sdbillsfan2
08-24-2011, 12:34 PM
Football Funnies
I went to the Super Bowl, and when I arrived, I realized that my seat is in the last row. After the game started, I noticed an empty seat right on the fifty-yard line. I made my way to the empty seat and said to the man sitting next to it, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?"
The man replied, "No, actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she died. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been at together since we got married in 1967."
"Well, that's terribly sad. But couldn't you find anyone else to take the seat? A close relative or friend?"
'No," the man replied. "They're all at the funeral." http://www.surfersam.com/smalls/animclap.gif
<center>http://www.surfersam.com/friends/football/nfl7.jpg</center>
The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback and sports analyst.
Unanswered Questions???? OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
I'm the footbal coach around here and don't you remember it. Florida State coach Bill Peterson
All football fans go a little crazy. So how can you tell a real fan? You're a great football fan, if...
You said your wedding vows while watching a football game out of the corner of your eye.
You proposed at a tailgate party.
You asked your wife to have a Caesarian Section, because the baby was due on Super Bowl Sunday.
In preparation for a romantic evening you put on a football helmet.
You did the end zone hustle at your wedding reception.
You dated the team mascot in costume.
Your definition of "getting lucky" is finding a football ticket in your wife's jeans.
Your wife saw your marriage proposal on the stadium scoreboard.
You've ever worn face paint to Sunday church.
You met your wife when she was selling hotdogs at the stadium.
You keep a football playbook in the bathroom.
Your girlfriend used to date most of the players on the team.
Your season tickets cost more than your house.
You have a tattoo of your team logo.
You dream of having sex at half-time... in the stadium.
You have had sex at half-time... in the stadium.
Your children are named Ditka, Heisman and O.J.
Your wedding colors were the same as your team colors.
You've offered to post bail for a football player.
You're definition of "getting lucky" is a seat on the fifty-yard line.
Stadium Food Service catered your wedding.
In preparation for a romantic evening, you ask your wife to wear a cheerleader outfit.
You missed weekend visitation rights because of a football game.
You and your wife stay married for the sake of the bobblehead collection. http://www.surfersam.com/smalls/biggrin.gif
You do "the wave" when you're asleep in bed.
In the school yearbook, you're wearing the team uniform on picture day.
Your prenuptial agreement mentions season tickets.
You named your dog Touchdown.
You have three big screen TV's in the living room for Sunday's games.
You've worn the same shirt on Sundays for seven years.
<center>http://www.surfersam.com/friends/football/cowboys.jpg
http://www.surfersam.com/friends/football.htm
</center>
I went to the Super Bowl, and when I arrived, I realized that my seat is in the last row. After the game started, I noticed an empty seat right on the fifty-yard line. I made my way to the empty seat and said to the man sitting next to it, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?"
The man replied, "No, actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she died. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been at together since we got married in 1967."
"Well, that's terribly sad. But couldn't you find anyone else to take the seat? A close relative or friend?"
'No," the man replied. "They're all at the funeral." http://www.surfersam.com/smalls/animclap.gif
<center>http://www.surfersam.com/friends/football/nfl7.jpg</center>
The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback and sports analyst.
Unanswered Questions???? OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
I'm the footbal coach around here and don't you remember it. Florida State coach Bill Peterson
All football fans go a little crazy. So how can you tell a real fan? You're a great football fan, if...
You said your wedding vows while watching a football game out of the corner of your eye.
You proposed at a tailgate party.
You asked your wife to have a Caesarian Section, because the baby was due on Super Bowl Sunday.
In preparation for a romantic evening you put on a football helmet.
You did the end zone hustle at your wedding reception.
You dated the team mascot in costume.
Your definition of "getting lucky" is finding a football ticket in your wife's jeans.
Your wife saw your marriage proposal on the stadium scoreboard.
You've ever worn face paint to Sunday church.
You met your wife when she was selling hotdogs at the stadium.
You keep a football playbook in the bathroom.
Your girlfriend used to date most of the players on the team.
Your season tickets cost more than your house.
You have a tattoo of your team logo.
You dream of having sex at half-time... in the stadium.
You have had sex at half-time... in the stadium.
Your children are named Ditka, Heisman and O.J.
Your wedding colors were the same as your team colors.
You've offered to post bail for a football player.
You're definition of "getting lucky" is a seat on the fifty-yard line.
Stadium Food Service catered your wedding.
In preparation for a romantic evening, you ask your wife to wear a cheerleader outfit.
You missed weekend visitation rights because of a football game.
You and your wife stay married for the sake of the bobblehead collection. http://www.surfersam.com/smalls/biggrin.gif
You do "the wave" when you're asleep in bed.
In the school yearbook, you're wearing the team uniform on picture day.
Your prenuptial agreement mentions season tickets.
You named your dog Touchdown.
You have three big screen TV's in the living room for Sunday's games.
You've worn the same shirt on Sundays for seven years.
<center>http://www.surfersam.com/friends/football/cowboys.jpg
http://www.surfersam.com/friends/football.htm
</center>