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View Full Version : FINAL ROUND 1: lordofgun defeats mybills 22-14



lordofgun
02-14-2005, 08:06 AM
ROUND 1: lordofgun vs. mybills

Round 1 will be freestyle. Do whatever the heck you want. Just make sure it's funny and insulting. And please refer to the rules in the sticky thread if you have any questions.

Each contestant will take turns insulting each other. This round will consist of 6 turns each.

mybills will go first.
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mybills
02-14-2005, 09:21 AM
You told us that you over paid that crew to roof your house, but really they charged extra for your new generation. Hey dumbass, you AND your wife got screwed! I mean, it's obvious that your son looks nothing like you. So which one nailed her, the one with the big hammer? My guess is that she was just humoring you with that dollar store incident. By the way, when is her due date for the next one, April Fools? You poor :limp: bastard...now I know why you get lots of ass kissing around here, none of these guys will turn their back on you!

lordofgun
02-14-2005, 12:03 PM
So everyone knows you're not funny. It's not even funny anymore to say how unfunny you are. Maybe we could have a not-funny tracker. In your case, there'd be way too much updating required, though. :ill: Maybe we could just make you the automatic winner every month.

Seriously though, It must suck to never make a tracker. So I decided that I'd suggest a few trackers that you could have a good chance of winning.

Tobacco-Stained Teeth Tracker - You'd be right up there, but we'd have to count teeth that have fallen out if you were going to win. Mush or Kgun might beat you ocasionally.

Most Broken-Down Camaros in Front of your Double-Wide Tracker - Shoe-in!

Face Looks Like a Horse Tracker - you'd win this one easily, you Linda Cohn lookalike. neigh.

mybills
02-14-2005, 01:34 PM
Camaros in Front of your Double-Wide? Yeah, ok .
Try being a little original, will ya? :loser:

btw, That blue eye shadow looks terrible on you!

*edit* Due to complaints about the use of nudity, I have edited the picture in question. Please refrain from posting nudity on the Bills Zone. Thanks, nbf

lordofgun
02-14-2005, 02:24 PM
Just bought a car! (showthread.php?t=46001&highlight=camaro) :rofl: Congrats, mybills. You got a real beauty there. I'm sure you'll find enough parts in your junk yard...errr...front yard to keep it running for years!

Man, you got me really good with that urinal cartoon. I still haven't recovered fully! Too bad you didn't think of it. It's a lot better than most of the "art" you do though. Let's take a look at your brilliant handiwork:

http://www.billszone.com/coppermine/albums/userpics/10040/moon-face.jpg


Wow. It really doesn't get any better than that. Good luck trying to make a living with that kindergarten crap. I hope you didn't pay for that class. I hear that at the next state of the union speech, President Bush is going to announce that to balance the budget, you have to pay back all that wasted financial aid immediately. They're literally going to cut the pork!

Maybe for your next insult, instead of someone else's cartoon, you could post one of those forwarded emails you post every day. You know, the ones with the jokes that aren't funny.

mybills
02-14-2005, 06:01 PM
You would make an excellent illustration in a proctology textbook.

Speaking of pictures, your mom called.
That picture of an abortion you call a face fell off the mantle & broke.
She'd like you to send her a new one.
Let's see, you have milk white skin, and red hair...
you look a lot like a used maxi pad.
Here's an idea, instead of torturing a photographer,
why don't you just send her one of those and tell her to frame it! :up:

lordofgun
02-14-2005, 08:44 PM
Since you brought up used maxi-pads...

I hear that last month around this time, your underwear had to apply for giant red tsunami aid. Over 300,000 cotton fibers were destroyed. :(

mybills
02-15-2005, 07:02 AM
Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.

In fact, I'll bet you approach everything with an open mouth, that explains your avatar!
Whatever is eating you, must be suffering horribly.
The difference between you and a fridge is that a fridge doesn't fart when you take the meat out.

lordofgun
02-15-2005, 11:35 AM
Threads Started: 2457 :ill: Each and every one of them hurt. You might as well stop wasting your time. Apparently I'm not the only one who always looks forward to your posts.

