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View Full Version : SEMIFINALS: gunzlingr defeats Mr. Miyagi 12-11 in 2-round FREESTYLE SHOWDOWN OF DEATH



lordofgun
05-20-2003, 09:24 AM
OK, you each get 2 turns. gunzlingr is up!

Gunzlingr
05-20-2003, 10:49 AM
Well Miyagi, just like a bad case of genital warts, you return. Tell, did your parents have any kids that lived? It must have been tough on them being your parents, and your aunt and uncle too. I guess your dad took it to heart when he heard that "incest is best, put your sister to the test"

So how you been doing? I understand you have more strains of VD than the continent of Africa, so many that the CDC had this poster made for their convention last year:

http://www.sbtc.net/~drwho/images/prevent.jpg

I hear that you are pretty popular with the homeless crowd too, well the gay part of it. I am no way judging your tastes in men, just making an observation from this graph I found:

http://www.sbtc.net/~drwho/images/veet21b.jpg

I can't believe that your neighbors haven't run you off yet, maybe they haven't realized you are a registered sex offender yet. What am I thinking? It is Wisconsin, they are all sex offenders.

I see your wife has a new video out. Mrs. Miyagi's all Hermaphrodite Gang Bang MCM, her website www.nastyskanks.com/miyagi.htm says that Diseased Sailor Today gave it 2 pants down. I don't know if that means it is good or bad, but I guess she has has probably seen more diseased sailors than Bethesda Naval Hospital.

I hear you are about due for another trip to Thailand for more "boyish" fun. I would warn you to watch out for SARS, but I think the crap you carry is far worse.

I had better let you get back to work, those gay bukkake videos are time consuming to film I hear.

Mr. Miyagi
05-20-2003, 01:50 PM
The Story of My Life Ė by gunzlinger

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far far away :england:, or what they call South Dakota, there lived a family named The Gunzlingers. There was Papa Gunz :monte:, Mama Gunz :apu:, Big Gunz :2guns:, Dual Gunz :pow:, and Baby Gunz :maggie:. This family was a very loving family :argue:, and everyone was very close to each other :makeout: :smooch:.

Papa Gunz was a great father :boozer:, always playing with his children :whip: :spank:, telling them great stories about life :angry:, and teaching them to act responsibly :beer: :smoke:. He also particularly favored the youngest, Baby Gunz, whom you have all come to know as our very own Gunzlinger :bigmike:. Papa Gunz loved Baby Gunz so much, when the other kids werenít looking :cheers:, he would teach him extra lessons :stick: and played special games with him :moon: :hump:. And Baby Gunz enjoyed every single minute of it :o: :hump:.

When Baby Gunz was a teenager :bart:, he was a very quiet young man and had kept to himself :gag:. Although he was not particularly the most popular kid in school :stone: :pound: :hammeru:, he had looked to his future and had many dreams :z:. He had inspired to be an artist :punk:, an athlete :afro:, and a professional :nurse:. He had vowed to make something of himself :redhead:.

One day, as he was minding his own business :scratch:, the girl in his dreams :louie: suddenly emerged out of nowhere in front of his eyes. He gathered up his courage and approached the love of his life :bduff:. To his surprised, the girl had also spotted him :$: :$: out of the crowd and apparently was very intrigued by him :bling:. They fell in love :love: almost immediately and had got to know to each other very well :cp: in a very short time. Gunz was sure that they would then live happily ever after.

However, since shortly after the mate of his dream :louie: had disappeared from Gunzís life as soon as he hit some financial difficulty :bling:, which he could not imagine why :scratch:, Gunz had kept his composure :hitself: with dignity :dizzy: and integrity :drool:. He now continues to lead a fruitful life :baghead: and to this day is still a handsome :finfan:, intelligent :insane:, athletic :bigmike: contributing member of our society :machgun: :patriot: with a healthy lifestyle :boozer: :smoke:.

Gunzlingr
05-20-2003, 02:36 PM
MR. MIYAGI..THIS IS YOUR LIFE!

A product of a love greater than any brother-sister bond (or any state law), Mr. Miyagi was born to Ursula Fangburn and Francois Miyagi on October 12th, 1970 in a dumpster near Niagra Falls.

