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View Full Version : FINAL: ROUND 1: Crisis defeats STAMPY 25-12



lordofgun
02-14-2005, 08:14 AM
ROUND 1: STAMPY vs. Crisis

Round 1 will be freestyle. Do whatever the heck you want. Just make sure it's funny and insulting. And please refer to the rules in the sticky thread if you have any questions.

Each contestant will take turns insulting each other. This round will consist of 6 turns each.

Crisis will go first.
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Crisis
02-14-2005, 08:47 AM
OK Foodstamp. STAMPY. Whatever you're called.

I'm against a person who models his life after the WWE. Speaking of which, how'd that video go with you STAMPY? I don't think they accept videos from someone who hurt their leg playing football in the park against 4th graders.

I'm against someone that uses RAW and SMACKDOWN for insults. C'mon, someone with a lower IQ than some single-celled organisms isn't going to say anything remotely funny without help from their favorite wrestling show :crazy:. I bet you thought it was just coincidence that your parents had the same surnames before they married? You couldn't tell left to right if you had 3 guesses.

BTW, maybe it's time to go back to the gym and work on those guns. I know you're getting tired of restaurants saying "People Limit: 50 people or you."

STAMPY
02-14-2005, 10:40 AM
OK Foodstamp. STAMPY. Whatever you're called.

I'm against a person who models his life after the WWE. Speaking of which, how'd that video go with you STAMPY? I don't think they accept videos from someone who hurt their leg playing football in the park against 4th graders.

I'm against someone that uses RAW and SMACKDOWN for insults. C'mon, someone with a lower IQ than some single-celled organisms isn't going to say anything remotely funny without help from their favorite wrestling show :crazy:. I bet you thought it was just coincidence that your parents had the same surnames before they married? You couldn't tell left to right if you had 3 guesses.

BTW, maybe it's time to go back to the gym and work on those guns. I know you're getting tired of restaurants saying "People Limit: 50 people or you."


What the hell was that. I realize now im being challenged by a special ed student. That was ******ed... you attack me on watching wrasslin. And little word of advice you sanctimonial Son of a b!tch that restraunt joke was horrendous. I felt raped reading it. It wassoooo brutal. You my pimpled, overweight, bottom feeding, Living on a brailer, living la vida loca, trash bag ho. Biznitch, you need to up your game, hey ill let you borrow my Pimp Card, cause brotha you are a joke. Ill be honest with you crisis, I Don't even know who You Are... Ive never heard of you, You're not very popular, You're not that cool, You're actually a fool. Bro i did ****in research on you, Nothing even made me laugh, not ONE

I did a search and found one thread that i forced myself to open it said Who is your favorite rapper? Fellow Bill Fans guess what this dumb mother ****er said... MC F'N HAMMER... Bro you need some help. I bet this ****er has the MC hammer pants at home. You Can't touch this... Im too legit to quit, You're a ****in homo, This is the guy that goes to the kareoke bar busts it old school with his gear on. He's on ebay picking up all of Mc Hammers *****. I bet this guy has his wife call him THE HAMMER in the sack. I just find it very strange when the man is known as the hammer... Yet his girl repeatedly yells Harder please, Harder please!

Speaking of your b!tch bro. How's she doing? I ****in nailed bombs on her.**** Shot after **** shot. She's a trooper, She is one filthy slut, I DIG THAT. She is HIGH ON PROTEIN BABY... Speaking of videos, we made a few ill post them in the TWILIGHT ZONE soon. CRISIS ***** getting pounded by the one man crime scene, Twisted steel with Sex Appeal, One bad mama jama, Prince ali, The One The Only Lord STAMPY.

Ok bring it *****

Crisis
02-14-2005, 11:05 AM
What the hell was that. I realize now im being challenged by a special ed student. That was ******ed... you attack me on watching wrasslin. And little word of advice you sanctimonial Son of a b!tch that restraunt joke was horrendous. I felt raped reading it. It wassoooo brutal. You my pimpled, overweight, bottom feeding, Living on a brailer, living la vida loca, trash bag ho. Biznitch, you need to up your game, hey ill let you borrow my Pimp Card, cause brotha you are a joke. Ill be honest with you crisis, I Don't even know who You Are... Ive never heard of you, You're not very popular, You're not that cool, You're actually a fool. Bro i did ****in research on you, Nothing even made me laugh, not ONE

I did a search and found one thread that i forced myself to open it said Who is your favorite rapper? Fellow Bill Fans guess what this dumb mother ****er said... MC F'N HAMMER... Bro you need some help. I bet this ****er has the MC hammer pants at home. You Can't touch this... Im too legit to quit, You're a ****in homo, This is the guy that goes to the kareoke bar busts it old school with his gear on. He's on ebay picking up all of Mc Hammers *****. I bet this guy has his wife call him THE HAMMER in the sack. I just find it very strange when the man is known as the hammer... Yet his girl repeatedly yells Harder please, Harder please!

Speaking of your b!tch bro. How's she doing? I ****in realized bombs on her. *** Shot after *** shot. She's a trooper, She is one filthy slut, I DIG THAT. She is HIGH ON PROTEIN BABY... Speaking of videos, we made a few ill post them in the TWILIGHT ZONE soon. CRISIS ***** getting pounded by the one man crime scene, Twisted steel with Sex Appeal, One bad mama jama, Prince ali, The One The Only Lord STAMPY.

Ok bring it *****

You have me believing in reincartion now. I don't think anyone could get this stupid in one life.

WRASSLIN? I didn't realise Long Island trash now spoke in redneck accents. I guess its all the same though, both have more hoes than anywhere else. I think it's time you lay off stealing insults from Ricky Martin songs and start dating back to some WWE scripts.

OK, I'm glad you like The Hammer too. You'll be meeting him in a prison in a couple years after your 3rd assault & battery charge from steroids. I just picture a juiced up STAMPY yelling his post at the top of his lungs trying to act tough.

I'm pretty sure any chick who has an IQ higher than her BAL (not too many in LI) wouldn't get anywhere near you. When you step on the scale, it says to be continued. When God said "let there be light" he pushed your fat ass outta the way. The dentist has to treat you through mail-order, since your face is so bad.

STAMPY
02-14-2005, 11:37 AM
You have me believing in reincartion now. I don't think anyone could get this stupid in one life.


When you step on the scale, it says to be continued. When God said "let there be light" he pushed your fat ass outta the way. The dentist has to treat you through mail-order, since your face is so bad.

It never gets any better, does it. My opponent decides to pimp up his game yet fails once Again. BUT he goes the online route. Nothing lamer and more unoriginal than stealing jokes off the internet in an Insult contest. As expected from this character. The other night when i railed hi girl, i found a picture of Crisis hero, the man... MC Hammer, this picture is the one that hangs above his bed, He looks at it every night and pumps himself up. It was very awkward to see it in person, while i did the deed, i felt dirty.

Here i have crisis awful attempt at a battle at the Kareoke dive... He takes the nation by storm on the CRACKA GEE TOUR

i am the mc hammer...
i was in the slammer...
You can't touch this...
Unless your name is bubba
Then you can rubba me down
Im all around
i like getting slammed and jammed and rammed...
Thank you maam
When i am in the shower
i am a tower of power
to sweet to be sour
funky like a monkey...
IM TOO LEGIT TO QUIT
TOO LEGIT...TOO LEGIT
(combines the moonwalk and the hammer dance)

here is a picture of Crisis girl. This slanty eyed vixen is a catch. She gives head for egg rolls. And if and i know it is hard. You can shoot a load in her eyes, which are mighty, mighty small... your prize? you get to SHOCKERIZE this *****... Two in the stink one in the pink... If you use THE WORLD IS YOUR OYSTER line on her she is all yours. She is a sucker for romantic stuff. Im a hopeless romantic myself

BTW have you ever seen my Guns? They are nuts bro... Fat jokes need not apply... Im buff daddy bro... Good try, change your point of attack buddy, BRING IT!!!

