I'm thinking of submitting my resume to OBD to become O.C.

[Forward_Lateral]

I sometimes think I should mail my resume to OBD to be the next O.C. of Buffalo.

Here's what it would look like

Dear Sir/Madam,

I'm attaching my resume to become the next Offensive Coordinator of the Buffalo Bills.

Here are my credintials:

Name: Adam
Sex: I have a pair, but I won't think with them most of the time.
Age: 30
Football Experience: I have many years of watching the Buffalo Bills and learning what NOT to do as an offensive coordinator. You can't buy this kind of experience. I don't have a PHD, MBA or Masters in Physchology, Philosophy or any of that useless crap. I have a degree in football 101.

Plusses: I'm not ******ed. My name isn't Turk, Steve, Kevin or Mike. I like cheeseburgers, but not for the players on gamedays. I love the Buffalo Bills, and would do anything to see them succeed and make it to the playoffs and eventual superbowl. (Baby steps). I would schedule weekly field trips to the endzone, so the players knew what it looked/felt like to be in it. I would have a session at the end of each practice for guys to practice their endzone dances, so at least they'd look cool, when they eventually made it there (if they ever did).

Negatives: I like to kick midgets, so the midget trainer might want to stay out of my way.

In closing, I'd like to say that I'd be the perfect man for the job, for all of the aformentioned reasons. Oh yeah, I'm really cool, and like to cover my mouth when calling plays to make myself look smarter on game days.

Signed,

Adam.

[ddaryl]

You got the job, you sold me with
Sex: I have a pair

when can you start.

[trapezeus]

The Bills response:

Ralph's question: What is your salary requirements?
Modrak's question:Can you perform at a satisfactory level without top level talent?
Jauron's question: Can you clap?

[yordad]

He sold me with, "I like to kick midgets".

[thenry20]

The Bills response:

Ralph's question: What is your salary requirements?
Modrak's question:Can you perform at a satisfactory level without top level talent?
Jauron's question: Can you clap?

^^^^^ Epic Funnies

[DraftBoy]

I could put together a FO and coaching staff based just on posters and their knowledge that Im pretty sure could match wits with our current regime in all aspects of their jobs.

[Hemlepp53]

I honestly think this might work. We should at least hire someone who is passionate about the team and wanting to win at all cost. All cost not meaning "SpyGate" style but I wouldnt cry if we didnt get caught these days.... Forward Lat for OC works for me. Lets give him a chance...

[DraftBoy]

When they fire the 4 headed monster at GM, Ill have to resubmit my resume for that job.

[Mr. Pink]

When they fire the 4 headed monster at GM, Ill have to resubmit my resume for that job.


If they hire you, you better find me a job in the staff!

:rofl:

[patmoran2006]

When they fire the 4 headed monster at GM, Ill have to resubmit my resume for that job.
Before you do that, can you resubmit your headshot to BSD.

[DraftBoy]

Before you do that, can you resubmit your headshot to BSD.

Done.

[YardRat]

I could put together a FO and coaching staff based just on posters and their knowledge that Im pretty sure could match wits with our current regime in all aspects of their jobs.

Why thank you. I'm flattered. Truly.

I'd vote for F_L for OC :D

[DraftBoy]

If they hire you, you better find me a job in the staff!

:rofl:

I got a perfect job for you...how are you skills with this saying;

"Ice Cold Beer!"

[Mr. Pink]

I got a perfect job for you...how are you skills with this saying;

"Ice Cold Beer!"


As long as I can drink on the job, I can master that!

[DraftBoy]

As long as I can drink on the job, I can master that!

Sure why the hell not, you'll need to drink for a couple of years while I mitigate this disaster and begin to turn it around.

[Forward_Lateral]

DB, you gotta hire me as OC, but don't fire the midget trainer until I get to kick him, at least once!

[DraftBoy]

DB, you gotta hire me as OC, but don't fire the midget trainer until I get to kick him, at least once!

Done.

Team President/GM-DraftBoy
Director of Pro Personnel-Yardrat
OC/Midget Punter-FL
Beer Vendor-FTY

Anybody else want a job?

[JD]

Done.

Team President/GM-DraftBoy
Director of Pro Personnel-Yardrat
OC/Midget Punter-FL
Beer Vendor-FTY

Anybody else want a job?
Can I take the midgets position? since I'm sure he doesn't like to be kicked

[DraftBoy]

Can I take the midgets position? since I'm sure he doesn't like to be kicked
You want to be hired to be punted on a weekly basis??

[Lexwhat]

Done.

Team President/GM-DraftBoy
Director of Pro Personnel-Yardrat
OC/Midget Punter-FL
Beer Vendor-FTY

Anybody else want a job?

Every NFL organization needs a professional cleaning crew. Bleachers, bathrooms, etc...

...Turk Schonert, the authoritarian, is looking for a job.


As for me, I'd love to control game-day music. I actually know what the players listen to. No square pegs in round holes from my end.

[DraftBoy]

Every NFL organization needs a professional cleaning crew. Bleachers, bathrooms, etc...

...Turk Schonert, the authoritarian, is looking for a job.


As for me, I'd love to control game-day music. I actually know what the players listen to. No square pegs in round holes from my end.


Schonert can keep shopping then...

As for being in charge of the music board...sure you got it.

[Ground Chuck]

I hope the midget whips your ass.

[JD]

You want to be hired to be punted on a weekly basis??
I'm no midget, I kick back.

[DraftBoy]

I'm no midget, I kick back.

I think you need to re-read the description of the job your applying for...first off you have to be a midget and second off you have to get punted on a weekly basis.

[Forward_Lateral]

Some people just don't get it, Draftboy.

[Night Train]

Get a Marketing degree by mail from St. John Fisher.

You'll be running the whole team in no time.