Forward_Lateral
09-16-2016, 11:26 AM
Dearest Favorite, Beloved NFL Team of mine,
I've loved you with all of my heart and soul for the past 20 or so seasons. I've been optimistic, even in the roughest of times, like when Todd Collins was QB. I've cheered for guys like Andre Reed all the way to Robert Woods. You were a big part of my life for a long, long time. We've had some great times (31-0 over New England to start the season) and some bad times (Blowing the Cowboys Monday Night Game). Through thick and thin, we've stuck together. Until now.
You've abused the hell out of me. My psyche is broken. I no longer enjoy the game of football like I used to. I no longer scream and yell in anger, nor do I jump for joy during Sunday afternoons. I sit there, emotionless for the most part, with a blank Rex Ryan like stare. Last night was the final straw. The last jab of the knife. The pounding of the last nail into the coffin that our relationship has become.
Even after last Sunday I had a tiny fraction of optimism left. A hope that this wouldn't be another mediocre 7-8 win season. A hope for playoffs (insert Jim Mora Sr rant here). It's been 17, going on 18 years since you morons made it to the playoffs. I was 19 years old the last time it happened. I had my first date with my now wife of 10 years on the day of the Music City Miracle (hmmm...wait a minute....). Yesterday, though, was the worst showing I have ever witnessed as a Bills fan. Worse than JP Losman vs Atlanta. Worse than the Blizzard Bowl when you lost to Cleveland 2-0 (or whatever the score was). Yesterday was like watching a child repeatedly try to ram a square block into a round hole. Over. And Over. AND OVER. Watching you guys get torched almost every play was not only frustrating, but it was almost hilarious. I kept wondering why you wouldn't make an adjustment and, I don't know, maybe double cover the guys who were running 9 routes every other play. It never happened though, and the same results kept happening. Even a 2 year old learns not to touch the hot stove after one curious burn. Not you guys though. Rex's ego won't let him change things. In game adjustments? HA!!! This is a vaunted Rex Ryan Defense that doesn't need adjusting!
Anyways, I would just like to end this letter by saying thank you. Thank you for wasting 20 years worth of Sundays from September to Dec. Thank you for being the same crappy offense for the past 15 or so of those years. Thank you for raising my blood pressure and lowering my life expectancy.
And don't worry, I will not be looking for another team. You've left me far too broken and hurt.
Signed,
Adam "Forward" Lateral
I've loved you with all of my heart and soul for the past 20 or so seasons. I've been optimistic, even in the roughest of times, like when Todd Collins was QB. I've cheered for guys like Andre Reed all the way to Robert Woods. You were a big part of my life for a long, long time. We've had some great times (31-0 over New England to start the season) and some bad times (Blowing the Cowboys Monday Night Game). Through thick and thin, we've stuck together. Until now.
You've abused the hell out of me. My psyche is broken. I no longer enjoy the game of football like I used to. I no longer scream and yell in anger, nor do I jump for joy during Sunday afternoons. I sit there, emotionless for the most part, with a blank Rex Ryan like stare. Last night was the final straw. The last jab of the knife. The pounding of the last nail into the coffin that our relationship has become.
Even after last Sunday I had a tiny fraction of optimism left. A hope that this wouldn't be another mediocre 7-8 win season. A hope for playoffs (insert Jim Mora Sr rant here). It's been 17, going on 18 years since you morons made it to the playoffs. I was 19 years old the last time it happened. I had my first date with my now wife of 10 years on the day of the Music City Miracle (hmmm...wait a minute....). Yesterday, though, was the worst showing I have ever witnessed as a Bills fan. Worse than JP Losman vs Atlanta. Worse than the Blizzard Bowl when you lost to Cleveland 2-0 (or whatever the score was). Yesterday was like watching a child repeatedly try to ram a square block into a round hole. Over. And Over. AND OVER. Watching you guys get torched almost every play was not only frustrating, but it was almost hilarious. I kept wondering why you wouldn't make an adjustment and, I don't know, maybe double cover the guys who were running 9 routes every other play. It never happened though, and the same results kept happening. Even a 2 year old learns not to touch the hot stove after one curious burn. Not you guys though. Rex's ego won't let him change things. In game adjustments? HA!!! This is a vaunted Rex Ryan Defense that doesn't need adjusting!
Anyways, I would just like to end this letter by saying thank you. Thank you for wasting 20 years worth of Sundays from September to Dec. Thank you for being the same crappy offense for the past 15 or so of those years. Thank you for raising my blood pressure and lowering my life expectancy.
And don't worry, I will not be looking for another team. You've left me far too broken and hurt.
Signed,
Adam "Forward" Lateral