Some Dolphins Fun

[Schobel94]

I got these from http://www.wilk4.com/humor/humor.htm
The team names are pretty much interchangable, but, it's still funny.

Dolphins Football

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Be careful not to speed in Miami;
the police are handing out Dolphins game tickets.

Q: What's the difference between the Dolphins and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar.

Q: What do you call 47 people watching an NFL playoff game on TV?
A: The Miami Dolphins.

Q: What's the difference between O.J. Simpson and the Dolphins?
A: O.J. Simpson at least had a defense.

Announcement from public address system at Pro Player Stadium:
"Will the parents who lost your eleven kids here at the stadium please come get them? They are beating the Dolphins 14-0."

Q: What do the Dolphins and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Football practice was delayed on Wednesday for nearly two hours for the Dolphins. While on his way to the locker room, one of the players happened to look down and noticed a suspicious-looking, unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Dave Wandstat immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the Goal Line. Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.

Q: How do you keep the Dolphins out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.

Q: What do you call an Dolphin with a Super Bowl Ring?
A: A thief.

Q: Why was Dave Wandstat upset when the Dolphins' playbook was stolen?
A: He wasn't finished coloring in it yet.

[Schobel94]

Here's another cute altered joke from the same site.

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Dolphins fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Dolphins fans too. Not really knowing what a Dolphins fan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air. There is, however, one exception. A little girl has not gone along with the crowd.

The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Dolphins fan," she retorts. "Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?" "I'm a proud Buffalo Bills Fan," boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the little girl why she is a Bills fan.

"Well, My Dad and Mom are Bills fans, so I'm a Bills fan too, "she responds.

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?"

"Oh," says the little girl. "Well, then I'd be a Dolphins fan.

[CWOUSARET]

love it!

[Marino13Phins]

They are cool, I've just heard them all 39743 about every team in the nfl.

[Hermanator21]

It's still funnier cause they have the Dolphins as that team and the funny things is, they all seam true...

[Samphin1]

Originally posted by Hermanator21
It's still funnier cause they have the Dolphins as that team and the funny things is, they all seam true...

seam true? hmmmm grammar isn't a strong point here I guess.


Anyhow my favorite is about the three construction workers. A Niners fan, a Raiders fan and a Bills fan. They all had lunch together everyday.


The Niner fan opened his lunch box and said, " Awwww salami again?!?! If my lunch is salami tomorrow, I am going to kill myself." The Raiders fan opened his pail to unveil peanut butter and jelly. " PB and J again? If I have this tomorrow, I will kill myself too!" Then the Bills fan opened his lunch and saw turkey. He stated the same proposition. The next day all three open their lunches and after seeing the same thing again, jump to their deaths.

At the funeral the Niner fan's wife says, " If I had only known he didn't want salami anymore, I would have packed something different." The Raider fan's widow says through her tears, " Had I known I would have fixed something else too." Both ladies look at the Bills fan's wife with tears in their eyes. She turns to them and says, " Don't look at me, he packed his own lunches."

[Hermanator21]

you got me, and yes spelling is't my strong point .....but atleast my team is better than yours;)

[saviorbledsoe]

Originally posted by Samphin1


seam true? hmmmm grammar isn't a strong point here I guess.


Anyhow my favorite is about the three construction workers. A Niners fan, a Raiders fan and a Bills fan. Thay all had lunch together everyday.




"Thay" or They had lunch?

You had better spell check when you decide to bash someone else for the same thing.

[Samphin1]

Originally posted by saviorbledsoe


"Thay" or They had lunch?

You had better spell check when you decide to bash someone else for the same thing.

:rofl: :stick: :snicker2: Well, I never claimed for it to be my strong suit either! Your keen eye deserves a beer. :beer:

[justasportsfan]

hee gut whew their somefin1. :D

[Marino13Phins]

Originally posted by Hermanator21
you got me, and yes spelling is't my strong point .....but atleast my team is better than yours;)

You obviously aren't talking about football, since the bills haven't finished ahead of the dolphins constantly for some time now....:boom:

[saviorbledsoe]

Originally posted by Williams34Phins


You obviously aren't talking about football, since the bills haven't finished ahead of the dolphins constantly for some time now....:boom:

You mean constantly or consistantly?

Good lord what truck did you fall off?

[Marino13Phins]

Originally posted by saviorbledsoe


You mean constantly or consistantly?

Good lord what truck did you fall off?

I was just messing with you guys, you need to easy with being the spelling hawk, yes I know I mispelled the word, but you really do need to lay off you still knew what I was trying to say. I type nearly 100 words a minute (not bragging) so I tend to mispell words very bad sometimes.

[saviorbledsoe]

Originally posted by Williams34Phins


I was just messing with you guys, you need to easy with being the spelling hawk, yes I know I mispelled the word, but you really do need to lay off you still knew what I was trying to say. I type nearly 100 words a minute (not bragging) so I tend to mispell words very bad sometimes.

thats not about spelling......that was 2 different words with 2 different meanings.

[Marino13Phins]

Originally posted by saviorbledsoe


thats not about spelling......that was 2 different words with 2 different meanings.

It is for me, because I do it often. I spell another word, thinking of typing another word, and don't notice it because I breeze past it, that's why I am a firm believer in grammar check.

[Voltron]

My life would be a mess with out spell check and grammar check! :up:

[Marino13Phins]

Originally posted by Voltron
My life would be a mess with out spell check and grammar check! :up:

AMEN to that! Oh man how it saves me on college papers, heh.

[Voltron]

Originally posted by Williams34Phins


AMEN to that! Oh man how it saves me on college papers, heh.

College papers ... crap my resume would be laughed at if it weren’t for it! :lol:

[Marino13Phins]

Originally posted by Voltron


College papers ... crap my resume would be laughed at if it weren’t for it! :lol:

:lol:

[ryguy8161]

Originally posted by Samphin1


seam true? hmmmm grammar isn't a strong point here I guess.


Anyhow my favorite is about the three construction workers. A Niners fan, a Raiders fan and a Bills fan. They all had lunch together everyday.


The Niner fan opened his lunch box and said, " Awwww salami again?!?! If my lunch is salami tomorrow, I am going to kill myself." The Raiders fan opened his pail to unveil peanut butter and jelly. " PB and J again? If I have this tomorrow, I will kill myself too!" Then the Bills fan opened his lunch and saw turkey. He stated the same proposition. The next day all three open their lunches and after seeing the same thing again, jump to their deaths.

At the funeral the Niner fan's wife says, " If I had only known he didn't want salami anymore, I would have packed something different." The Raider fan's widow says through her tears, " Had I known I would have fixed something else too." Both ladies look at the Bills fan's wife with tears in their eyes. She turns to them and says, " Don't look at me, he packed his own lunches."
:lolcry: