FINAL: Round 1: Patrick76777 defeats BillsOwnAll 20-14

[lordofgun]

Round 1: Patrick76777 vs. BillsOwnAll

Round 1 will be freestyle. Do whatever the heck you want. Just make sure it's funny and insulting.

Each contestant will take turns insulting each other. This round will consist of 6 turns apiece.

Patrick76777 will go first.

[Patrick76777]

Well BillsOwnAll, I usually like to have a good understanding of my opponents before I start one of these battles. Therefore I decided to scroll through your “Body of work” to get a better idea of who you are. And I would like you to know that after attempting to read through all of your posts, I am now partially Brain Damaged and permanently Dyslexic. I’ll help you with that last part. Permanently Dyslexic, using BOA phonetics would be spelled, PURMINTLY DISLECSICK. I think you should be able to figure it out now. I’d give you the definition but I figure you’ve heard the term more then enough from the Special Education department of your High School.

Jesus Man. What kind of school are you going too? I picture the teacher from Charlie Brown up at the front of the class, “mmmmrrrrrrrppffff, sssfnffffnnnnrrrrffff addllllllldddhdh NNNNNNDDdddrrrrr”. Either that or you just don’t pay attention to her as you enjoy staring out the window at the pretty dump trucks coming in and out of the chemical waste dump next door.

I probably found a spelling error in 1 out of every 3 posts, Not to mention the fact that I found a few posts that I just found hilarious. Here are a few of my favorites that I would like to share.


Originally posted by BillsOwnAll
im pretty sure you just spelt capital wrong LOL!

This may be the funniest post in the history of message boards. You giving spelling advice is like Jaded giving dating advice or Wys teaching a positive reinforcement class. It’s just not happening.



Originally posted by BillsOwnAll
im getting a B in english

Strike that last statement on the funniest post in the history of message boards. WE HAVE A NEW WINNER! What does B stand for BAD! Maybe the teacher is grading on a curve and Corky, Frankenstein and Bduff are in your class.

I’d refer to you as being Slow but I think that would be a disservice to the Slow kids. I think at this point in time you’re STOPPED.

[BillsOwnAll]

Originally posted by Patrick76777




Strike that last statement on the funniest post in the history of message boards. WE HAVE A NEW WINNER! What does B stand for BAD! Maybe the teacher is grading on a curve and Corky, Frankenstein and Bduff are in your class.

I’d refer to you as being Slow but I think that would be a disservice to the Slow kids. I think at this point in time you’re STOPPED. ok well if your makeing fun of my school systems your also makeing fun of Dozers and i did get a B if you wanna come see my report come and check it out.


AS for you spongebob or as your little mommy calls you "patrick" i have a cousing named patrick but see we stopped calling himm that when he was around 2 cuase he told us he didnt wanna turn out like all the kids who are named patrick(GAY)ill leave some of your quotes out for my next page this is just the start so dont think i cant insult just wait just wait......and if you think im in sped classes cuase i cant type your wrong you guys just dont understand that when i make a typo i dont spend time to fix it i think your the slow on who cant figure out what U means i mean say the letter its common sense so watch out who U calls speds.

:nana: your turn %$#@

[Patrick76777]

Oh my gawd, my brain hurts. I think I understand what you just wrote. Listen Bro, I could sit here and make fun of your grammar and schooling all day long but I’m afraid that I (and everybody else for that matter) would get bored. So I’ll move on.


So in reading up on you, I found out that you’re 14 years old. For about 3 seconds I felt bad that I was about to screw you up mentally for what could be years. But then I thought that you’re probably just some fat Kid that beats up the little kids in your neighborhood and suddenly I didn’t feel so bad. Just make sure that when you do reach 16 that you stop hanging out with the 8 year-old boys.

I just wish you wouldn’t waste our time here. Isn’t there some Harry Potter movie you could be watching or something? Maybe your time could be better used jacking off to those Britney Spears pictures you have tucked away under your mattress. You know, the ones with more crust on them then a New York Style pizza. Or do you do most of your spanking off the family PC. Maybe after big sister Suzy saturates the computer chair looking at pictures of N’Sync, you hop on and start scouring the web for porno all the while looking over your shoulder so mommy doesn’t catch you looking at “REAL LIVE CELEBRITY NUDES” Just keep telling mommy that you don’t know what those yellow spots are in front of your underwear and that all the tissues on your floor are a result of that bad cold that you just haven’t been able to shake for 3 years.


YER UP.

