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Here's something that should be fun and potentially theraputic.
What should I do to my Trent Edwards jersey? I will take the top suggestions from the zone open it to a vote of the final three and tape the outcome.
So come on... what should I do to my Trent Jersey?
I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times."
It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach.
He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.
You could donate it to a small child so it finally fits someone properly.
But seriously, I don't know what to tell you. I still have all my old jerseys, I just don't wear them, nor will I ever again. I burnt my McGahee jersey one night while drinking and it was actually pretty pointless once I sobered up and realized it. Oh well.
If you had 2, you could use one to crap in, and the other to cover it up.
Should have known, way back in 1960 when we drafted Richie Lucas Number 1, that this would be a long, hard ride. But who could have known it would be THIS bad?
Eat about 3 dozen extra hot and crispy buffalo wings with extra hot sauce and wipe your ass with the jersey when you end up with "crap through a screen at 50 yard" diarhea the next day.
I'm conducting this ceremony on Monday after this weekend's game and I'm adding about 15 beers to this formula.
Where else would you rather be than right here right now?
You guys, the solution is so simple. Find the crazy kids who are shooting up the schools and have them shoot people getting off planes from West Africa.
No more school shootings, no more Ebola.
Obama would have thought of this already if he wasn't a pinko commie Nazi queer-loving wetback-loving Kenyan Indonesian Muslim.
I could give it to my dogs as a chew toy? or I could throw it on the lawn and see if they pee on it?
I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times."
It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach.
He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.
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