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BillsOwnAll
01-14-2004, 03:13 PM
please just give it what you think it deserves. i had to write a persuavive essay on something i had to wirite an opening/closeng 3 reasons why its bad 1 para graph why its good and defend it. please odnt joke here. here it is.

Persuasive essay


Smoking cigarettes are bad for you and should be illegal throughout the world.. It can give can you cancer and cause harm to the people around you. It causes harm to the environment too. Cigarettes can lead to more harmful drugs also.

There are many reasons smoking is bad for you. The smoke that you breathe in goes to your lungs and after many years it causes you to have a hard time breathing and can be a serious problem when you get lung cancer. About 4.84 million people die a year worldwide form smoking related dieses. (http://www.no-smoking.org/sept03/09-12-03-1.html 1-10-04.). Half of that total was people from developed countries. It can also cause dental problems such gingivitis. It can cause you to lose your voice box and have to have surgery just to be able to talk. Smoking cigarettes is the leading preventable cause of death. Smoking cigarettes is a serious health issue in the world.
If you smoke a cigarette you aren’t just kill yourself, your hurting the people around you. All the smoke you exhale gets breathed in by other people, in other words “second hand smoke”. Second hand smoke is bad for kids whose parents smoke around them. It causes them to want to start smoking and starts killing their lungs at a young age. Second hand smoke harms children the worst. Over 4000 babies die in the US each year from smoking related causes from there parents.. Many children whose parents smoke develop pneumonia and wheezing more often then children’s who parents don’t smoke. (http://www.stopsmokingsupport.com/hurting.htm 1-13-04). Smoking can take off up to 12 years of your life. If you die 12 years before expected that limits your chances of your grandchildren being able to see you as they grow up. Smoking causes many bad things for other people.
Smoking has a lot of environmental issues also. Smoking causes 33% of all wild fires because of people throwing away there cigarettes. It also is the cause to many car accidents, form people tiring to light their cigarettes while driving or looking for their cigarettes. (http://www.stopsmokingsupport.com/hurting.htm 1-13-04). Smoking is a main cause of liter too. When people drive, walk, or smoke anywhere than have nowhere to put their butts they throw them on the ground. That cause harm to many things. Some of the butts get washed into lakes or streams and kill off some fish that try to eat them. Some butts get picked up by birds who use them for nest and get killed by the chemicals in them. The chemicals in the smoke that comes form the cigarette also cause harm to the air and o-zone layer. The o-zone layer is slowly depleting and smoking is a main reason. Smoking doesn’t just you it hurts the environment.

Some people say smoking relives depression. But really it just adds to it. It relives depression for you when you smoke the cigarette but when you get older and are in the hospital when your 60 it adds to the depression. People also say how its their life and they’ll do what they want. But its really not just there life it cause harm to everyone and everything when they smoke. They are not many arguments why smoking is good because its not.
Smoking should be illegal and none should smoke. It kills you and kills other people. Its hurts your pets and the wild life around you. It causes harm to your family and other people around you. It can cause your kids to start smoking also. Smoking is the number 1 preventable cause of death.

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 03:15 PM
What grade are you in?

BillsOwnAll
01-14-2004, 03:16 PM
10th. college prep class.

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 03:16 PM
Even for a 4th or 5th grade paper, I would give it a D-.

BillsOwnAll
01-14-2004, 03:16 PM
BTW i indented on the paragraphs dont know why it didnt indent when i posted it.

BillsOwnAll
01-14-2004, 03:17 PM
Originally posted by billsfanone
Even for a 4th or 5th grade paper, I would give it a D-.
its peopel like you who piss me off.

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 03:17 PM
Originally posted by BillsOwnAll
10th. college prep class.

Fix the grammar!

It can also cause dental problems such gingivitis.

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 03:17 PM
Originally posted by BillsOwnAll
its peopel like you who piss me off.

You wanted honesty. Take your time and re-write it.

BillsOwnAll
01-14-2004, 03:17 PM
Originally posted by billsfanone
Fix the grammar!