[BillsOwnAll]

ok if you think im some fat kid your wrong......i dont have a 200 pound beer belly like you. i mean i see you posted you have a wife who the hell would marry a man who is obssessed with spongebob and if your "wife" ever decides and god i hope she doesnt but decides to have a kid with you i want you to watch him on-line and see how he types. ok moveing on enough about that but if i defitnitly dont jack off here we wont go into that you can insult me there but i dont care cuase you dont need to know about my sex life....and who the hell is a grown man to be talking about a 14 year old boys sex life anyway is that what you think off when you see my posts jesus that pretty damn scary father feelly. and i dont live in your century we dont name kids suzy anymore... i bet your some over compulsicve gambler too cuase most molesters are. me i dont spend my money on 7 digits from a damn lottery ticket i just give your mom the doller for her 7 digits.

[Patrick76777]

I’m kinda in over my head here. This kid has got the stuff. I especially like how he spends 90% of his posts defending himself. You seem a little defensive about the Masturbation subject son. You’re not hiding anything are you?


Originally posted by BillsOwnAll
you can insult me there but i dont care cuase you dont need to know about my sex life....

New Book by BillsOwnAll

Title: My Sex Life

Chapter One: Daddys Hands
Chapter Two: Me, Myself and I
Chapter Three:Nothing
Chapter Four: Not much
Chapter Five: even less


I don’t know, it kinda starts out nice but it really dries up in the middle.

[BillsOwnAll]

yah ok nice book....whatever i dont even get it really but oh well is it an insult?joke what the hell is it? if and its talking more about me and sex jesus you really must be a molester if you are that concerned about a 14 years old sex life i was jokeing last insult but now im telling the truth.and i was reading one of your posts it said "i think J7 should sign up again" now your trying to pick on a 14 year old boy and you also want a girl to sign up.....you think your so good but your like the Bills wanting to play a high school football team an easy win. are you a wuss? first me now a girl?jesus if i thought i was that good i wouldnt want an easy win.

P.S ask your mom if its still on for tonight. oh and you left her out of my so called "sex life book" add here to chapter 4 please.

[Patrick76777]

Did you really quote Eminem? What is this world coming too? I can see it now, BOA strolling around his suburban neighborhood with the baggy jeans, wife beater and bleached hair.

WILL THE REAL SLIM SHADY PLEASE STAND UP!

Are you the gangbanger of your neighborhood? Bust around hopping fences and stealing for sale signs. BOA getting into a rumble, “Yo dude, normally I’d be busting a cap in your ass, but the street lights just went on and I’ve got to go home, You better hope I don’t catch around these parts anymore” Damn you really showed those little girls.

Should I go home and rent 8-mail so I know how the rest of your posts will go. It could really give me an advantage going into the final 4 posts.

But if I read correctly, you just left us to eat dinner. So I guess that means that your mom got off her fat ass to nuke those TV Dinners. What’s tonight? The Salisbury steak and carrots with the rock hard brownie desert. But don’t touch Dad’s dinner, he won’t be home for a while, He’s busy banging the cocktail waitress with one arm down at the local strip club. But mommy should have expected it. After all that is where she met him.

[BillsOwnAll]

your post right there was the "perfect" insult of any black punk. but it doesnt work for a little white boy. and go rent 8 mail if thats a movie... and your dissing eminem look where he lives look how much money he has and tell me if your **** ishalfas good as his no? and at least i know my mom and dad and i didnt get lost in "sponge bob palace" at univerasal studios for 10 years and fall in love with a squirrell named sandy. do you do anything youve been on this site since i got home from school thats like 8 hours man. is this contest that important to your life that you act like spongebob and patrick makeing fun of squidward? i mean if i showed this to a judge they would think your the 14 year old that you actully spent 8 hours of the day with this contest. i mean i want to win but i wont lose sleep if i lose. get a life go outside i mean your in your room so much you dont even see when your mom sneaks over to my house for godssake.

[Patrick76777]

It’s interesting that you think my jokes are played out when you seem to be living off Mother jokes. I think you’ve used one in just about every single post. It may be time to invest in some new material.

For some reason you think this is a close competition. I’ll tell you what you can do. Go to school tomorrow and pick out 9 or 10 of your friends. I understand that this may be tough for you, but I’m sure you’ll be able to buy a few for a couple hours. You guys can all put your heads together and maybe you can come up with something worthwhile.