Let's take a look at some of your beauties:

<TABLE class=tborder cellSpacing=1 cellPadding=5 width="100%" align=center border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=thead colSpan=2></TD><TD class=thead width="75%">Thread</TD><TD class=thead noWrap align=middle>Thread Starter</TD><TD class=thead noWrap align=middle>Replies</TD><TD class=thead noWrap align=middle>Views</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
<TABLE class=tborder cellSpacing=1 cellPadding=5 width="100%" align=center border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt1>http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/images/statusicon/thread.gif</TD><TD class=alt2>http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/images/icons/icon14.gif</TD><TD class=alt1Active id=t65462 title="I chose the 1200 calorie menu, listed things I like to eat, but I was still under the limit. I could never eat as much as they want me to. :eek:Check it out! :up: Awesome Calorie Tracker! (http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/showthread.php?t=65462)






</TD><TD class=alt2>mybills



<!--======================date de creation by papoo===================-->02-10-2005 08:17 AM <!--======================date de creation by papoo===================-->


</TD><TD class=alt1 align=middle>0 (http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/search.php?searchid=90399#)</TD><TD class=alt2 align=middle>11</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

Awesome.

<TABLE class=tborder cellSpacing=1 cellPadding=5 width="100%" align=center border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=thead colSpan=2></TD><TD class=thead width="75%">Thread</TD><TD class=thead noWrap align=middle>Thread Starter</TD><TD class=thead noWrap align=middle>Replies</TD><TD class=thead noWrap align=middle>Views</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
<TABLE class=tborder cellSpacing=1 cellPadding=5 width="100%" align=center border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt1>http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/images/statusicon/thread.gif</TD><TD class=alt2>http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/images/icons/icon14.gif</TD><TD class=alt1Active id=t64698 title="... __/ /\____ , o`,/__/ _/\_ //____/\ ```)( | | | | | | | || |l ,.- ,.-~~-., `-. :">Nice House! (http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/showthread.php?t=64698)






</TD><TD class=alt2>mybills



<!--======================date de creation by papoo===================-->01-27-2005 08:51 AM <!--======================date de creation by papoo===================-->


</TD><TD class=alt1 align=middle>0 (http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/search.php?searchid=90399#)</TD><TD class=alt2 align=middle>11</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

Nice!

<TABLE class=tborder cellSpacing=1 cellPadding=5 width="100%" align=center border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=thead colSpan=2></TD><TD class=thead width="75%">Thread</TD><TD class=thead noWrap align=middle>Thread Starter</TD><TD class=thead noWrap align=middle>Replies</TD><TD class=thead noWrap align=middle>Views</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
<TABLE class=tborder cellSpacing=1 cellPadding=5 width="100%" align=center border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt1>http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/images/statusicon/thread.gif</TD><TD class=alt2></TD><TD class=alt1Active id=t63570 title="Nose picker.. when you pick your nose.. can you use a hanky.. don't wipe it on your clothes.. nose picker...">Have you heard this parody? (http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/showthread.php?t=63570)



lol



</TD><TD class=alt2>mybills



<!--======================date de creation by papoo===================-->01-10-2005 08:26 AM <!--======================date de creation by papoo===================-->


</TD><TD class=alt1 align=middle>0 (http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/search.php?searchid=90399#)</TD><TD class=alt2 align=middle>6</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

lol! No, I haven't! Maybe if you post it again, someone will care!

<TABLE class=tborder cellSpacing=1 cellPadding=5 width="100%" align=center border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=thead colSpan=2></TD><TD class=thead width="75%">Thread</TD><TD class=thead noWrap align=middle>Thread Starter</TD><TD class=thead noWrap align=middle>Replies</TD><TD class=thead noWrap align=middle>Views</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
<TABLE class=tborder cellSpacing=1 cellPadding=5 width="100%" align=center border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt1>http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/images/statusicon/thread.gif</TD><TD class=alt2></TD><TD class=alt1Active id=t63134 title="will win tonight, because the Bills lost. I garantee it. Put money on it if you can! :up:The Giants (http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/showthread.php?t=63134)






</TD><TD class=alt2>mybills



<!--======================date de creation by papoo===================-->01-02-2005 09:08 PM <!--======================date de creation by papoo===================-->


</TD><TD class=alt1 align=middle>0 (http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/search.php?searchid=90399#)</TD><TD class=alt2 align=middle>11</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

A piece of great football knowledge here. Too bad no one read it. :(

<TABLE class=tborder cellSpacing=1 cellPadding=5 width="100%" align=center border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=thead colSpan=2></TD><TD class=thead width="75%">Thread</TD><TD class=thead noWrap align=middle>Thread Starter</TD><TD class=thead noWrap align=middle>Replies</TD><TD class=thead noWrap align=middle>Views</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
<TABLE class=tborder cellSpacing=1 cellPadding=5 width="100%" align=center border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt1>http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/images/statusicon/thread.gif</TD><TD class=alt2></TD><TD class=alt1Active id=t64811 title="I think he's closer to a ONE ZERO! :10:Anybody watching Johnny Zero? (http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/showthread.php?t=64811)