Miyagi had a tough time growing up, a lonely bastard child from the wrong side of the tracks. His only friends- a crack whore named Sadie, and a scooter he stole from the the lost and found of the Jehovah's Witness Kingdom hall. When he wasn't busy riding a passed out Sadie, he was busy riding his scooter.
http://sbtc.net/~drwho/images/netpimp23.jpg

As if school wasn't hard enough, puberty hit Miyagi at age 17, and it hit him hard. Any more hair, and he could have doubled as Chewbaca in the next Star Wars film (ironic isn't it, that he seems to be balding in all of his photos?).

http://www.sbtc.net/~drwho/images/netpimp12.jpg

Along with a massive case of Sasquatch-itis, puberty left Miyagi questioning his sexuality, and why he liked to dress in women's clothing.

Luckily for him, when he graduated highschool at age 23, there was place he could go, and be himself sexually. It was a magical place for Miyagi, a place that few dare go. A place where he could be free to spread his love, his legs, and his many, many social diseases. That place... Wisconsin!

Today Miyagi has settled down to a life of homo-erotic films, penicillin shots, and rogaine. He met his life partner, Jo-Jo on the set of his film, "Wax on, Whack off". Due to the modern scientific miracle that is electrolysis, he is relative free of his werewolf like fuzz, and enjoys leather, latex, and sexually suggestive foods.

http://www.sbtc.net/~drwho/images/netpimp18.jpg

Mr. Miyagi, of Sheboygan, Wisconsin, bastian of hope to viral and bacterial infections everywhere, this is your life!

Mr. Miyagi
05-20-2003, 03:42 PM
Has anyone seen Gunzlinger's picture? Ever wonder how he got to be so big :bigmike:? Is it the nutrition packed foods in South Dakota? I've always wondered.

After conducting many exhausting hours of research, I came across a website which hold Gunzlinger's family secret. Apparently Gunzlinger's father, Papa Gunz :monte:, owned a restaurant. And below is one of its advertisement found in a local newspaper:

"Got an animal you canít keep?
Unexpected pregnancy from your sheep?
No need to worry you can relax
Zebras, lions, dogs or cats
Let me take them off your hands
Iíll make a new dish on demand
No part of a beast will go uneaten
Gunzlingerís cuisine canít be beaten
Ears, noses, tails and heels
Rest assure Iíll make some tasty meals"

lordofgun
05-20-2003, 03:47 PM
Good job! Voting open until 12 midnight eastern!

Mr. Miyagi
05-20-2003, 03:48 PM
:hi5: gunz

Gunzlingr
05-20-2003, 04:00 PM
good match MM

TypicalBill
05-20-2003, 04:04 PM
good job guys :chuckle:

Mr.Reality
05-20-2003, 04:45 PM
MM, I'm impressed. That first one was hilarious. Just LOOKING at it was hilarious. It was like overkill ridiculous to the nth degree, two pronged funny.

Michael82
05-20-2003, 04:49 PM
Very good, guys! :up:

:movie:

so, who wants my vote? It's for sale if one of you guys wants it. :D PM me. :)

Mr. Miyagi
05-20-2003, 04:50 PM
What's the bidding start at? ;)

Mr. Miyagi
05-20-2003, 04:51 PM
Originally posted by Mr.Reality
MM, I'm impressed. That first one was hilarious. Just LOOKING at it was hilarious. It was like overkill ridiculous to the nth degree, two pronged funny.
Coming from you, it's a heck of a compliment. :D Thanks MR! :up:

mybills
05-20-2003, 05:07 PM
The ultimate song was playing when I read these posts...Neil Young...

"I heard fighting..and bullwhips cracking..and how long, how long, hoooow long.....

Damn, I wish this went on a little longer...you guys ROCK!!! LOL!

shelby
05-20-2003, 05:34 PM
:spit:

Absolutely :angry:ing hilarious!!!! Great job, both of you!!

:rofl:

honey
05-20-2003, 10:26 PM
When does this vote end??? I'm getting bored over here. :boring:

Fat Tony
05-20-2003, 10:43 PM
Don't you have some cows to rub out? :pow:

honey
05-20-2003, 10:48 PM
:eek: I thought I hired YOU to do that, Fat Tony! :D Didn't you get the cash yet?