I bet it’s not easy being the High School Dork. And I know it’s not easy when the Guidance Counselors actually recommends dropping out. But it’s no reason to get down on yourself. You’re still a young kid. The Acne will clear up! Some day your balls will drop and you will no longer sound like a woman! Someday you’ll be a man and you’ll be able to pursue that career in cosmetics. And I just know you’ll be the best Avon man this world has ever seen.

[BillsOwnAll]

actully i only said what 2 mom jokes....? im not liveing off that if i only used 2. i think your the high school drop out who cant even count. dd you even make it to high school before you found your career as the spongebob mascot? again you refer to my balls i really think you want to molest me the way you talk about my balls. as for the dork... you say pick out 10 friends do you know any high school dork who has 10 friends.? oh yah you didnt make it to high school i forgot my bad. oh well some day the youll wake up and realize how gay you really are you say your a grown man yet in a post last year you threw a tantrum cuase you didnt have your danceing spongebob i mean i dont know any grown men who throw tantrums espeacially about that. if there was ever a football team called the danceing spongebobs you would probbly forget the bills who i doubt you even like you just use this site for the insult conmtest where you torment women and little kids. and you would be the sponges #1 fan. i want you to go in the corner and cry there untill your calm. as for your mom i have to throw one in now well i heard your mom told you not to touch your wee wee unless you were going pee. and you listened! what did the kids call you in school? you must of have some gay ass name like little wee wee or something come out of the closet and tell everyone.

PS did you rewrite that book yet?

[Patrick76777]

Am I ever getting sick of “reading” your posts! SpongeBob, Mom, SpongeBob, Mom. Hey Half-Wit how about using that dried up prune in your head to come up with some original material. I can’t believe it took you 24 hours to come up with that last piece of garbage. And don’t give me that baseball game BS. We all know they don’t let the Chubby Kids play baseball. It’s obvious that you were down at the Walmart with Ublink stuffing candy bars into your pockets.

Wait a minute, it just hit me, I’ve watched plenty of baseball movies in the past. You know, The Sandlot, Bad News Bears. They always make the Fat kid play catcher. That’s it, you’re the catcher. You sit back there with your gut hanging over your pants, flinching every time the pitcher throws the ball and praying that you don’t have to make a play at the plate. It’s all clear to me now. I bet you get sick and tired of your teammates groaning every time you come up in the batting order. “Hey Lardass, I’m up next, don’t lose my at bat, just lean your fat ass into the strike zone and take one for the team.”

Let’s face it BOA, we all know who you are. You’re a spoiled rich kid, from the suburbs of Boston. Mommy and daddy give you everything you want so you just stay away from them. You get home from school (which is just an incredible waste of time) and you park your fat ass in front of the computer and your video game systems jamming cookies and peanut butter covered chocolates into your hole and dreaming about the 6 hot dogs you’re going chow down for dinner.


Mom, “Son, did you do your homework?”

BOA, “I ALREADY TOLD YOU MOM, YES, IT’S DONE, NOW GET OUT OF HERE”

Mom, “Are you sure, your last report card wasn’t that good, besides for that B in English which I had to give the teacher hand release for.”

BOA, “MOM, LEAVE ME ALONE, I’M ON THE LAST LEVEL OF THE NEW ROLE PLAYING VIDEO GAME,”

Mom, “OK, Have a nice nite”

BOA, “Got out of it again”


I’m done with you. Hurry up and give me your last post. I’m sure it will be another abortion.

[BillsOwnAll]

LOL you laugh at me about useing orginal materail "lardass" hmmm lets see i bvelive the fat kid on "stand by me" was named lard ass wasnt he? i mean all you do in the peanut gallery thread is hint people to vote for you let your material do that dont get in there heads i thought you were a champ if you are you dont need to ask for votes you must of like 3 posts hinted for votes. a few people saw that and told you oh wow pandering for votes huh? cuase they know you dont got this so why dont you just shut up in asking for votes and put your insults where your ass is. and how is spongebob unoringal who said that before me? are you on crack noone said that before. i oxygen must of got in you tiny little pours and affter the top half of the spionge. it must of got dry and you were pissed cuase you PMSing and you couldnt wip up the blood cuase the dry sponge was all stiff like your mothers boyfriend. im finished with you lets the damn people vote and dont pander for anymore more votes you gay nut. you think your so good oh i won the last one so everyone has to vote for me now in the first round well lets see how they vote.

[lordofgun]

Vote NOW! voting ends at 10am eastern.