Crisis
02-14-2005, 01:11 PM
It never gets any better, does it. My opponent decides to pimp up his game yet fails once Again. BUT he goes the online route. Nothing lamer and more unoriginal than stealing jokes off the internet in an Insult contest. As expected from this character. The other night when i railed hi girl, i found a picture of Crisis hero, the man... MC Hammer, this picture is the one that hangs above his bed, He looks at it every night and pumps himself up. It was very awkward to see it in person, while i did the deed, i felt dirty.

Here i have crisis awful attempt at a battle at the Kareoke dive... He takes the nation by storm on the CRACKA GEE TOUR

i am the mc hammer...
i was in the slammer...
You can't touch this...
Unless your name is bubba
Then you can rubba me down
Im all around
i like getting slammed and jammed and rammed...
Thank you maam
When i am in the shower
i am a tower of power
to sweet to be sour
funky like a monkey...
IM TOO LEGIT TO QUIT
TOO LEGIT...TOO LEGIT
(combines the moonwalk and the hammer dance)

here is a picture of Crisis girl. This slanty eyed vixen is a catch. She gives head for egg rolls. And if and i know it is hard. You can shoot a load in her eyes, which are mighty, mighty small... your prize? you get to SHOCKERIZE this *****... Two in the stink one in the pink... If you use THE WORLD IS YOUR OYSTER line on her she is all yours. She is a sucker for romantic stuff. Im a hopeless romantic myself

BTW have you ever seen my Guns? They are nuts bro... Fat jokes need not apply... Im buff daddy bro... Good try, change your point of attack buddy, BRING IT!!!

Sorry, I don't speak moronese.

I got an idea. You could shrink your head so you can use it as a paperweight. Maybe you'd be better off doing that instead of pushing it past its limits and trying to write a coherent post.

Please. We both know the only thing close to being 2 inches on your body is your mouth. Time for you to go back into a drunken denial of what your life is. Each day turning a paler white as you sit on your computer posting on the WWE forums all day. Maybe there you'll fit in. You guys can pretend to be all tough on the forums.

BTW, I just went through a bunch of your posts and almost all of them mention JFreeman in them. I think it's cute. You finally have someone to take with you on that San Fran shopping spree.



Yo Freeman...

Fix your damn PS2 up so i can OWN YOU! U will be in MaddenHell versus me, *****

I fear BAM tho :nervous:


Show up next sunday *****! "I got somethin for ya freeman"


freeman and his fat buddy, sexy *****es


There should have been a screening. You should just step down and let Freeman fill your spot. Cause you got No Chance, no chance


i wanna join in. set me up with draftboy or freeman in round 1


freeman you pussy! Answer your IM's, im inviting you to come along, you're always bugging me about wings. The time i tell you, u don't respond

The list goes on and on! I hope you two have a great Valentines day. If you're lucky STAMPY, he might put out.

STAMPY
02-14-2005, 01:57 PM
Nice try... I really find it humorous that a man who cried when his cat *****in committed suicide is judging my sexuality. talk about being a Man, For Gods sake CRISIS look at you. Look in the mirror YOU'RE PATHETIC... Every thing in your life is a shame.

Look at YOU. Look how Ugly you are. Bro when you were born, your mama said, 'What a treasure!' And your dad said, Let's go bury it!

Back to that ****ing cat...


:cry:

He was a huge part of my life...the most loveable cat you'll ever meet, he even knew alot of words. when you would say "kiss" he'd put his head down for you to kiss his forehead, he knew the word food, up, and no. he would always lay on you, and almost never bite. he would be playful, but never to hurt you. he would always look into your face while you're talking, and I loved that...

i really dont know what I'm going to do without him... :cry: :cry: its going to be a long month thinking about him.

