Why your team sucks - BillsZone.com - Buffalo Bills Fan Zone

The King

Without me it's just Awe so

Join Date: Jun 2004

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Why your team sucks

09-03-2013, 02:38 PM

So everyone is raving about these articles "Why Your Team Sucks" from Deadspin, but I don't get it. They're long winded, and generally the only funny part is the fan contribution at the end. So I started thinking about it, I can tell you why your team sucks in a sentence. So here we go.

Each Day I'll cover a division.

NFC West

Seattle Seahawks: Your coach spends more time on his hair than your quarterback.

San Francisco 49er’s: Fact – your coach had heart surgery, and that was before he lost the Super Bowl.

St. Louis Rams: The lead article on your team website is this.

Arizona Cardinals: 90% of your “fans” would rather attend a class on line, than your stadium sharing it’s name.

I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?"
"Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet.
You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times."
It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach.
He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.
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