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I sometimes think I should mail my resume to OBD to be the next O.C. of Buffalo.
Here's what it would look like
Dear Sir/Madam,
I'm attaching my resume to become the next Offensive Coordinator of the Buffalo Bills.
Here are my credintials:
Name: Adam
Sex: I have a pair, but I won't think with them most of the time.
Age: 30
Football Experience: I have many years of watching the Buffalo Bills and learning what NOT to do as an offensive coordinator. You can't buy this kind of experience. I don't have a PHD, MBA or Masters in Physchology, Philosophy or any of that useless crap. I have a degree in football 101.
Plusses: I'm not ******ed. My name isn't Turk, Steve, Kevin or Mike. I like cheeseburgers, but not for the players on gamedays. I love the Buffalo Bills, and would do anything to see them succeed and make it to the playoffs and eventual superbowl. (Baby steps). I would schedule weekly field trips to the endzone, so the players knew what it looked/felt like to be in it. I would have a session at the end of each practice for guys to practice their endzone dances, so at least they'd look cool, when they eventually made it there (if they ever did).
Negatives: I like to kick midgets, so the midget trainer might want to stay out of my way.
In closing, I'd like to say that I'd be the perfect man for the job, for all of the aformentioned reasons. Oh yeah, I'm really cool, and like to cover my mouth when calling plays to make myself look smarter on game days.
Signed,
Adam.
Here's what it would look like
Dear Sir/Madam,
I'm attaching my resume to become the next Offensive Coordinator of the Buffalo Bills.
Here are my credintials:
Name: Adam
Sex: I have a pair, but I won't think with them most of the time.
Age: 30
Football Experience: I have many years of watching the Buffalo Bills and learning what NOT to do as an offensive coordinator. You can't buy this kind of experience. I don't have a PHD, MBA or Masters in Physchology, Philosophy or any of that useless crap. I have a degree in football 101.
Plusses: I'm not ******ed. My name isn't Turk, Steve, Kevin or Mike. I like cheeseburgers, but not for the players on gamedays. I love the Buffalo Bills, and would do anything to see them succeed and make it to the playoffs and eventual superbowl. (Baby steps). I would schedule weekly field trips to the endzone, so the players knew what it looked/felt like to be in it. I would have a session at the end of each practice for guys to practice their endzone dances, so at least they'd look cool, when they eventually made it there (if they ever did).
Negatives: I like to kick midgets, so the midget trainer might want to stay out of my way.
In closing, I'd like to say that I'd be the perfect man for the job, for all of the aformentioned reasons. Oh yeah, I'm really cool, and like to cover my mouth when calling plays to make myself look smarter on game days.
Signed,
Adam.
" ~ yordad
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