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Uggs rolls out their new line of Brady hats, complete with human hair. They also smell like cucumber melon.I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?"
"Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet.
You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times."
It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach.
He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.
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INFOMERCIAL/As Seen on TV:
Carry the Brady Pass with you everywhere!
- Do you have days in which your masculinity is vapid and steadily on the decline?
- Do you cry weepy-weepy tears when your peers praise your accolades - or criticize your faults - or just because its Tuesday?
- Do you dance like a heavy breasted cheerleader that often initiates anal sex?
- Are all of your closest friends middle-aged men that carry yellow hankies and prefer wearing black & white stripped blouses?
If you said yes to any of these questions or more, then YOU too can own the Brady Pass! The next time anyone questions your masculinity, just pull out our Brady Pass and say....
"I'm a 'man's man'!! And I carry my Brady Pass with me everywhere!!!"
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- Do you have days in which your masculinity is vapid and steadily on the decline?
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