FINAL: Round 2: Mr. Miyagi defeats Mr.Reality 18-17

[lordofgun]

Round 2: Mr.Reality vs. Mr. Miyagi

Round 2 will be limericks. That's right, not only does it take original insults, but also some skill to win this game.

<i>For the uneducated, a limerick is a five-line poem written with one couplet and one triplet. If a couplet is a two-line rhymed poem, then a triplet would be a three-line rhymed poem. The rhyme pattern is a a b b a with lines 1, 2 and 5 containing 3 beats and rhyming, and lines 3 and 4 having two beats and rhyming. Some people say that the limerick was invented by soldiers returning from France to the Irish town of Limerick in the 1700's.</i>

Ex:

<i>There once was a parson named Bings
Who talked about God and such things.
But his secret desire
Was to join a mixed choir
With nice ladies with whom he'd have flings.</i>

<b>Please note that I did not write the above limerick. It sucks.</b>

Notice lines 1, 2, and 5 rhyme and lines 3 and 4 rhyme.

If that's too tough for you, you shouldn't be here. If only BOA had made it to round 2. :snicker:

Each contestant will take turns insulting each other. This round will consist of just <b>5 turns</b> apiece, so make them good.

IMPORTANT: You should write ONLY a 5-line limerick in each post, NOTHING ELSE! Voters should deduct points for any words typed which are not a part of a limerick.

And remember, no editing your post once it's submitted!

Mr. Miyagi will go first. (smallest margin of victory in Round 1)

[Mr. Miyagi]

Look out kids! Here comes Mr. Reality
Out on parole from the penitentiary
But he’s now a changed man
With plenty of help in the can
He found his true calling in homosexuality

[Mr.Reality]

Mr. Miyagi, as he was known to others,
Had palms as slick as butter
When it was time for role-play
Rubber gloves he’d inflate
And play with his new pocket udders.

[Mr. Miyagi]

Want to turn that toothpick between your hips
Into something blooming like beautiful tullips?
Look who is kidding who
Viagra won’t help you
Try masking tape and a couple of Q-tips

[Mr.Reality]

MM has a comb for his tongue
For his toes, another one
When he was just three
He was shaving his knees
And parting the tuft on his bung.

[Mr. Miyagi]

MR trying to score with an hourly honey
But with $12.63 the ho thought he was funny
“You’ll have better luck,
if you really want to f**k,
spend it in the pet store on a toothless bunny!”

[Mr.Reality]

Mr. Miyagi went for a ride,
To see the other side.
But his face got broke
When his bike lost a spoke,
And they called it vaginacide.

[Mr. Miyagi]

Don't you know how to talk smack?
You can’t touch me with that, jack
Save yourself some time
there is not enough rhyme
To stop me from smoking MR like he’s crack!

[Mr.Reality]

MM couldn’t spell Eminem,
So he went with Miyagi instead.
But he still couldn’t rap
‘cause his words were all crap,
and drug ass around the next bend.

[Mr. Miyagi]

It was tough last round facing D
He’s good with rhyming everyone could see
But it’s easy beating you
Clearly you didn’t even go to school
Nor can you say “Hooked on Phonics worked for me!”

[Mr.Reality]

There once was a man from Wisconsin,
Who’s pulse wasn’t very responsive.
With his crystal ball
He said “Please, tell me all!”
It said “You’re ‘bout as useful as Rob Johnson.”

[Mr. Miyagi]

That's it! Good match MR! :hi5:

[Mr.Reality]

Good job.

[Michael82]

Polls are open for voting! Voting will close at 10 AM tomorrow.

Good Job Both of you! :up:

[Gazoo]

A limerick contest with Mr. Miyagi
It's quite like watching a frightened dog pee
Thank heavens for the diaper
When the insults make him hyper
At least we don't see it running down his knee

Then we have the muppet Mr. Reality
Trying to spoof us with hierarchy
Thinking he's a poet
Hoping we'll vote for it
Who's the limerick champ? I say ME ME ME!

:10:

Can I do that? Can I vote for me? Is this within the rules? Oh, though I do deserve it ... I guess not.

So, who to pick, let's see ...

Round 1

Miyagi - homosexual joke with an oft used prison spin
Reality - pocket pool reference with a yet to be used analogy of cow tits to a sack

Reality

Round 2

Myagi - pin dick joke with a unique q-tip needed for a boner reference
Reality - insanity, pure and simple, yet clever

Push

Round 3

Myagi - more sex jokes, the last line didn't flow, but the bunny was funny
Reality - breaking Myagi's face is liking breaking a vagina, I like it

Reality

Round 4

Myagi - good lines, but a departure from coherent by switching from the first person to third person
Reality - first four lines were great, but like Myagi, the fifth missed it's mark

Push

Round 5

Myagi - good finish
Reality - decent finish

Myagi

Nice job to both, but looks like I'm going to have to go with Mr. Reality!

[Valerie]

Nice job Mr. M and Mr. Reality. :)

Originally posted by Gazoo Round 3

Myagi - more sex jokes, the last line didn't flow, but the bunny was funny
Reality - breaking Myagi's face is liking breaking a vagina, I like it

Reality
Nice breakdown, Gazoo. :) I thought they both did a great job. Although I didn't get the bicycle joke.:dizzy:

[Mr. Miyagi]

But of course you'll vote for me right Jaded? :D

[Sabre Ally]

Nice RJ reference, Mr. R. :laughter:

[Dazydog]

Mr M did ok but my vote goes to Mr. R

:mex:

[BTP]

damn both of you did good

[SABURZFAN]

:up:

good job by both.

[Mrs. Reality]

Ditto. I voted for MR too. I think it's cool that you guys are polite to each other after you've tried shredding one another in the rounds. Very cool. :)

[Dozerdog]

Welcome aboard, Bikerbabe!