It can also cause dental problems such gingivitis.

see thats the help i need form you. damn spell checker didnt catch that.

BillsOwnAll
01-14-2004, 03:18 PM
Originally posted by billsfanone
You wanted honesty. Take your time and re-write it.
RE WRITE IT?!?!?!?!? are you nuts.

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 03:19 PM
Awkward sentence structure:

It relives depression for you when you smoke the cigarette but when you get older and are in the hospital when your 60 it adds to the depression.

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 03:19 PM
Originally posted by BillsOwnAll
RE WRITE IT?!?!?!?!? are you nuts.

Then accept your d- with pride.

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 03:20 PM
That cause harm to many things.

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 03:20 PM
Smoking doesn’t just you it hurts the environment.

I would give you an F!

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 03:21 PM
Its hurts your pets and the wild life around you.

Mr. Miyagi
01-14-2004, 03:21 PM
Hang on. I'll read it later. Let me print it out and I'll read it over a few smokes. :smoke:

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 03:23 PM
Smoking causes 33% of all wild fires because of people throwing away there cigarettes.

Do you take a little bus to school? If so, I'll give you a c-.

The Spaz
01-14-2004, 03:23 PM
Take this wole thing and copy and paste it into Microsoft Word it will help!:up:

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 03:25 PM
Many children whose parents smoke develop pneumonia and wheezing more often then children’s who parents don’t smoke.

Dude, every sentence if f'ed up!

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 03:25 PM
Originally posted by The Spaz
Take this wole thing and copy and paste it into Microsoft Word it will help!:up:

Drop out of school and take up a trade.

Patrick76777
01-14-2004, 03:26 PM
Hey, want me to write it for you? I'll do all your school work! And I'll only charge $20 a paper!

BillsOwnAll
01-14-2004, 03:27 PM
Originally posted by The Spaz
Take this wole thing and copy and paste it into Microsoft Word it will help!:up: its in word...word spellcheck sux

BillsOwnAll
01-14-2004, 03:28 PM
Originally posted by billsfanone
Many children whose parents smoke develop pneumonia and wheezing more often then children’s who parents don’t smoke.

Dude, every sentence if f'ed up! whats worng with that sentence?

lordofgun
01-14-2004, 03:28 PM
whose

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 03:28 PM
Originally posted by BillsOwnAll
its in word...word spellcheck sux

It's only as good as its user.

yle
01-14-2004, 03:29 PM
Don't forget that many teachers smoke, so you will probably fail just for pissing her off.

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 03:30 PM
Originally posted by BillsOwnAll
whats worng with that sentence?

A lot.

eyedog
01-14-2004, 03:30 PM
Go to your counselor and get into a finger painting class. Now. Go on run along.

lordofgun
01-14-2004, 03:31 PM
Originally posted by yledust
Don't forget that many teachers smoke, so you will probably fail just for pissing her off.

:rofl: I'd smoke a lot more than cigs if BOA was in my 10th grade class.

yle
01-14-2004, 03:34 PM
Originally posted by lordofgun
:rofl: I'd smoke a lot more than cigs if BOA was in my 10th grade class.

That may be his only hope to pass.

THATHURMANATOR
01-14-2004, 03:37 PM
Originally posted by billsfanone
Many children whose parents smoke develop pneumonia and wheezing more often then children’s who parents don’t smoke.

Dude, every sentence if f'ed up!

That is one fd up sentence....

.....children's who parents.......

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 03:39 PM
Then vs than
Many children... ...more often

lordofgun
01-14-2004, 03:41 PM
Originally posted by THATHURMANATOR
That is one fd up sentence....

.....children's who parents.......

:eek: When THURM notices mistakes, you know it's bad.

mchurchfie
01-14-2004, 03:43 PM
Originally posted by BillsOwnAll
BTW i indented on the paragraphs dont know why it didnt indent when i posted it.