</TD><TD class=alt2>mybills



<!--======================date de creation by papoo===================-->01-28-2005 09:37 PM <!--======================date de creation by papoo===================-->


</TD><TD class=alt1 align=middle>1 (http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/search.php?searchid=90408#)</TD><TD class=alt2 align=middle>10</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

Nice! You got a reply! Too bad it was from you. :(

<TABLE class=tborder cellSpacing=1 cellPadding=5 width="100%" align=center border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=thead colSpan=2></TD><TD class=thead width="75%">Thread</TD><TD class=thead noWrap align=middle>Thread Starter</TD><TD class=thead noWrap align=middle>Replies</TD><TD class=thead noWrap align=middle>Views</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
<TABLE class=tborder cellSpacing=1 cellPadding=5 width="100%" align=center border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt1>http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/images/statusicon/thread.gif</TD><TD class=alt2>http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/images/icons/icon14.gif</TD><TD class=alt1Active id=t64697 title="to rep comments.">I wish I could reply (http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/showthread.php?t=64697)






</TD><TD class=alt2>mybills



<!--======================date de creation by papoo===================-->01-27-2005 08:39 AM <!--======================date de creation by papoo===================-->


</TD><TD class=alt1 align=middle>1 (http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/search.php?searchid=90408#)</TD><TD class=alt2 align=middle>11</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

A pity reply from BJH. What a nice guy.

<TABLE class=tborder cellSpacing=1 cellPadding=5 width="100%" align=center border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=thead colSpan=2></TD><TD class=thead width="75%">Thread</TD><TD class=thead noWrap align=middle>Thread Starter</TD><TD class=thead noWrap align=middle>Replies</TD><TD class=thead noWrap align=middle>Views</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
<TABLE class=tborder cellSpacing=1 cellPadding=5 width="100%" align=center border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt1>http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/images/statusicon/thread.gif</TD><TD class=alt2></TD><TD class=alt1Active id=t64387 title="An English woman and a Redneck woman woman are grocery shopping. The English woman, after watching the other woman staring at and hefting two potatoes, asks, &quot;What are you looking at?&quot; The Redneck woman says the potatoes reminded her of her husband's testicles. The English woman exclaims,...">Big Tators (http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/showthread.php?t=64387)






</TD><TD class=alt2>mybills



<!--======================date de creation by papoo===================-->01-23-2005 10:12 AM <!--======================date de creation by papoo===================-->


</TD><TD class=alt1 align=middle>1 (http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/search.php?searchid=90408#)</TD><TD class=alt2 align=middle>13</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

Again, one great big reply from BJH. I can't believe you didn't get more replies. After all, that was a hilarious recycled email joke.



The only reason I haven't banned you is because you donated.

mybills
02-15-2005, 11:50 AM
About the coin toss that decided who went first,
I'll bet you got tails and gave yourself head. :limp:


Talk about annoying posts...

They've been playing Elkland on Sirius


Don't forget about Elkland.

STOP reminding me, I keep getting flashashashbacks!
I won't buy pre-ripped jeans, why would I buy a pre-skipped record?
I understand he's your brother, but you actually like
that crap? Oil doesn't reach your dipstick, does it? :shakeno:

Btw, here's a more appropriate avatar for ya..
http://www.billszone.com/coppermine/albums/userpics/10009/lordof.JPG

lordofgun
02-15-2005, 02:42 PM
:chuckle: That tickles!

I was going to do a photoshop job on your picture to make you look more like Mr. Ed, but I tried and tried and I just couldn't make you look any more like him. :(

I never believed in reincarnation until I took a look at you and thought "Holy crap, it's Seattle Slew!"

Guess which one is mybills:

mybills
02-15-2005, 05:36 PM
Thanks ******, you just called me a WINNER! :up: :bravo:

But jeez...
That's it? That's all you have? C'mon log, I thought you'd at least try to be a little bit of an
http://www.billszone.com/coppermine/albums/userpics/10009/ahole.gif.
I was all set to applaud you. I really thought we'd see that little ***** that you are. :cynic:

Seriously, if you took viagra you'd get taller!


