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Ted Washington's so big...
They named a state after the imprint of his butt cheeks when he sat down...
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OK, what the heck, I'll bite:
He is so fat...
..He puts his belt on with a boomerang
..A picture of him fell off the wall
..his liscense says, picture continued on the other side
..even his shadow has stretch marks
..he has to keep pesos in one pocket and yen in another.
..he can lay down or stand up and his height never changes
..his belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters
..at the zoo the elephants start throwing him peanuts
..when he ordered a "My Size Meal" at McDonald's they gave him a dinosaur! -
Thaaaat's what I'm talkin' about
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...his butt cheeks are in different zip codes
...more chins than a Chinese phone book
...you can play the washboard on the back of his neck
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