That's why Professor BF1 flunked your butt the first time around BOA...he's a real stickler for indentation. Now get it right or start coming to the realization that your lifetime occupation will require you to wear a hairnet for the rest of your life!:hammeru::D

mchurchfie
01-14-2004, 03:45 PM
Originally posted by billsfanone
Then accept your d- with pride.
:rofl:

THATHURMANATOR
01-14-2004, 03:46 PM
Originally posted by lordofgun


:eek: When THURM notices mistakes, you know it's bad.

:sadwalk:

ticatfan
01-14-2004, 03:49 PM
Billsownall.don't let bf1 get you down,he is a little hard on you but he is right.You got all the facts ,but it sounds like a 10th grader.Your approach needs work.

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 03:55 PM
Originally posted by ticatfan
Billsownall.don't let bf1 get you down,he is a little hard on you but he is right.You got all the facts ,but it sounds like a 10th grader.Your approach needs work.

Get down? I'm trying to motivate him!

BillsOwnAll
01-14-2004, 03:56 PM
ok...i revised it

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 03:56 PM
If I was your teacher, I wouldn’t only fail you, but I would subject you to viscous ridicule.

mchurchfie
01-14-2004, 03:56 PM
Originally posted by lordofgun
:eek: When THURM notices mistakes, you know it's bad.

That is a very disturbing thought.:confused::eek:

Patrick76777
01-14-2004, 03:57 PM
let's see the revision.

BillsOwnAll
01-14-2004, 03:57 PM
Smoking cigarettes are bad for you and should be illegal throughout the world. It can give can you cancer and cause harm to the people around you. It causes harm to the environment too. Cigarettes can lead to more harmful drugs also.

There are many reasons smoking is bad for you. The smoke that you breathe in goes to your lungs and after many years it causes you to have a hard time breathing and can be a serious problem when you get lung cancer. About 4.84 million people die a year worldwide form smoking related dieses. (http://www.no-smoking.org/sept03/09-12-03-1.html 1-10-04.). Half of that total was people from developed countries. It can also cause dental problems such as gingivitis. It can cause you to lose your voice box and have to have surgery just to be able to talk. Smoking cigarettes is the leading preventable cause of death. Smoking cigarettes is a serious health issue in the world.
If you smoke a cigarette you aren’t just killing yourself, your hurting the people around you. All the smoke you exhale gets breathed in by other people, in other words “second hand smoke”. Second hand smoke is bad for kids whose parents smoke around them. It causes them to want to start smoking and starts killing their lungs at a young age. Second hand smoke harms children the worst. Over 4000 babies die in the US each year from smoking related causes from their parents. Many children whose parents smoke develop pneumonia and wheezing more often then children’s who parents don’t smoke. (http://www.stopsmokingsupport.com/hurting.htm 1-13-04). Smoking can take off up to 12 years of your life. If you die 12 years before expected that limits your chances of your grandchildren being able to see you as they grow up. Smoking causes many bad things for other people.
Smoking has a lot of environmental issues also. Smoking causes 33% of all wild fires because of people throwing away their cigarettes. It also is the cause to many car accidents, form people trying to light their cigarettes while driving or looking for their cigarettes. (http://www.stopsmokingsupport.com/hurting.htm 1-13-04). Smoking is a main cause of liter too. When people drive, walk, or smoke anywhere than have nowhere to put their butts they throw them on the ground. That cause harm to many things. Some of the butts get washed into lakes or streams and kill off some fish that try to eat them. Birds that use them for nest and get killed by the chemicals in them pick up some butts. The chemicals in the smoke that comes form the cigarette also cause harm to the air and o-zone layer. The o-zone layer is slowly depleting and smoking is a main reason. Smoking doesn’t just hurt you it hurts the environment.

Some people say smoking relieves depression. But really it just adds to it. It relives depression for you when you smoke the cigarette but when you get older and are in the hospital when your 60 it adds to the depression. People also say how it’s their life and they’ll do what they want. But it’s really not just their life it can cause harm to everyone and everything when they smoke. There are not many arguments why smoking is good because its not.
Smoking should be illegal and none should smoke. It kills you and kills other people. Its hurts your pets and the wild life around you. It causes harm to your family and other people around you. It can cause your kids to start smoking also. Smoking is the number 1 preventable cause of death.





it was printed alreayd i think its good.