[Dozerdog]

Originally posted by BillsOwnAll
i oxygen must of got in you tiny little pours and affter the top half of the spionge.


I said it earlier, if he remained incoherent I'd vote for him.


I guesss with this gem he finished strong!!!:rofl:

[Diomedes]

My vote: BillsOwnAll

[Dozerdog]

Welcome to the Zone, Diomedes!

[KrazyOneX]

Get in the zone..... AUTO-ZONE!!!

[BillsOwnAll]

glad you finally got on russ

[Valerie]

OMG! I didn't understand BOA's last post at all.:dizzy: I tried to read it twice but I got dizzy half way through it the second time.

[BillC]

:rofl:

I smell patrick throwing a **** storm because BOA has some freinds...:rofl:

[ArcticWildMan]

Good lord!! Did anybody understand that last reply by BOA? :scratch:

Well, this is an easy vote. I refuse to vote for BOA. Voting for him is no better than condoning his total butchery of English. I really hope that your lack of English skills is just an act. If it's not, you are in for a long, hard life, flipping burgers at the local Booger King. Your chances of being accepted into a college and eventually acquiring gainful employment are about nill.

[Valerie]

I didn't vote for BOA because I didn't understand half the stuff he posted. The stuff that was legible and grammatically correct was kinda funny. Unfortunately more than half his stuff was illegible and confusing. Sorry, BOA. I tried to help you by suggesting posting your replies in a Word document so you could run it through a spell check and a grammar check before you posted it, but you decided you didn't like that idea. I understand that people make typos, but you should care enough about the things you do type to try and catch as many as you can before you hit reply. If you want to go anywhere in life, you're going to have to start paying closer attention to how you write and spell. This is a great place to get started. :) There are a lot of intelligent people on this board and I'm sure they'd be willing to help you.

[Mr.Reality]

That was interesting. lol

[BillsOwnAll]

i dunno i can read it. lol oh well let th "champ" win.....i know he wont go far because hes not funny.

[Patrick76777]

I'M pandering for votes?

[Valerie]

YOu can read it because you know what you were trying to say, BOA. I'mnot trying to be mean here, I'm honestly trying to help you. You seem like a nice kid and some of your stuff was very funny. I just think you need to work on your spelling, punctuation and grammar skills a little more. At least make an attempt to try. :)

[BillC]

Originally posted by ArcticWildMan
Good lord!! Did anybody understand that last reply by BOA? :scratch:

Well, this is an easy vote. I refuse to vote for BOA. Voting for him is no better than condoning his total butchery of English. I really hope that your lack of English skills is just an act. If it's not, you are in for a long, hard life, flipping burgers at the local Booger King. Your chances of being accepted into a college and eventually acquiring gainful employment are about nill.


Pretty tough talk from a second year sideliner...punk! :)

[ArcticWildMan]

I'm just sparing you my razor sharp wit. You couldn't handle even my worst smack :biggrin:

[ArcticWildMan]

Oh...BTW, the janitorial supply store called and said to pass on to you that the white cakes you see in urinals are NOT breath mints. He said you should try your local candy store ;)

[Patrick76777]

What did you do, sign the whole baseball team up? Too bad none of them are going to count.

[Dazydog]

In order to be fair and considering the age of the contestants - Patrick had to have much better material than BOA to get my vote. I think that BOA held his own and made me laugh so he got my vote.

:mex:

[Gazoo]

Patrick lost me right away with the school marm, spelling and grammar smack ... chalk up a vote for billsownspongebob!

[Mr. Miyagi]

I hope the admins and mods are looking out for posters signing in just to vote. There seems to be a few already.

[ArcticWildMan]

Who says folks can't just vote? Not everybody wants to join the conversation.

[Gazoo]

Originally posted by Mr. Miyagi
I hope the admins and mods are looking out for posters signing in just to vote. There seems to be a few already.
Hey! I also voted for you, maybe they should be on the lookout for that one too? :pir:

[Mr. Miyagi]

Originally posted by ArcticWildMan
Who says folks can't just vote? Not everybody wants to join the conversation.
Rule #8:
8. When all turns are completed, the battle for that round is over, and I will activate a poll in which any user may vote. (If it appears people are registering simply for the reason of voting, or if users use multiple alias' to vote, those votes will not count. Save yourself the trouble. ) The vote will last 12 hours (most rounds), at which time the person who is leading in the poll is declared the winner and moves to the next round.