Mr. Miyagi
05-20-2003, 10:59 PM
It ends in 2 minutes. I guess gunz won. :(

lordofgun
05-20-2003, 11:00 PM
It's over! Gunz wins by 1 vote!

Mr. Miyagi
05-20-2003, 11:02 PM
Congratulations gunz. :hi5:

In a way I'm kinda glad because I'm exhausted from it. :z:

Gunzlingr
05-20-2003, 11:02 PM
:cool:

honey
05-20-2003, 11:03 PM
Sorry, MM! I thought your last insult was GREAT! :up:

Gunzlingr
05-20-2003, 11:03 PM
The waiting was killin' me. I was reloading the page about every damn minute

Mr. Miyagi
05-20-2003, 11:03 PM
How come so few people voted tonight?

Gunzlingr
05-20-2003, 11:04 PM
Originally posted by Mr. Miyagi
How come so few people voted tonight?

Everybody must have been watching that Hitler mini-series

Mr. Miyagi
05-20-2003, 11:04 PM
Glad we didn't have to cheat to go buy that vote. It was BS I really thought.

Mr. Miyagi
05-20-2003, 11:05 PM
Maybe I'll start posting in the loser excuse thread now. :D

Gunz, don't let me down. You go kill BillC and make me proud man!

Gunzlingr
05-20-2003, 11:06 PM
I never dreamt I would get past you MM, you are a most worthy opponent *bow*

Mr. Miyagi
05-20-2003, 11:07 PM
Thanks man. I wish I could say the same. You sucked! :jk:

I'm off to bed now. Catch you tomorrow!

Mr. Miyagi
05-20-2003, 11:08 PM
And maybe we'll team up in the all-star tournament!

honey
05-20-2003, 11:08 PM
You guys were both :fabulous: ! I don't think I've laughed that hard in days! :D

Earthquake Enyart
05-21-2003, 06:38 AM
Darn it. I didn't get a chance to vote. :snicker:

Mr. Miyagi
05-21-2003, 07:42 AM
You would've voted for gunz anyway EE. :peace:

mybills
05-21-2003, 07:58 AM
:eek: MM had a 3 point lead when I logged off last night!
Good job guys!
Congrats, Gunz!

Gunzlingr
05-21-2003, 08:06 AM
Originally posted by mybills
:eek: MM had a 3 point lead when I logged off last night!
Good job guys!
Congrats, Gunz!

It was tied when I voted at 10:45 CST

Mr. Miyagi
05-21-2003, 08:09 AM
Originally posted by mybills
:eek: MM had a 3 point lead when I logged off last night!
Good job guys!
Congrats, Gunz!
You can catch up very quickly when you have your whole family logging in and voting for you. :eek:

:jk:

mybills
05-21-2003, 08:11 AM
:lol:

You better have some good stuff ready for BillC...lol...I can't wait to see THAT match up! :D

Mr. Miyagi
05-21-2003, 08:17 AM
GO GUNZ GO!!!!!!!

BillC
05-21-2003, 08:23 AM
Originally posted by Mr. Miyagi
GO GUNZ GO!!!!!!!



Yes Gunz, Go!..... Go quietly.... don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya

Earthquake Enyart
05-21-2003, 08:37 AM
I would have voted to tie it back up just to drive Log mad......

:snicker:

Michael82
05-21-2003, 09:03 AM
Oh, he would have hated you for that. This would have been him.... :insane:

Mr. Miyagi
05-21-2003, 09:34 AM
Originally posted by Earthquake Enyart
I would have voted to tie it back up just to drive Log mad......

:snicker:
Damn it, then where the hell were you this morning???!!!

Valerie
05-21-2003, 10:36 AM
I don't even remember who I voted for.:idunno: I thought you both were hysterical. :chuckle: I'd like to see the two of you go at it again. lol

Mr. Miyagi
05-21-2003, 10:55 AM
Someone should've voted for me to tie us up again, then we'll do a tag team against BillC. THAT would've been fun. :D

lordofgun
05-21-2003, 11:08 AM
:rofl: That's what we were going to do in case of a tie. Except we were going to make it a 3-way free-for-all final.

Mr. Miyagi
05-21-2003, 12:28 PM
That would've been cool. Another format consideration for the all-star tournament?

marshall
05-21-2003, 04:10 PM
I WIN!