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 03:57 PM
Originally posted by BillsOwnAll
ok...i revised it


What are dieses?

BillsOwnAll
01-14-2004, 03:58 PM
Originally posted by billsfanone
If I was your teacher, I wouldn’t only fail you, but I would subject you to viscous ridicule. thats why your not my teacher

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 03:59 PM
your hurting the people

Should be

You're hurting people

There are still a million mistakes.

Patrick76777
01-14-2004, 03:59 PM
it's better

THATHURMANATOR
01-14-2004, 03:59 PM
Originally posted by mchurchfie


That is a very disturbing thought.:confused::eek:

WTF I am a college grad!!!! :guitar:

BillsOwnAll
01-14-2004, 03:59 PM
Originally posted by ticatfan
Billsownall.don't let bf1 get you down,he is a little hard on you but he is right.You got all the facts ,but it sounds like a 10th grader.Your approach needs work. i just look at his grammar corrections...if i could get in the No TOS TWZ. thne id lay smackdown on him but. right now ihe doesnt bother me lol. he doesnt understand this isnt a collge essay. well let him thinks what he wants hehe.

BillsOwnAll
01-14-2004, 04:00 PM
Originally posted by THATHURMANATOR
WTF I am a college grad!!!! :guitar: what college? where you ina ferternity?

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 04:00 PM
Is it o-zone or ozone?

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 04:01 PM
Originally posted by Patrick76777
it's better

From an f to a d- maybe.

BillsOwnAll
01-14-2004, 04:02 PM
reading over the what this essay says........i donot see anywhere on the rubric nything about grammar mistakes.... so if it is readable WHICH IT IS. i had a fellow 10th grader read it he said he read it fine. so its a good essay should get me a low b high C.

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 04:02 PM
There are not many arguments why smoking is good because its not.

It's not its.

BillsOwnAll
01-14-2004, 04:03 PM
Originally posted by billsfanone
From an f to a d- maybe.
ok i sick of you talking **** about it go post somewhere eklse please.
for someone who thinks its so bad you musta read it 10 timnes already. maybe you can learn something from it!

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 04:03 PM
Originally posted by BillsOwnAll
reading over the what this essay says........i donot see anywhere on the rubric nything about grammar mistakes.... so if it is readable WHICH IT IS. i had a fellow 10th grader read it he said he read it fine. so its a good essay should get me a low b high C.


It's not readable. It's laughable though.

If I was your teacher, I would spit on you.

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 04:04 PM
Originally posted by BillsOwnAll
ok i sick of you talking **** about it go post somewhere eklse please.
for someone who thinks its so bad you musta read it 10 timnes already. maybe you can learn something from it!


Yeah, smoking is bad. I get it. I'm just trying to help you. Consider me the Bill Parcells of essays.

BillsOwnAll
01-14-2004, 04:05 PM
Originally posted by billsfanone
It's not readable. It's laughable though.

If I was your teacher, I would spit on you. my teacher is a 27 year old women with a fro!. she wont spit on me she doesnt even yell EVER.

mchurchfie
01-14-2004, 04:07 PM
Originally posted by THATHURMANATOR
WTF I am a college grad!!!! :guitar:

:couch:

mchurchfie
01-14-2004, 04:08 PM
Originally posted by BillsOwnAll
my teacher is a 27 year old women with a fro!. she wont spit on me she doesnt even yell EVER.

Must be the :afro:

mchurchfie
01-14-2004, 04:09 PM
Originally posted by billsfanone
Yeah, smoking is bad. I get it. I'm just trying to help you. Consider me the Bill Parcells of essays.
:lol:

THATHURMANATOR
01-14-2004, 04:41 PM
Originally posted by BillsOwnAll
what college? where you ina ferternity?

