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I've thrown together a list of excuses you can say to people when they give you **** because the Bills suck and you just hate to admit that they really do suck and/or when certain things happen on the field that cause you to have to defend that ineptness.
Just copy these down, carry them with you wherever you go during this football season, and whenever someone gives you a bunch of crap after a loss (or in general), just refer to this guide for a nice, handy excuse:
When Trent Edwards falls down and gets hurt without being touched:
"Roscoe Parrish was running around under the turf and accidentally tripped him up."
When Kavika Mitchell misses a tackle for the 20th time in the game:
"Fantastic Sam's was closed this weekend and he wasn't able to cut the hair out of his eyes."
When Dick Jauron doesn't challenge a play that is clearly a bad call:
"He was too busy thinking about the next series and how best to put his players in position to win."
When the no-huddle produces its 4th straight 3-and-out to start the game:
"They're trying to give Brian Moorman some practice so he can win the "who can hit the Cowboys scoreboard" contest next month.
When the defense is completely disorganized and gives up its 3rd straight 3rd-and-long of a drive:
"They're having a tough time understanding where to be because Leodis McKelvin is calling the defense in the huddle."
When they lose the home opener to Tampa:
"Dick Jauron's explicit instructions were to make the Bucs feel good their first trip to Buffalo. We followed the plan perfectly."
When Trent throws his 3rd INT of the first half:
"Yeah? So? Tom Brady and Joe Montana threw three interceptions.......once........I think."
When the offense scores only field goals and no TDs in each of the first four games:
"Uh, it's called working on the winter game plan for when we have to play low-scoring games at home in the playoffs."
When Poz is too slow getting to the hole and the RB blows by him:
"YOU try running with all those letters across your back!"
When a Bills receiver lets yet another ball be intercepted because he failed to make a play on it:
"These refs suck."
When Andy Levitre gets knocked back into Trent causing yet another sack and/or fumble:
"In Buffalo, everyone needs to learn to skate backwards."
When Donte Whitner gets trucked by a running back:
"You really can't expect a 1st round pick to be that good in only his 4th year. He needs time to develop"
When Turk Schonert calls for a Marshawn Lynch pass to Derek Schouman when the Bills are on their own 3 yard line, and it of course, gets intercepted for a pick-6:
"I do it all the time on Madden. Seems to work for me pretty well. I don't see the problem with the call. It was the execution that sucked."
AND FINALLY, when you just can't think of anything else to say after taking crap for yet another pitiful showing by the Bills, don't worry. Just insert the universal mantra:
"THE REFS SUCKED!"
Just copy these down, carry them with you wherever you go during this football season, and whenever someone gives you a bunch of crap after a loss (or in general), just refer to this guide for a nice, handy excuse:
When Trent Edwards falls down and gets hurt without being touched:
"Roscoe Parrish was running around under the turf and accidentally tripped him up."
When Kavika Mitchell misses a tackle for the 20th time in the game:
"Fantastic Sam's was closed this weekend and he wasn't able to cut the hair out of his eyes."
When Dick Jauron doesn't challenge a play that is clearly a bad call:
"He was too busy thinking about the next series and how best to put his players in position to win."
When the no-huddle produces its 4th straight 3-and-out to start the game:
"They're trying to give Brian Moorman some practice so he can win the "who can hit the Cowboys scoreboard" contest next month.
When the defense is completely disorganized and gives up its 3rd straight 3rd-and-long of a drive:
"They're having a tough time understanding where to be because Leodis McKelvin is calling the defense in the huddle."
When they lose the home opener to Tampa:
"Dick Jauron's explicit instructions were to make the Bucs feel good their first trip to Buffalo. We followed the plan perfectly."
When Trent throws his 3rd INT of the first half:
"Yeah? So? Tom Brady and Joe Montana threw three interceptions.......once........I think."
When the offense scores only field goals and no TDs in each of the first four games:
"Uh, it's called working on the winter game plan for when we have to play low-scoring games at home in the playoffs."
When Poz is too slow getting to the hole and the RB blows by him:
"YOU try running with all those letters across your back!"
When a Bills receiver lets yet another ball be intercepted because he failed to make a play on it:
"These refs suck."
When Andy Levitre gets knocked back into Trent causing yet another sack and/or fumble:
"In Buffalo, everyone needs to learn to skate backwards."
When Donte Whitner gets trucked by a running back:
"You really can't expect a 1st round pick to be that good in only his 4th year. He needs time to develop"
When Turk Schonert calls for a Marshawn Lynch pass to Derek Schouman when the Bills are on their own 3 yard line, and it of course, gets intercepted for a pick-6:
"I do it all the time on Madden. Seems to work for me pretty well. I don't see the problem with the call. It was the execution that sucked."
AND FINALLY, when you just can't think of anything else to say after taking crap for yet another pitiful showing by the Bills, don't worry. Just insert the universal mantra:
"THE REFS SUCKED!"
thanks Sal, i needed that!
& 
too!!
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