[imbondz]

Originally posted by Dozerdog
Welcome aboard, Bikerbabe!

yeah Dozer, nice try. We're not going to keep falling for it -

O.k., add bikerbabe to the list.

Dozerdog=BillC=Snoop=Jaded=Gunzlinger=Bikerbabe

[Mr. Miyagi]

Originally posted by imbondz


yeah Dozer, nice try. We're not going to keep falling for it -

O.k., add bikerbabe to the list.

Dozerdog=BillC=Snoop=Jaded=Gunzlinger=Bikerbabe
In that case how many times did Dozer actually vote for MR???

RECOUNT!!!

[Cntrygal]

Originally posted by BikerBabe
Ditto. I voted for MR too. I think it's cool that you guys are polite to each other after you've tried shredding one another in the rounds. Very cool. :)

Welcome BB!! Nice to see you over here! :)

[lordofgun]

Mr. Miyagi wins a nailbiter!

[Mr. Miyagi]

:phew:

Thank you people.
Good match MR.

:D

[Mr. Miyagi]

ANOTHER nailbiter.

[Mr.Reality]

Good game MM.

[FischInMich]

Don't feel bad Mr. Reality. There is honor in not having to spam the peanut gallery for votes.


Hickory dickory dock,
Miyagi was born with no ****,
His mother was pissed,
How could god have missed?
He now stuffs his briefs with a sock.

[mybills]

Here comes a pair of lips
realitys ass they would kiss
billszone's too cool
for all of you fools
especially for a fischinmich

[Valerie]

lol That's pretty good, MyBills. Too bad you didn't get to this round. You would've killed them. :)

[mybills]

lol, I can't stand the whinning! :snicker:

[FischInMich]

Not whining by any means. I didn't lose anything. I just recognize a bunch of pasty ****s when I see em.

Next time you feel poetic, give SoFL-Cheesehead a call for some words that rhyme.

[lordofgun]

You haven't said anything remotely funny yet.

[mybills]

SoFL the Cheesehead
and fischinmich the sped
are tied up together
like rawhide & leather
too bad they both like to spam a good thread

[Mr.Reality]

Bong
Gong
Sing
King
Kong

[imbondz]

:lol:

[FischInMich]

Originally posted by lordofgun
You haven't said anything remotely funny yet.

No need, I'm a realist, not a joker.

[FischInMich]

"How could you", said L.O.G. to his mother,
"Cavort in your bed with another?"
"Oh promise me lad
That you won't tell your dad
If I screw you as good as your brother."

[FischInMich]

There was a young lad called Miyagi
Who screwed every Tom, Dick and laddie.
But, oh disillusion;
His final conclusion
Was none were as good as his daddy.

[Dozerdog]

Originally posted by FischInMich


No need, I'm a realist, not a joker.

That's your problem....we are in this for the yucks, not the testosterone rush

[Dozerdog]

You guys at Zbuds should have one of these tourneys and invite a couple of us over-


That would be cool!

[Mr.Reality]

Originally posted by Dozerdog
You guys at Zbuds should have one of these tourneys and invite a couple of us over-


That would be cool!
They're wussies.

[Mr. Miyagi]

Originally posted by FischInMich
There was a young lad called Miyagi
Who screwed every Tom, Dick and laddie.
But, oh disillusion;
His final conclusion
Was none were as good as his daddy.
:lol: That's pretty good.

There's this kid named FischInMich
Who longs to be Reality's *****
With his ass so fat and wide
He can't feel anything inside
All he feels is nothing but an itch

[bigbry]

Originally posted by Mr.Reality

They're wussies.

Yes "they" are. Buuuuwaaaaaaaahhhhaaaaahahaha


BB

[Mr.Reality]

Mr. Miyagi better not fail me this time
Now that he's finally come up with a good line
I hope he's not spent
Or his head I will dent
I'll be back later tonight after Nightline.

[Mr. Miyagi]

I'll be back later tonight after Nightline? :)

It reminds me of the jingle "After these messages, we'll be riiiiiight back."

[Mr.Reality]

Originally posted by Mr. Miyagi
I'll be back later tonight after Nightline? :)

It reminds me of the jingle &quot;After these messages, we'll be riiiiiight back.&quot;
That's more than you'll be saying Monday night.

[FischInMich]

Originally posted by Mr. Miyagi

:lol: That's pretty good.

There's this kid named FischInMich
Who longs to be Reality's *****
With his ass so fat and wide
He can't feel anything inside
All he feels is nothing but an itch


:beer:


Miyagi's a 2 nickel whore,
His poems have become quite the bore,
He lost his *** wiper,
So he used his diaper,
His chin isn't white anymore.

[honey]

:eek: Even I'm embarrassed by that one, Fisch.

[FischInMich]

Originally posted by honey
:eek: Even I'm embarrassed by that one, Fisch.

Don't be embarassed, Honey. It's all in good fun.

[honey]

;) Ok.

[Mr.Reality]

Originally posted by Dozerdog
You guys at Zbuds should have one of these tourneys and invite a couple of us over-


That would be cool!
Really, about all you have to do is go over there and start insulting people and they'll all get hard ons and start talking s**t. For instance, if Bill C popped in, they'd be all over that. Lotta Clinton haters there. You'd barely have to lay any bait. It'd be almost as easy than FinHeaven. Just go in and ***** about the economy. Gunzlinger would have a similar effect with all the crack whore talk.

I laid the same challenge down to FinHeaven, but all they do is go there, spy, and give scouting reports about our trolling exploits to everybody. Kinda hackish, I'd say.

You guys have a lot more visitors than we do. This place is ripe for a smack forum of some kind. 24 hours a day. It's hilarious if you take it the right way, which is to say, just brush it off and laugh.