Slippery Rock University
No Fraternity...

BAM
01-14-2004, 05:08 PM
gets my vote for worst grammar award

BillsOwnAll
01-14-2004, 05:09 PM
did you read the revised one?:pimp:

Dozerdog
01-14-2004, 05:19 PM
Listen to BF1-

He proof reads papers for a living.




You have a choice, BOA. Get upset when people point out the 500 mistakes, or learn from it. "It's readable" is a long way from "It will pass" .

Dozerdog
01-14-2004, 05:20 PM
But a big :up: for you to come here and ask for help. Think of us as 50 substitute parents.


How about you and Uncle Dozer light one up over a few beers?

BillsOwnAll
01-14-2004, 05:23 PM
Originally posted by Dozerdog
But a big :up: for you to come here and ask for help. Think of us as 50 substitute parents.


How about you and Uncle Dozer light one up over a few beers? id rather keep that thought outta my head......

BillsOwnAll
01-14-2004, 06:55 PM
Originally posted by Dozerdog

You have a choice, BOA. Get upset when people point out the 500 mistakes, or learn from it. "It's readable" is a long way from "It will pass" . but bf1 doesnt understand im in 10th grade :).

The_Philster
01-14-2004, 07:00 PM
Originally posted by BillsOwnAll
but bf1 doesnt understand im in 10th grade :).

In all honesty, and not to be mean, your grammar skills should be better than that in 10th grade though I found a lot fewer errors in the second version than I did the first. That shows you're making noticeable improvements. You did do a good job with the research though :up:

BillsOwnAll
01-14-2004, 07:01 PM
Originally posted by The_Philster
In all honesty, and not to be mean, your grammar skills should be better than that in 10th grade. You did a good job with the research though :up:
grammar sucks. i got a 73 on a grammar test today. thats not that bad.

The_Philster
01-14-2004, 07:02 PM
Originally posted by BillsOwnAll
grammar sucks. i got a 73 on a grammar test today. thats not that bad.

Yeah...but you want to always strive to do the best. Don't settle for a 73...work on earning that 93 or better. :up:

BillsOwnAll
01-14-2004, 07:04 PM
Originally posted by The_Philster
Yeah...but you want to always strive to do the best. Don't settle for a 73...work on earning that 93 or better. :up: LOL you cant just get a 93 ........its not that easy you have to do more than study...you have to be natruallly smart.

Dozerdog
01-14-2004, 07:05 PM
That's just 4 above failure- I want to see you get at least an 80-

BillsOwnAll
01-14-2004, 07:07 PM
a 69 aint failing. 59 and below is failing.

honey
01-14-2004, 07:18 PM
BOA, I could go through your revision and still find bunches of errors grammatically and spelling-wise, but I won't - would take too long. Your summations are ok, but you should maybe check out the new studies on second-hand smoke. ;)

Ummmm, can't resist - check out your first sentence. I think you mean "Smoking cigarettes IS bad for you..." not "are" bad for you. :)

The Spaz
01-14-2004, 07:18 PM
Originally posted by BillsOwnAll
a 69 aint failing. 59 and below is failing.

The last year I was in High Scholl failure was a 70 or below.

RedEyE
01-14-2004, 07:24 PM
:rofl:

I'd like to nominate this thread into the BFZ HOF. I'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts.

mybills
01-14-2004, 07:39 PM
poor BOA! :(

Smoking doesn't lead to other drugs...people do. ;)

SabreEleven
01-14-2004, 07:40 PM
Originally posted by Dozerdog
But a big :up: for you to come here and ask for help. Think of us as 50 substitute parents.


How about you and Uncle Dozer light one up over a few beers?

Keep your pants on around "Uncle Dozer" if you get my drift

mybills
01-14-2004, 08:15 PM
Hey BOA, I just had my 11th grade daughter read this. Here's what she had to say.

