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Canadian loop has little to lose in spat
Tue Jan 20 2004
IT'S official. We've been warned. The league has been put on notice. The secret society of NFL executives has sent the CFL membership a message courtesy of Marty York at Rogers Sportsnet.ca: "This kid (Stampeder Steven Morley) better end up with the Packers, or I guarantee you that the NFL is going to take a long, hard look at our relationship with the CFL."
Don't check your trousers for precipitation just yet, it gets worse: "We've given the CFL a lot of our time and a lot of our money over the years. We don't need headaches from the CFL."
There is nothing quite like being threatened by another professional sports affiliation. As much as a full crew of affluent owners signals a resurgence north of the border, when you can irk the National Football League brass into some anonymous posturing remarks, that's when you know you are truly back in the big time.
I always enjoyed the HBO "Friday Night Fights" promotions where Mike Tyson would erupt into some sort of staged violence to charge the pay-per-view numbers, so why not fabricate my own?
All this hoopla over a second-year Canadian lineman? You go girl! Ding, ding, ding.
"Leeeeets get reeeaaady to libel. It's the rumble in the tundra. In the left corner with the Stars and Stripes trunks and navy trim, the super heavyweight champion of the world: the National Football League. In the right corner, in the tasseled Sorels with red and white tuque, the challenger: the Canuck Football League. This match is scheduled for three rounds, keep the gloves up and obey my commands at all times. The three knockdown rule is in effect and you cannot be saved by the bell or large denominations of U.S. currency.
Harold Lederman: "So George, in what looks to be a complete mismatch between fighters, let's examine the tale of the tape."
George Foreman: "Well I think the NFL is just too big here. They average over 66,000 fans per game, they have a television contract bigger than Ricky Lake's rear end, they loaned the CFL $3 million three years ago, and if that weren't enough, they are peeved the CFL is disputing this Morley kid's option-year eligibility. I'm not sure the northern front can afford to trade blows with them straight up."
Harold Lederman: "That does not bode well for the CFLers, George. How did they end up in this fight in the first place?"
George Foreman: "I believe the Green Bay Packers wanted to sign this kid to a three-year deal worth almost a million and a half dollars. CFL team representatives said Steve allegedly signed a contract extension with their team in December, yet speculation is that former executive Fred Fateri may have filed it in a shoebox with his Gucci loafers, so it wasn't found until the deal had been completed."
Harold Lederman: "So is there or isn't there a valid contract? I mean how much grey area are we talking about here?" George Foreman: "As much grey area as a porterhouse on my grill after seven minutes Harold."
Harold Lederman: "Wow, that's a lot of confusion George."
Harold Lederman: "Lets see what heavyweight champion and exiled Canadian Lennox Lewis thinks about the chances of the home and native land. Lennox?"
Lennox Lewis: "Fo' schizzle. The super league is one hot toddy, but if you examine the facts the CFL looks to be a better fighter pound for pound."
Harold Lederman: "How's that Lennox?"
Lennox Lewis: "Well the CFL is smaller, you can't get around that Harvey. They get 25,000 a game but the NFL has 10 times the population to draw from and only 2.6 times the average fan attendance. So which country, per capita, really enjoys its football more? The CFL has been around longer, is the former world champion, has paid back that loan with interest, and even hands over its players like fortune cookies."
Harold Lederman: "Wow, sounds like the CFL should be about as concerned over this dispute as they were with the war of 1812. Any chance they both come out of this as winners?"
Lennox: "I dunno Harold. If the CFL isn't careful the NFL may stop taking their players. It may come down to a split decision." (From Doug Brown of the BB )
Canadian loop has little to lose in spat
Tue Jan 20 2004
IT'S official. We've been warned. The league has been put on notice. The secret society of NFL executives has sent the CFL membership a message courtesy of Marty York at Rogers Sportsnet.ca: "This kid (Stampeder Steven Morley) better end up with the Packers, or I guarantee you that the NFL is going to take a long, hard look at our relationship with the CFL."
Don't check your trousers for precipitation just yet, it gets worse: "We've given the CFL a lot of our time and a lot of our money over the years. We don't need headaches from the CFL."
There is nothing quite like being threatened by another professional sports affiliation. As much as a full crew of affluent owners signals a resurgence north of the border, when you can irk the National Football League brass into some anonymous posturing remarks, that's when you know you are truly back in the big time.
I always enjoyed the HBO "Friday Night Fights" promotions where Mike Tyson would erupt into some sort of staged violence to charge the pay-per-view numbers, so why not fabricate my own?
All this hoopla over a second-year Canadian lineman? You go girl! Ding, ding, ding.
"Leeeeets get reeeaaady to libel. It's the rumble in the tundra. In the left corner with the Stars and Stripes trunks and navy trim, the super heavyweight champion of the world: the National Football League. In the right corner, in the tasseled Sorels with red and white tuque, the challenger: the Canuck Football League. This match is scheduled for three rounds, keep the gloves up and obey my commands at all times. The three knockdown rule is in effect and you cannot be saved by the bell or large denominations of U.S. currency.
Harold Lederman: "So George, in what looks to be a complete mismatch between fighters, let's examine the tale of the tape."
George Foreman: "Well I think the NFL is just too big here. They average over 66,000 fans per game, they have a television contract bigger than Ricky Lake's rear end, they loaned the CFL $3 million three years ago, and if that weren't enough, they are peeved the CFL is disputing this Morley kid's option-year eligibility. I'm not sure the northern front can afford to trade blows with them straight up."
Harold Lederman: "That does not bode well for the CFLers, George. How did they end up in this fight in the first place?"
George Foreman: "I believe the Green Bay Packers wanted to sign this kid to a three-year deal worth almost a million and a half dollars. CFL team representatives said Steve allegedly signed a contract extension with their team in December, yet speculation is that former executive Fred Fateri may have filed it in a shoebox with his Gucci loafers, so it wasn't found until the deal had been completed."
Harold Lederman: "So is there or isn't there a valid contract? I mean how much grey area are we talking about here?" George Foreman: "As much grey area as a porterhouse on my grill after seven minutes Harold."
Harold Lederman: "Wow, that's a lot of confusion George."
Harold Lederman: "Lets see what heavyweight champion and exiled Canadian Lennox Lewis thinks about the chances of the home and native land. Lennox?"
Lennox Lewis: "Fo' schizzle. The super league is one hot toddy, but if you examine the facts the CFL looks to be a better fighter pound for pound."
Harold Lederman: "How's that Lennox?"
Lennox Lewis: "Well the CFL is smaller, you can't get around that Harvey. They get 25,000 a game but the NFL has 10 times the population to draw from and only 2.6 times the average fan attendance. So which country, per capita, really enjoys its football more? The CFL has been around longer, is the former world champion, has paid back that loan with interest, and even hands over its players like fortune cookies."
Harold Lederman: "Wow, sounds like the CFL should be about as concerned over this dispute as they were with the war of 1812. Any chance they both come out of this as winners?"
Lennox: "I dunno Harold. If the CFL isn't careful the NFL may stop taking their players. It may come down to a split decision." (From Doug Brown of the BB )
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