He was a huge part of your life huh? he kissed you on forehead. You sick freak. You guys prolly made dirty videos. I can just tell all the emails you have in your mailbox. Animal Banger, :sad:

Bro i hate to break it to you, Your cat didn't die of a stroke. He killed himself. He was tired of you violating it. You Sick freak. A long month? What did you do during that long month buddy? Crack out all the tapes you two had together. I bet
Necrophilia has crossed your filthy lil mind CRISIS. Ever since that painful loss i bet Mid Life Crisis has been tough, huh... figures your user name is CRISIS too

Be a man bro... Only **** cry over a kitty, I can see crying about losing a p@ssy if it was between a womans legs

but then again you've never seen one of those so kitty ****ing is the closest you'll ever get to "p@ssy"


He died of old age...He was about 14.

He was weak the past day, could barely walk this morning. He had a seizure, peed on the carpet, and then started gasping for air for 30 seconds....then he was dead. :cry:

That is the funniest ***** i ever heard. I bet you left his urine stains on the floor for memories. You prolly jerk it to the stains:rofl:

This is sooo funny. I don't feel bad for you at all. The world is a better place now that this cat is gone, He is in kitty heave, SAFE away from animals like you :mad:

Crisis
02-14-2005, 03:07 PM
Nice try... I really find it humorous that a man who cried when his cat *****in committed suicide is judging my sexuality. talk about being a Man, For Gods sake CRISIS look at you. Look in the mirror YOU'RE PATHETIC... Every thing in your life is a shame.

Look at YOU. Look how Ugly you are. Bro when you were born, your mama said, 'What a treasure!' And your dad said, Let's go bury it!

Back to that ****ing cat...



He was a huge part of your life huh? he kissed you on forehead. You sick freak. You guys prolly made dirty videos. I can just tell all the emails you have in your mailbox. Animal Banger, :sad:

Bro i hate to break it to you, Your cat didn't die of a stroke. He killed himself. He was tired of you violating it. You Sick freak. A long month? What did you do during that long month buddy? Crack out all the tapes you two had together. I bet
Necrophilia has crossed your filthy lil mind CRISIS. Ever since that painful loss i bet Mid Life Crisis has been tough, huh... figures your user name is CRISIS too

Be a man bro... Only **** cry over a kitty, I can see crying about losing a p@ssy if it was between a womans legs

but then again you've never seen one of those so kitty ****ing is the closest you'll ever get to "p@ssy"



That is the funniest ***** i ever heard. I bet you left his urine stains on the floor for memories. You prolly jerk it to the stains:rofl:

This is sooo funny. I don't feel bad for you at all. The world is a better place now that this cat is gone, He is in kitty heave, SAFE away from animals like you :mad:

Hmmm. Pets?


they r illegal w/o license in ny i dunno y they are not dangerous, dont believe the hype! i knew a guy who sold me them in a pet shop he had a permit to display them

they are crazy they ate a goldfish before, they r shy tho. they only eat when ur not watchin, privacy i guess. i was hiding by door and saw them rip it a part all 4 attacked it together. it was funny

You're a bright one. Let's give all this info on our new pets and not even say what they are. I bet you're confused as to whether to scratch your watch or wind your ass.


She removed a goldfish from my Piranha tank when i was sleeping... and freed it in the pond. Freakin Psycho... I warned her if she ever does this again. I'll Kill him flowers in her garden:)

First off. Your piranhas are complete pussies. They must take after you. I guess them watching you do wrestling poses in your reflection off the fish tank turned them gay. Even your pussified piranhas couldn't take your "GUNS" much longer.