1. It's too repetitive, and you have at least 10 sentences that start with the word 'smoking'.
2. Grammar & spelling are part of EVERY rubric.
3. You combined facts & opinions, where the latter should only be in your argument.
4. Agree's that it'll only get you a low B or C grade.

lordofgun
01-14-2004, 08:17 PM
Originally posted by RedEyE
:rofl:

I'd like to nominate this thread into the BFZ HOF. I'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts.

I second.

Dozerdog
01-14-2004, 08:30 PM
Originally posted by mybills
Hey BOA, I just had my 11th grade daughter read this. Here's what she had to say.

1. It's too repetitive, and you have at least 10 sentences that start with the word 'smoking'.
2. Grammar & spelling are part of EVERY rubric.
3. You combined facts & opinions, where the latter should only be in your argument.
4. Agree's that it'll only get you a low B or C grade.

She single?

Maybe she can hook up with BOA- :up:

Voltron
01-14-2004, 08:34 PM
OK this is a Fragment


Its hurts your pets and the wild life around you

mybills
01-14-2004, 08:36 PM
NOT! :plunge: :snicker:

Voltron
01-14-2004, 08:36 PM
Have you ever heard of a thesaurus?


No it is not a Dinosaur :snicker:

Voltron
01-14-2004, 08:51 PM
OK please don't kill me guys. I have never been a very good writer but I can BS with the best of them :snicker:

BOA I have rewritten the opening paragraph so you can see what a Thesaurus can do for you. I won't promise the grammar is perfect but I think this flows much better and is less repetitive.


Smoking cigarettes has been proven to be detrimental to your health and the health of others. It is this writer’s opinion that it should be illegal throughout the world. It has been confirmed to cause cancer in a majority of people that smoke. Smokers not only hurt themselves, some studies have shown that it may cause asthma and other respiratory problems in children and adults. Cigarette butts littered all over the side of the road can cause damage to wildlife and the environment as well.

yle
01-14-2004, 09:18 PM
Originally posted by Voltron
OK please don't kill me guys. I have never been a very good writer but I can BS with the best of them :snicker:

BOA I have rewritten the opening paragraph so you can see what a Thesaurus can do for you. I won't promise the grammar is perfect but I think this flows much better and is less repetitive.


Smoking cigarettes has been proven to be detrimental to your health and the health of others. It is this writer’s opinion that it should be illegal throughout the world. It has been confirmed to cause cancer in a majority of people that smoke. Smokers not only hurt themselves, some studies have shown that it may cause asthma and other respiratory problems in children and adults. Cigarette butts littered all over the side of the road can cause damage to wildlife and the environment as well.


There is NO way she'll buy that he wrote that.

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 09:24 PM
Originally posted by mybills
Hey BOA, I just had my 11th grade daughter read this. Here's what she had to say.

1. It's too repetitive, and you have at least 10 sentences that start with the word 'smoking'.
2. Grammar & spelling are part of EVERY rubric.
3. You combined facts & opinions, where the latter should only be in your argument.
4. Agree's that it'll only get you a low B or C grade.

What BOA Reads:

blah, blah, blah hmmmmm 11th grade... I wonder of she's hot. blah, blah, blah

Voltron
01-14-2004, 09:31 PM
Originally posted by yledust



There is NO way she'll buy that he wrote that.

I know but I wanted to show him what a Thesaurus can do for you :D


Hell I don't care if he copies it because he will have a decent opening paragraph and the rest will look like crap so his teacher will know he didn't do his own work. :idunno:

socalfan
01-14-2004, 10:11 PM
Even if you were to fix up the entire essay, the teacher would still know that BOA didn't write it because it wouldn't resemble anything that he has ever written in his life.

lordofgun
01-14-2004, 10:17 PM
F

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 10:18 PM
Originally posted by lordofgun
F

Wanna explain why?

lordofgun
01-14-2004, 10:22 PM
Originally posted by billsfanone
Wanna explain why?

I liked it better before you screwed it up. :mad:

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 10:23 PM
Originally posted by BillsOwnAll
my teacher is a 27 year old women with a fro!. she wont spit on me she doesnt even yell EVER.

She's way too lenient.

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 10:23 PM
Originally posted by lordofgun
I liked it better before you screwed it up. :mad:

It's NOT supposed to be funny!

lordofgun
01-14-2004, 10:33 PM
Originally posted by billsfanone
It's NOT supposed to be funny!

I still liked it better before. If I was a teacher, I'd give him a B just for making me laugh so hard.

But if he made me pee my pants from laughing so hard, I might drop it to a C.

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 10:41 PM
Originally posted by lordofgun
I still liked it better before. If I was a teacher, I'd give him a B just for making me laugh so hard.

But if he made me pee my pants from laughing so hard, I might drop it to a C.

I see your point. I'm just trying to help the kid out so he isn't the laughing stock of the entire 10th grade. So in the secret teacher meetings, the teacher doesn't whip out the paper and share it with the rest of the faculty so they can laugh their butts off about how terrible it is. I’m not that mean to sit back and allow him to be ridiculed. To be mocked at private parties. Where is your compassion LOG?

lordofgun
01-14-2004, 10:43 PM
Originally posted by billsfanone
To be mocked at private parties.

That's a sentence fragment, sir.

F

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 10:44 PM
Originally posted by lordofgun
That's a sentence fragment, sir.

F

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

lordofgun
01-14-2004, 10:45 PM
Originally posted by billsfanone
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love you.

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 10:45 PM
Originally posted by lordofgun
I love you.

I'm fond of you.

lordofgun
01-14-2004, 10:49 PM
Why can't you just say it?

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 10:49 PM
Originally posted by lordofgun
Why can't you just say it?

I've been hurt before.

lordofgun
01-14-2004, 10:50 PM
That was a long time ago.

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 10:51 PM
But I still have so much emotional baggage.

lordofgun
01-14-2004, 10:54 PM
Some scars never heal. :(

I just want you to know that I'll never hurt you. You can trust me.

LtBillsFan66
01-14-2004, 10:56 PM
Originally posted by lordofgun
Some scars never heal. :(

I just want you to know that I'll never hurt you. You can trust me.

ok, I love you LOG. In a manly heterosexual way.

lordofgun
01-14-2004, 11:06 PM
Originally posted by billsfanone
ok, I love you LOG. In a manly heterosexual way.

That's all I wanted to hear.

G'night Johnboy.

RedEyE
01-14-2004, 11:37 PM
You're freaking me out, Nug!

BillC
01-14-2004, 11:56 PM
I could use a speech writer like you- I'm thinking of campaigning in Kentucky - you can reach my audience.

SoCalBillsFan
01-15-2004, 12:57 AM
It's clear that the "No Child Left Behind" policy is poorly named and a complete failure...

Đ
01-15-2004, 05:16 AM
Well, I hope your SAT's are good because from the look of this essay, you're going to community college, or worse, Arizona State.

honey
01-15-2004, 05:31 AM
Just one more thing that isn't entirely factual in the essay. Smoking does not cause gingivitis, it only exacerbates it. My dental hygenist just told me that, that's how I know. ;)

Đ
01-15-2004, 05:36 AM
Glory, glory hallitosis...

yle
01-15-2004, 06:14 AM
Originally posted by honey
Just one more thing that isn't entirely factual in the essay. Smoking does not cause gingivitis, it only exacerbates it. My dental hygenist just told me that, that's how I know. ;)

She works early. I can't call mine before 9am.

mybills
01-15-2004, 07:13 AM
Originally posted by honey
Just one more thing that isn't entirely factual in the essay. Smoking does not cause gingivitis, it only exacerbates it. My dental hygenist just told me that, that's how I know. ;)

and not every kid ends up smoking because their parent does. That was the other comment that my daughter made. That's one of the reasons why she told him to seperate facts from opinions. ;)

LtBillsFan66
09-08-2006, 10:11 PM
How isn't this thread in the hall of fame category?

SABURZFAN
09-08-2006, 10:24 PM
How isn't this thread in the hall of fame category?


probably because i didn't post in this thread until now.