So, pudgy, what other medical miracles are out there just for you?
:scratch:
I was gonna suggest some Relicore for your stubborn belly fat,
then I noticed it wasn't just your mid-section that needs help.
I know, I know, butt jiggle is just your way of saying goodbye!
Just do one small favor for me?
Don't ever inject yourself with Botox, you'll POP!
:scared:

Well, it's been fun. Good luck with the roofer's newest baby! :up:
(which ever roofer came back to do the addition, that is) :idunno:
I hope they didn't look like Phil. :eek:
But good thing the baby won't look like you. :phew:
:lolpoint: :log:

Later!
:curtsey:

p.s. God gave you a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. Don't forget which one runs for your last post. :;

lordofgun
02-15-2005, 09:49 PM
I have to admit, you did better than I expected. But that's not saying much.

That's like expecting a dog to take a crap on your carpet, but the dog only takes a leak on your carpet. Much better. :up:

It's like expecting both drivers in a head on collision to die, but only one of them dies and the other is a permanent vegetable.

It's like expecting the twin tower death toll to be 3,000, but it turns out only 2,999 people die.

It's like expecting to get expelled from art class, but instead you get an F. You can relate to that one.

It's like expecting a new car and getting a craphole Camaro.

It's like when you expected Phil to have male genitalia, but then it turns out he also had female genitalia. Bonus!

When expectations are low, it doesn't take much to do better than expected. Congratulations, you sucked slightly less than everyone thought you would.

lordofgun
02-15-2005, 09:50 PM
Good match, MB! Voting is open until noon ET tomorrow.

mybills
02-15-2005, 09:57 PM
I had a a lot of fun! Good match, and good luck! :up:

chernobylwraiths
02-15-2005, 10:39 PM
I didn't think she would actually win, but I gave her the only vote.

Name recognition wins again. Thank goodness this will be my last vote on here as everthing is only voted on not by who won or lost but by who you like better. :cynic:

Devin
02-15-2005, 10:43 PM
I didn't think she would actually win, but I gave her the only vote.

Name recognition wins again. Thank goodness this will be my last vote on here as everthing is only voted on not by who won or lost but by who you like better. :cynic:

indeed.

lordofgun
02-15-2005, 10:54 PM
I didn't think she would actually win, but I gave her the only vote.

Name recognition wins again. Thank goodness this will be my last vote on here as everthing is only voted on not by who won or lost but by who you like better. :cynic:
So you actually thought she was better?

You sound like you need to drink a beer or have some lovin' with your wife. You've been awfully cranky lately.

Mr.Reality
02-15-2005, 11:06 PM
Good job, mybills.

Mr.Reality
02-15-2005, 11:07 PM
So you actually thought she was better?
I don't know how to tickle the guy's funny bone either. . .

mchurchfie
02-15-2005, 11:16 PM
I hope you were just saving your better material for later Log...i have a lot of money riding on you.:ill: Up your game a little....aight?? :pray:

lordofgun
02-15-2005, 11:33 PM
Have you seen the competition? The game doesn't need upping.

Mr.Reality
02-15-2005, 11:34 PM
Have you seen the competition? The game doesn't need upping.
Not on your side of the bracket. . .

lordofgun
02-15-2005, 11:36 PM
Not on your side of the bracket. . .Apparently you need to dumb it down a little. :chuckle:

You have to consider your audience.

mchurchfie
02-15-2005, 11:55 PM
Have you seen the competition? The game doesn't need upping.:hi5::shake:
:chuckle:

The_Philster
02-16-2005, 03:08 AM
LOG's game was slightly above average all thread long. mybills started off weak and got stronger at the end...a few posts too late. LOG's average, even as low as it was, was better

mybills
02-16-2005, 08:22 AM
Man, I thought I was consistant throughout. :ill:

The other contestants have to ask themself before they vote, who do they want to go up against? Me or log? If they want to win, that is. :snicker:

mybills
02-16-2005, 08:23 AM
Good job, mybills.
Thanks! :peace:

Michael82
02-16-2005, 08:28 AM
I thought log tried to keep his good stuff away and it hurt him. He did a good job towards the end, but I liked mybills better. Nice job. :up:

Earthquake Enyart
02-16-2005, 08:36 AM
If mybills did what I told her, she'd have won going away. :mad:

Devin
02-16-2005, 08:38 AM
nj mybills

mybills
02-16-2005, 08:39 AM
If mybills did what I told her, she'd have won going away. :mad:
I told you my photoshop program isn't working, and I couldn't find the picture, either! :wail:
It was a great idea though! :up:

