conscience to hit someone with a car and speed away

Bert102176
06-02-2008, 09:12 AM
What is the usual penalty for a crime like this?

It is rare for a first time offender to get the max.

The problem is, if he was driving, it is likely he was drinking.



of course it depends on how bad the person was hurt that was hit, and it could be attempted vehicular manslaughter which could end up being years in prison

TacklingDummy
06-02-2008, 09:19 AM
It's nice to see 2 of our young players (Lynch/Hardy) are making headlines.

Michael82
06-02-2008, 09:24 AM
It's nice to see 2 of our young players (Lynch/Hardy) are making headlines.
I miss the days where we didn't hear much about our players off the field stuff. :ill:

raphael120
06-02-2008, 09:48 AM
I miss the days where we didn't hear much about our players off the field stuff. :ill:

Well people always *****ed about how the Bills never got any rotation in the news!

Well now ya do! Hahaha!

Jan Reimers
06-02-2008, 10:48 AM
Maybe those posters who thought we shouldn't rely so much on character finally got their wish.

Looks like Hardy and Lynch just might have the potential to be the new Bonnie and Clyde, although I don't know which one will be Bonnie.

DraftBoy
06-02-2008, 10:53 AM
Maybe those posters who thought we shouldn't rely so much on character finally got their wish.

Looks like Hardy and Lynch just might have the potential to be the new Bonnie and Clyde, although I don't know which one will be Bonnie.

Mikey should ask them that at TC

Mike13
06-02-2008, 01:27 PM
So the better players get stiffer penalties?

The better players get a slap on the wrist.



OMG...some people just have to get a grip.

If ML was Joe Sputnik from Depew Patmoran wouldn't even have it register on his radar. There is no way to prove he was driving. There is no way to prove he was drinking. There is no way to prove he saw the woman. There is no way to prove he was aware that she was hit. There is no way to prove that the driver knew she was down. She is uninjured.

It made news because it was ML. Regardless ML or Joe Sputnik this case will be closed rather quickly and we will all root for ML in game 1 against Seattle.

1) You cant prove he was drinking but if you hit someone the chances are pretty good that you've had few too many.

2) Right, not until any eveidence somes out

3) Claiming idiocy wont hold up in court.

4) Its hard not to feel the big thud that would have occured

5) Hit and run is hit and run, dont be stupid.

Pinkerton Security
06-02-2008, 02:23 PM
The better players get a slap on the wrist.




1) You cant prove he was drinking but if you hit someone the chances are pretty good that you've had few too many.

2) Right, not until any eveidence somes out

3) Claiming idiocy wont hold up in court.

4) Its hard not to feel the big thud that would have occured

5) Hit and run is hit and run, dont be stupid.

it was 330 in the AM. SHE was probably drunk, for all we know, and ran into the side of his car as she stumbled into the street. The driver should have stopped, yes, but im sure if a "big thud" occured, she would not be uninjured, as was the case.

Mike13
06-04-2008, 07:27 PM
it was 330 in the AM. SHE was probably drunk, for all we know, and ran into the side of his car as she stumbled into the street. The driver should have stopped, yes, but im sure if a "big thud" occured, she would not be uninjured, as was the case.

This is a joke right?