Very Funny ESPN "Prediction" Column Here

[LABillzFan]

This is exceptionally funny. How can you not find something like this funny:

Plummer's career as a plumber will last only one week however, as the Jets will sign him to replace Vinny Testaverde, whose advanced age causes him to forget the plays called during the walk from the huddle to the line of scrimmage. Jake will be booed so mercilessly by Jets fans that Richard Todd will begin to feel good about himself.

A most excellent read (http://espn.go.com/page2/s/fritz/030903.html)

[The_Philster]

Al Davis will file a class-action suit against every other team in the NFL on the grounds that they are trying to win. "They are infringing upon the spirit of my copyrighted slogan, 'Just win, baby'," Davis will say. "How can we just win if they just beat us? They're all clearly in violation of copyright law and we expect to immediately be awarded the Super Bowl trophy from last year, and that everyone from the Tampa Bay Buccaneers will be thrown in prison." After three days of deliberations, the jury will return and give Davis the death penalty.

:rofl: I love it!!!

[Gunzlingr]

" Deion Sanders will be sued by the owner of "Get Your Pimp On Clothes" when he refuses to pay for the custom-made purple velvet suit and matching hat he ordered. Citing his ongoing conversations with Jesus, Deion will tell the court that He thinks purple sends the wrong message to children, and that the outfit should be re-ordered in either lavender or avocado. The owner of the store will counter that Jesus told him that He has no idea why Deion keeps spreading the word that He is telling him he shouldn't pay for things, and is starting to wish He'd never passed along all that God-given athletic talent to him."

[Billz_fan]

:laughter:

Before a Sept. 15 game against the Giants, Cowboys head coach Bill Parcells will hold a press conference and officially respond to Jeremy Shockey's allegation that he is a "homo."



Would Jeremy Shockey have to go on IR because of cooties?
After simply stating, "I know you are, but what am I?" Bill will refuse to take any questions and will storm off the podium. After a 35-3 rout by Big Blue, a jubilant Jeremy Shockey will respond to the Tuna's response with a defiant "I know you are, but what am I? No backsies."


This attempt to end the silliness will put Parcells in quite a bind. Bill will have no choice but to respect the "no backsies" proclamation from Shockey and remain silent. However, after the Giants pound the 'Boys again on Dec. 21, Parcells will come undone during a post-game interview and declare that Shockey has cooties.


Amidst the furor (and a 3-13 record), Parcells will retire again at the end of the season, then un-retire to take the job in Tampa two days after the Bucs fire Jon Gruden. Gruden will take over for Joe Torre as manager of the New York Yankees. Warren Sapp will start at third base for the Bombers in '04 and become the second largest infielder in the history of major league baseball. Behind Mo Vaughn.