LtBillsFan66
09-08-2006, 10:25 PM
Did you get my neg?

LtFinFan66
09-08-2006, 10:34 PM
you need at least one Fin Fan post to push it over the edge:up:

SABURZFAN
09-08-2006, 11:45 PM
Did you get my neg?


yeah...thanks. :up:

Discotrish
09-09-2006, 08:05 AM
BOA, I could go through your revision and still find bunches of errors grammatically and spelling-wise, but I won't - would take too long. Your summations are ok, but you should maybe check out the new studies on second-hand smoke. ;)

Ummmm, can't resist - check out your first sentence. I think you mean "Smoking cigarettes IS bad for you..." not "are" bad for you. :)

I was wondering when someone would point out that there's already an error in the 3rd word of the essay. Plus it is very generous of Honey to comment on this in a friendly-like way, considering the overall thesis.

Maybe we should just re-write the essay, each taking a paragraph?

The least painful way to improve your grammar is to start reading books for fun. You can pick topics you like, fiction or non-fiction, and you will pretty much be exposed to correct grammar naturally.

"For years the deadly tendrils of cigarette smoke wafted through most American homes and businesses. That began to change with the Surgeon General's report..."

Patti

mybills
09-09-2006, 08:07 AM
wow, this is a blast from the past!

Discotrish
09-09-2006, 08:09 AM
Do we know if he got into college?

Patti

The_Philster
09-09-2006, 08:50 AM
Do we know if he got into college?

Patti
It's not THAT old a thread

RedEyE
09-09-2006, 08:52 AM
Do we know if he got into college?

Patti

I don't know. I heard he was accepted to a wide variety of prisons.

Discotrish
09-09-2006, 08:54 AM
I don't know. I heard he was accepted to a wide variety of prisons.

Haha. Well cigarettes are hot commodities in prison.

Actually if he was in 10th grade in Jan 2004, he'd be starting his freshman year of college right now. Or are we assuming he'd be held back due to his essay-writing skills?

Patti

BlackMetalNinja
09-09-2006, 08:55 AM
It's not THAT old a thread

Oh but it is though... The thread was started in January 04, he was in 10th grade. Which means in Jan 05 he was a junior and Jan 06, he was a senior. Which means he'd be just starting as a freshmen in college a few weeks ago. That's all based on the idea that he got much better at writing and actually passed each grade and what not...

The_Philster
09-09-2006, 08:56 AM
Hm..I forgot he was that old...I was thinking he wasn't in 10th grade when he wrote that...but that he was in his 10th year

BlackMetalNinja
09-09-2006, 08:58 AM
Suuuuuuuuuuuure Phil... everybody in the US school system counts the years they've been in school instead of what grade they are in. A likely story indeed!

:rofl: Sorry, I just wanted an excust to say ROFL

The_Philster
09-09-2006, 08:59 AM
Actually, I meant years since birth ;) :lol:

BlackMetalNinja
09-09-2006, 09:02 AM
Actually, I meant years since birth ;) :lol:

Oh God... if that were the case then those guys were rediculously brutal to him!

The_Philster
09-09-2006, 09:04 AM
Oh God... if that were the case then those guys were rediculously brutal to him!
consider who some of those people are :laughter:

Voltron
09-09-2006, 10:39 AM
consider who some of those people are :laughter:
:wave:

Voltron
09-09-2006, 10:40 AM
Drop out of school and take up a trade.
I wonder if he ever ended up becoming a Black Smith? :huh:

LtBillsFan66
09-09-2006, 10:41 AM
Do we know if he got into college?

Patti
Yeah. He's the new janitor there. He has a set of keys and everything.

Voltron
09-09-2006, 10:47 AM
Yeah. He's the new janitor there. He has a set of keys and everything. The problem is that if you take his keys and shake them in front of him he gets all mesmerized and just stares at them while mouthing the word "shinny" :ugly:

Dozerdog
09-09-2006, 12:04 PM
Moving this to HoF Now!!!