My piranhas were getting too big for tank. It looked like they were suffering. One died. So i felt really awful. I freed them in the lake by my house. They seemed so happy. They swam away. They have a huge playground now. Lots of food. I'll miss those lil bastards. No more killing pussy goldfish. They can eat ducks now and better fish. Still pretty sad, they were the coolest fish i ever seen. :cry: So violent yet so playful

Speaking of crying for a pet Stampy? Well, atleast there IS a living creature with something big in your house (project?). Anyways, the piranhas were so happy that they got away from you. They were growing curious as to what the big pump in the living room was for.



Anyways, let's get back to your life Stampy. How's it going? I found your lost schedule the other day. Let's see it.

9 AM - Get in the shower
9:07 AM - Wonders how a shower works
9:52 AM - Finally starts his shower
9:54 AM - Exits the shower
11 AM - Mother wakes up
11:30 AM - Mom yells at Stampy to get her vodka and smokes
Noon - Stampy prays for lost piranhas
1 PM - Sister leaves house for her corner job
2 PM - Stampy sneaks a peak at porn online
2:05 PM - Mom yells at Stampy to get her vodka and smokes
3 PM - Stampy poses in front of mirror for future wrestling career
5 PM - Stampy finishes posing
5:01 PM - Stampy watches RAW
7 PM - Mom yells at Stampy to get her vodka and smokes
9 PM - Stampy puts on his "The Rock" underpants and goes to bed
1 AM - Sister comes home looking "nice"

STAMPY
02-15-2005, 12:58 PM
Things CRISIS did to get over the tramatic loss of his deceased cat Snowball...

1. He watched Pet Semetry over and over again... In hopes of a rebirth

2. Went to build a bear... and built a kitty bear, God knows what he did with it, but there were stains found on the kitten a week later. Draw your own conclusions?

3. Had a temple in his room in the memory of Snowball, which meant MC HAMMER shrine came down :( You Can't Touch This Hammer!

4. Took his frustrations out on food, battle of the bulge as they say... 1st purchase you say? LIFE TIME SUPPLY of KIT KATs

5. Purchased the Classic book titled 101 Uses for a Dead Cat
by SIMON BOND

6. Had one of those animal stuffed decorations... Cat Mummification if you will... So he can hang his dead cat over his bed and do very very kinky things and never FORGET, Plus now he can't even get rejected from the kitty!

7. Attacked internet sites such as savetoby.com and rabbitranson.com... Basically became MR PETA... So feminine :limp:

8. To get over tough times... he found new hobbies... such as collecting Hello Kitty Merchandise. He lead his life in the Hello Kitty Way Of Life
(Hello Kitty was born on November 1st and she lives in London, England with her parents and her twin sister, Mimmy. They have lots of friends at school with whom they share many adventures. Her hobbies include traveling, music, reading, eating yummy cookies her sister Mimmy bakes, and best of all making new friends. As Hello Kitty always says, you can never have too many friends)

9. I don't even wanna mention what he did on the Anniversary of the suicide of the POS kitty.

He's trying we gotta give it to him CRISIS is goin thru alotta pain guys :evil:

Crisis
02-15-2005, 06:25 PM
Things CRISIS did to get over the tramatic loss of his deceased cat Snowball...

1. He watched Pet Semetry over and over again... In hopes of a rebirth

2. Went to build a bear... and built a kitty bear, God knows what he did with it, but there were stains found on the kitten a week later. Draw your own conclusions?

3. Had a temple in his room in the memory of Snowball, which meant MC HAMMER shrine came down :( You Can't Touch This Hammer!

4. Took his frustrations out on food, battle of the bulge as they say... 1st purchase you say? LIFE TIME SUPPLY of KIT KATs

5. Purchased the Classic book titled 101 Uses for a Dead Cat
by SIMON BOND

6. Had one of those animal stuffed decorations... Cat Mummification if you will... So he can hang his dead cat over his bed and do very very kinky things and never FORGET, Plus now he can't even get rejected from the kitty!

