Tweet
Dear Fans,
Let me start by saying I am truly disappointed in those of you who doubt my greatness. If you haven't already noticed, I am never wrong. Please try to keep this in mind as you read the rest of this message.
I came to Buffalo because quite frankly I wasn't getting enough praise at ESPN and other jobs after leaving Pittsburgh. True genius like mine needs to be acknowledged every day, and with great fanfare. As such I needed a new platform to attain this constant worshipping.
When Ralph Wilson presented me with the opportunity to ruin...er, I mean run the Bills I felt that it was only fitting that a great GM like myself lend my considerable talents to such a failing team. At that point, they had recently suffered through some terrible years going 10-6, 11-5, and an abysmal 8-8. It was clear they needed my genius to get them back to respectability.
The fact that we are currently 18-36 has no bearing on my brilliance. Many of you fail to realize that shortly after I hired Gregg, an alien abducted his body. You could tell by the two fleshy pods protruding from his chest. You can't blame me for that.
As for Drew, I felt that Belichick needed to get knocked down a peg. There isn't enough room for both our huge egos in the same division. So I wanted to deal him a blow by stealing the great Drew from under his nose. What many of you do not know is that Belichick had a stalker slip tiny doses of Liquid Statue(tm) into his Gatorade each day after the trade. That is why he is so slow. You can't blame me for that.
So as you can see I am still the greatest GM in the league and nothing that has happened is my fault. Please resume worshipping me and all will be forgiven.
Sincerely,
TD
Let me start by saying I am truly disappointed in those of you who doubt my greatness. If you haven't already noticed, I am never wrong. Please try to keep this in mind as you read the rest of this message.
I came to Buffalo because quite frankly I wasn't getting enough praise at ESPN and other jobs after leaving Pittsburgh. True genius like mine needs to be acknowledged every day, and with great fanfare. As such I needed a new platform to attain this constant worshipping.
When Ralph Wilson presented me with the opportunity to ruin...er, I mean run the Bills I felt that it was only fitting that a great GM like myself lend my considerable talents to such a failing team. At that point, they had recently suffered through some terrible years going 10-6, 11-5, and an abysmal 8-8. It was clear they needed my genius to get them back to respectability.
The fact that we are currently 18-36 has no bearing on my brilliance. Many of you fail to realize that shortly after I hired Gregg, an alien abducted his body. You could tell by the two fleshy pods protruding from his chest. You can't blame me for that.
As for Drew, I felt that Belichick needed to get knocked down a peg. There isn't enough room for both our huge egos in the same division. So I wanted to deal him a blow by stealing the great Drew from under his nose. What many of you do not know is that Belichick had a stalker slip tiny doses of Liquid Statue(tm) into his Gatorade each day after the trade. That is why he is so slow. You can't blame me for that.
So as you can see I am still the greatest GM in the league and nothing that has happened is my fault. Please resume worshipping me and all will be forgiven.
Sincerely,
TD
Comment