Michael82
02-16-2005, 08:40 AM
If mybills did what I told her, she'd have won going away. :mad:
What was that? :scratch:

Mr. Miyagi
02-16-2005, 08:55 AM
It's like expecting the twin tower death toll to be 3,000, but it turns out only 2,999 people die.
That was kinda poor taste. :down:

Log's game sucked in the beginning, but warmed up after a few posts. Mybills started out pretty strong, and was actually much funnier than usual, but she slipped after a few rounds. And LOG was right sadly, better than expected isn't saying much when our expectations of her was pretty low. :snicker:

Sorry girl, LOG got my vote here. Good try though. :up:

lordofgun
02-16-2005, 08:58 AM
LOG's game was slightly above average all thread long. mybills started off weak and got stronger at the end...a few posts too late. LOG's average, even as low as it was, was better
I thought log tried to keep his good stuff away and it hurt him. He did a good job towards the end, but I liked mybills better. Nice job. :up:
You guys are great at judging humor. Maybe sometime you should try using some.

Earthquake Enyart
02-16-2005, 09:01 AM
You guys are great at judging humor. Maybe sometime you should try using some.

If I had a tracker, that would score big time.

mybills
02-16-2005, 09:10 AM
but she slipped after a few rounds.

<b>"Don't ever inject yourself with Botox, you'll POP!"</b>

That was in my last try, and it was an original! You can't tell me that you didn't laugh! :chuckle:

DraftBoy
02-16-2005, 10:42 AM
Neither was overly impressive and I only smiled once at the Mr. Ed picture and for that Log gets my vote.

mchurchfie
02-16-2005, 10:47 AM
You guys are great at judging humor. Maybe sometime you should try using some.
Look who you are dealing with...you would have a better chance of seeing Wys host "The Dr Phil Show" before these two could stumble upon any humor.:ill:

mchurchfie
02-16-2005, 10:49 AM
If mybills did what I told her, she'd have won going away. :mad:
Weren't you out in the first round last year?:::

yle
02-16-2005, 11:01 AM
<b>"Don't ever inject yourself with Botox, you'll POP!"</b>

That was in my last try, and it was an original! You can't tell me that you didn't laugh! :chuckle:
I didn't laugh, because it makes no sense. Botox paralyzes the skin to smooth wrinkles. How would it make him pop?

LtBillsFan66
02-16-2005, 11:14 AM
Wow. mybills got a lot of sympathy votes.

RedEyE
02-16-2005, 11:19 AM
I don't actually think she did that bad. She would have slaughtered a better match-up. Throw her up against Shinychicken, Buffalosabers04, Bling or DanneyK, she easily moves onto the next round.

chernobylwraiths
02-16-2005, 11:21 AM
So you actually thought she was better?


I thought both efforts were a little weak.



You sound like you need to drink a beer or have some lovin' with your wife. You've been awfully cranky lately.

:( I know.

mybills
02-16-2005, 11:35 AM
I didn't laugh, because it makes no sense. Botox paralyzes the skin to smooth wrinkles. How would it make him pop?
Wrinkles are dents, I was calling him fat...you figure it out.

mybills
02-16-2005, 11:38 AM
I don't actually think she did that bad. She would have slaughtered a better match-up. Throw her up against Shinychicken, Buffalosabers04, Bling or DanneyK, she easily moves onto the next round.
No kidding. I have nothing to feel bad about losing to the funniest one of the bunch. If I lost to any one of these other clowns, I'd kill myself!

:evil:

lordofgun
02-16-2005, 02:34 PM
I thought both efforts were a little weak.



:( I know.
Didn't get the choir solo?

lordofgun
02-16-2005, 02:43 PM
Wow. mybills got a lot of sympathy votes.
She also got a lot of anti-LOG votes. I'm sure I have a couple of people who would vote for me no matter what, but there are just as many who would vote against me no matter what.

honey
02-16-2005, 02:49 PM
I voted for the person I thought was funniest in all of them, no matter who they were or if I knew them or not. :smile:

The_Philster
02-16-2005, 05:49 PM
Look who you are dealing with...you would have a better chance of seeing Wys host &quot;The Dr Phil Show&quot; before these two could stumble upon any humor.:ill:

Did I squeeze your head for an opinion? :mad:

Billz_fan
02-16-2005, 06:35 PM
No kidding. I have nothing to feel bad about losing to the funniest one of the bunch. If I lost to any one of these other clowns, I'd kill myself!

:evil:


You did very well, Just got a bad draw for round 1 :up: