Brandon Looking Into Cardboard Cut-Out For Next Coach

[Night Train]

It will be one that was in the hallway of the OBD adm. bldg.

One that Ralph has seen before.

It's all coming together. Excellent. :monte:

[BertSquirtgum]

might as well hire a jeff dunham type and have him make a coach marionette and have dunham connected to ralph.

[DRutka]

I could just see the press conference now…

http://i46.tinypic.com/2pref68.jpg

Ralph: “Ummm. I’m here today. Really I am ha ha ha, to in-troduce someone that this organization needs. It is someone that I know the fans want, the players want, and wanted to be here.
This is our new head coach… William “Buffalo Bill” Cowher.”

Russ places a cardboard cutout in front of the podium.

Press: Looking at each other wondering WTF.

Ralph: “Buffalo Bill has had a long day with travel and the contract signing, so he will not answer any questions today, so I’ll turn it over to our great general manager, the one who spear-headed this deal, Buddy Nix.”

Buddy: “This is a great day in Buffalo Bills history. Russ started targeting this man 9 weeks ago, and after some thorough negotiations, we landed him. This is the man that will lead the turnaround of this organization. Bill has requested that Russ (Brandon) hire his assistant coaches for him and that search has already begun.”

Russ: Interrupting… “If anyone is interested in a coaching spot, or if you know of anyone that might be interested, have them send a resume to One Bills Drive or on-line at www.buffalobills.com."

Buddy: “I’ll now take any questions you might have.”

Press: “cricket sounds”.

Buddy: “Anyone?”

Press: “Ummm, you do know that is a cardboard cutout of Bill, right?”

Buddy: “What are you talking about, next.”

Press: “Really, what is going on. Did we sign Bill Cowher, did we not sign him?”

Ralph: Interrupting… “What is going on? This is what everyone wanted. Now it seems all of you are a bunch of whiny unappreciative little girls. I spent a lot of money on this hire, and I expect more support from you guys.”

In the background… Sounds of a phone dialing a 3 digit number. “Hello, 9-1-1? I’d like to report a couple of mentally ill senile old men that need hospitalization.”



The next day...

Buffalo News Headline: "RALPH, RUSS, and BUDDY HOSPITALIZED!" "Bills have no front office or coaches heading into 2010 season."




.

[realdealryan]

might as well hire a jeff dunham type and have him make a coach marionette and have dunham connected to ralph.

I'm fine with a ventriloquist if he can coach.

[Novacane]

The Bills ought to hold a coach of the week contest. Let fans send in essays stating why they should be coach of the week. Have the 16 winners come to training camp so they can get to know the players then each one gets to coach 1 game. They can bring a group of friends to be thier assistants for the week. :up:

[Poz's Posse]

Lets hope he can find someone to stand in for the likeness to be created.......oh thats right we have Leslie Frazier to do that.

[THRILLHO]

I could just see the press conference now…


Press: “Really, what is going on. Did we sign Bill Cowher, did we not sign him?”

Ralph:

.
Ralph's response to that: "You would have to ask him."

[Billz_fan]

Well hell we may as well use a cardboard cu-tout for a coach. We got enough cut-outs on the field already :D

[Nighthawk]

This entire process has become comical. I don't care that it's taking time, but shouldn't they at least be interviewing people??? What a joke this is...one interview (Frazier) and it's a done deal?!?! Ralph is a loser, always will be a loser until he dies.

[shelby]

DRutka....that was freaking funny! :rofl:

[Cleve]

hahaha, the Bills should hire Robert Smigel, the comedian who used to be Bill Clinton's "Lips" on the Conan O'Brien show, to provide the Cowher cut out with moving, superimposed lips and voice when 'Cowher' makes media appearances and interviews on ESPN, et al.

It would be even funnier if Smiegel used the same voice for Cowher that he did for Clinton. "Yee-haaa! It's a ground-swell for hummers!"

[SABURZFAN]

It will be one that was in the hallway of the OBD adm. bldg.

One that Ralph has seen before.

It's all coming together. Excellent. :monte:


it'll save The Old Fart millions of dollars too. ANOTHER great idea by Brandon. that's ****ing awesome. :bf1:

[ddaryl]

I thought we already had a carboard cutout as a HC or was Jauron a real person ?

[Typ0]

I was going to put a post on another thread and thought of this one. We could make major headlines next season:

"Bills First NFL Franchise to Field Team With No Head Coach"

They will get some bargain basement coordinators and put this cut out on the sidelines with a loud speaker mounted behind it's mouth. The voice coming out of it will sound strikingly similar to Ralph Wilsons.

[Throne Logic]

This entire process has become comical. I don't care that it's taking time, but shouldn't they at least be interviewing people??? What a joke this is...one interview (Frazier) and it's a done deal?!?! Ralph is a loser, always will be a loser until he dies.

What's truly sad is that I think they are trying to bring in candidates for interview. Problem is, they can't seem to get past "Hello".