[Mr. Miyagi]

Originally posted by Gazoo

Hey! I voted for you too, maybe I should take that one back? :pir:
Is that you BOA? I just want this contest to be fair.

[Gunzlingr]

I voted BOA :snicker:

[Valerie]

That's not BOA. The words are spelled correctly, there's proper punctuation and you can actually read and understand what he's saying. lol

[ArcticWildMan]

Originally posted by Mr. Miyagi

Is that you BOA? I just want this contest to be fair.


Nope. His grammar is too good :D

[BillsOwnAll]

only one of those is my friend who likes the bills and will be a frequrnt poster once school gets out. dont worry i dont cheat......

[BillsOwnAll]

AWM if i lose you me and mybills freestyle 3 way?

[Mr. Miyagi]

By the way, I also voted for you. :D

[Dozerdog]

We will determine who has signed up "just" to vote.


We look at similar IP's , and so on. This contest was advertised on many other MB's, in part, to increase our membership. There will be a number of first time posters voting.

If someone wanted to skirt the rules and sign up multiple voters, why give it away by posting? We have access to all who voted. LoG will be sole ruler.... of the winner..... that he will face in the next round......hehehehehe

[ArcticWildMan]

Originally posted by BillsOwnAll
AWM if i lose you me and mybills freestyle 3 way?


Sure. How about like this:

AWM :pound: Mybills
...........BOA

[Valerie]

Originally posted by BillsOwnAll AWM if i lose you me and mybills freestyle 3 way?
lol That doesn't sound right, BOA. lol

[BillsOwnAll]

im not worried when i tried to cheat on the bills quizes when i just joined i got caught so i know he can catch people lol =) hey i wanted a 100 on the quiz.

[BillsOwnAll]

jesus J7 im the fourteen year old and look at who says what. that shows alot.

[ArcticWildMan]

Originally posted by Jaded 7

lol That doesn't sound right, BOA. lol


I was going to say that myself, but I decided to let that one pass. :D

[Mr. Miyagi]

But you know you'll be thinking about that tonight in the bathroom. :pant:

[ArcticWildMan]

Bathroom? Hell, he'll just turn on the TV in his bedroom and tune into Spank-O-Vision for his nightly fun. :D

[Gunzlingr]

come on ease up on him. We were all 14 and stupid once.

[Patrick76777]

OK, so Gunz, Gizmo, The Dogs, BOA, and 3 posters with post counts of 1,1 and 5 all voted for BOA and I'm still winning by 8. What's up my Brotha.

[BillC]

Man does he look nervous

[Patrick76777]

You wish. I'm just hoping I get to round 3. That could be fun.

[Earthquake Enyart]

BOA had me at Father Feely. :snicker:

Hope Pat is saving up his better material because this was a pretty weak effort.

[mybills]

Ditto, what EE said..

BOA, why do you want me so bad, first Patrick's mom, now me.. you have a thing for older women? :plunge:

[Valerie]

Originally posted by ArcticWildMan I was going to say that myself, but I decided to let that one pass. :D
lol Sometimes I just can't help myself. :)

[Patrick76777]

Originally posted by Earthquake Enyart
BOA had me at Father Feely. :snicker:

Hope Pat is saving up his better material because this was a pretty weak effort.


Shall we talk about weak efforts?

[Earthquake Enyart]

Talk is cheap. If you couldn't whip the crap out of a 14 year old, you won't make it out of the second round.

[Patrick76777]

I’ll I heard after my first two post was how it was all over. How I had it wrapped up. I didn’t want to waste my good stuff. Plus everyone built me up so much, I’m kind of competing against myself here.


And Listen ViJay, at least I’ll be in the second round. You just got your ass kicked by some chick.

[Dozerdog]

Now that was funny!:lol:

[Earthquake Enyart]

Originally posted by Patrick76777
I’ll I heard after my first two post was how it was all over. How I had it wrapped up. I didn’t want to waste my good stuff. Plus everyone built me up so much, I’m kind of competing against myself here.


And Listen ViJay, at least I’ll be in the second round. You just got your ass kicked by some chick.

You should have put up 4 empty posts in the last 4. Would have been better than stooping to the 14 year old level (not a stretch for you, I understand)

The way you are going, you'll be here on the sidelines with me soon... Fuzzy.

[Patrick76777]

Seriously though. I found it tough getting material on a 14 year old. Not many options.

[Michael82]

hmmm, i wonder how many votes were from the Dozer/Dazy/BillC family. :scratch: :rolleyes:

:D