psubills62
01-20-2010, 03:19 PM
These are just my opinion of what might happen. You may agree or disagree, but I'm doing my best to predict what will happen.
1. St. Louis Rams - Ndamukong Suh, DT
Rams fans will be pleased that they finally manage to shore up their run defense (hopefully). None of the QB's were worth the #1 overall pick, so they're going to shoot for the top pick again next year, when no QB will be worth it yet again.
2. Detroit Lions - Dez Bryant, WR
Lions fans burst into tears as Roger Goodell reads the name of yet another first round wide receiver. Things turn ugly as people figure out from his chortling that Goodell was actually joking. What the commish didn't realize is that his announcement is final. Detroit's suicide rate increases by 5% overnight.
3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Jimmy Clausen, QB
"We're glad to finally have our quarterback of the future," Raheem Morris says with a smile at the podium. What they didn't realize is that they were drafting based on the 2008 roster, completely forgetting that they got Josh Freeman last year. Trade rumors spring up immediately.
4. Washington Redskins - Russell Okung, OT
Mike Shanahan comes to the podium and mentions that they were very impressed with the young draft pick, and that he will immediately start competing with Mike Williams for the right tackle spot. This ultimately only ends up reminding Redskins fans that Mike Williams is still on the roster. Chaos ensues.
5. Kansas City Chiefs - Terrence Cody, NT
Todd Haley obviously prefers big men. Romeo Crennel, Charlie Weis, and now he grabs Mount Cody. Unfortunately, Cody has no connection to Bill Belichick, which is his only downside as Coach Haley sees it.
6. Seattle Seahawks - Matt Barkley, QB
At first very pleased with himself, Pete Carroll's face turns to fury when told that Barkley is ineligible for this draft...and next year's. "**** it! We already gave him the SUV, too!"
7. Cleveland Browns - Toby Gerhart, RB
After reportedly calling every GM possible and trying to trade down, Mangini reluctantly drafts someone. Since he refuses to play Jerome Harrison, despite mounting evidence that Harrison has talent, Mangini drafts his replacement.
8. Oakland Raiders - Mount Everest, ??
"If someone drafted Mount Cody, then we're going to go even bigger!" Al Davis chuckles, nearly choking on the spit that regurgitates suddenly. "He lacks some mobility, and didn't time very well in the 40, but we're going to give him a shot at defensive tackle. He's obviously got bulk to spare." According to a source, "Maybe this Everest guy can show Jamarcus Russell how to lose a little weight."
9. Buffalo Bills - Bill Cowher, HC
"And you guys thought we weren't going to make a big splash," Buddy Nix cackles. "We had this little thing planned all along." When told that you hire head coaches, you don't draft them, Nix begins swearing.
1. St. Louis Rams - Ndamukong Suh, DT
Rams fans will be pleased that they finally manage to shore up their run defense (hopefully). None of the QB's were worth the #1 overall pick, so they're going to shoot for the top pick again next year, when no QB will be worth it yet again.
2. Detroit Lions - Dez Bryant, WR
Lions fans burst into tears as Roger Goodell reads the name of yet another first round wide receiver. Things turn ugly as people figure out from his chortling that Goodell was actually joking. What the commish didn't realize is that his announcement is final. Detroit's suicide rate increases by 5% overnight.
3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Jimmy Clausen, QB
"We're glad to finally have our quarterback of the future," Raheem Morris says with a smile at the podium. What they didn't realize is that they were drafting based on the 2008 roster, completely forgetting that they got Josh Freeman last year. Trade rumors spring up immediately.
4. Washington Redskins - Russell Okung, OT
Mike Shanahan comes to the podium and mentions that they were very impressed with the young draft pick, and that he will immediately start competing with Mike Williams for the right tackle spot. This ultimately only ends up reminding Redskins fans that Mike Williams is still on the roster. Chaos ensues.
5. Kansas City Chiefs - Terrence Cody, NT
Todd Haley obviously prefers big men. Romeo Crennel, Charlie Weis, and now he grabs Mount Cody. Unfortunately, Cody has no connection to Bill Belichick, which is his only downside as Coach Haley sees it.
6. Seattle Seahawks - Matt Barkley, QB
At first very pleased with himself, Pete Carroll's face turns to fury when told that Barkley is ineligible for this draft...and next year's. "**** it! We already gave him the SUV, too!"
7. Cleveland Browns - Toby Gerhart, RB
After reportedly calling every GM possible and trying to trade down, Mangini reluctantly drafts someone. Since he refuses to play Jerome Harrison, despite mounting evidence that Harrison has talent, Mangini drafts his replacement.
8. Oakland Raiders - Mount Everest, ??
"If someone drafted Mount Cody, then we're going to go even bigger!" Al Davis chuckles, nearly choking on the spit that regurgitates suddenly. "He lacks some mobility, and didn't time very well in the 40, but we're going to give him a shot at defensive tackle. He's obviously got bulk to spare." According to a source, "Maybe this Everest guy can show Jamarcus Russell how to lose a little weight."
9. Buffalo Bills - Bill Cowher, HC
"And you guys thought we weren't going to make a big splash," Buddy Nix cackles. "We had this little thing planned all along." When told that you hire head coaches, you don't draft them, Nix begins swearing.