7. Attacked internet sites such as savetoby.com and rabbitranson.com... Basically became MR PETA... So feminine :limp:

8. To get over tough times... he found new hobbies... such as collecting Hello Kitty Merchandise. He lead his life in the Hello Kitty Way Of Life
(Hello Kitty was born on November 1st and she lives in London, England with her parents and her twin sister, Mimmy. They have lots of friends at school with whom they share many adventures. Her hobbies include traveling, music, reading, eating yummy cookies her sister Mimmy bakes, and best of all making new friends. As Hello Kitty always says, you can never have too many friends)

9. I don't even wanna mention what he did on the Anniversary of the suicide of the POS kitty.

He's trying we gotta give it to him CRISIS is goin thru alotta pain guys :evil:

I'm proud of you Stampy. One post, and no visible asterisks. This is big. But, to put it into perspective, BlowHawk is a sports writer, so I guess anything is possible. Pretty soon you'll stop capitalicising random words and will actually not look like a total ****** that looks like English is your 3rd language, and you don't even have a 1st or 2nd.

We're gonna talk about my weight? I'm not the one who brags about my "Free Willy" arms. I have an idea on how to lose some weight though. Stop spending your welfare checks on cheep beer at Tops that made your stomach the first never-ending jiggling machine, and maybe then Free Willy will be actually able to fit in the door to McDonalds.

Thanks for the suggestions Stampy, but if I wanted advice from someone of your intelligence, I'd be in the vegetable department of Wegmans right now.

I can already picture your next post.


LOOK at this ****ing DEAD CAT. I ****ed HIS slut and OMG I DIG IT. My GUNS are FINALLY back in the gym. ITS ONLY been 2 years.

[insert juiced up wrestling quote here]

STAMPY
02-15-2005, 06:42 PM
great arguments CRISIS... :loser:

Hey guys look what i have came across... I found this picture on NymphoAnimalWackers.com

None other than Good Ole CRISIS getting it on with another cat. Guess Somebody got over the loss of Snowball mighty fast. :mad:

You're a fast mover pal. But man that cat looks punished. You are something else CRISIS. I've never come across such a man, as yourself. Well here is the picture, you guys can draw your own conclusions.

My fellow Bills fans. We can not let this continue. we can not allow this disgusting, illegal action to continue. We must Fight the good Fight. I head of people being disgusting criminals by involving themselves in Kiddie Porn, But Kitty Porn UGH... We need to put him behind bars, and when i say behind bars I Do Not mean in an animal Shelter, because that will be his Salvation! His Heaven!!!

Crisis
02-15-2005, 06:53 PM
great arguments CRISIS... :loser:

Hey guys look what i have came across... I found this picture on NymphoAnimalWackers.com

None other than Good Ole CRISIS getting it on with another cat. Guess Somebody got over the loss of Snowball mighty fast. :mad:

You're a fast mover pal. But man that cat looks punished. You are something else CRISIS. I've never come across such a man, as yourself. Well here is the picture, you guys can draw your own conclusions.

My fellow Bills fans. We can not let this continue. we can not allow this disgusting, illegal action to continue. We must Fight the good Fight. I head of people being disgusting criminals by involving themselves in Kiddie Porn, But Kitty Porn UGH... We need to put him behind bars, and when i say behind bars I Do Not mean in an animal Shelter, because that will be his Salvation! His Heaven!!!

http://img236.exs.cx/img236/7476/crisis19ga.th.gif (http://img236.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img236&image=crisis19ga.gif)

Maybe I was wrong Stampy. You're IQ might be a tad higher than the vegetables. You still got nothing on the meat section, though.

I'm just curious why you were on an beastality site. I do think it's cute that you wanna find a whale in your species to mate with. It's touching. It really is. Oh well, guess it's not any of my business. Just remember to clear your history and cookies before mom calls for her smokes again.

If only you knew what you were talking about, you'd be very dangerous. Now you can go ride on your tri-cycle with the 4th wheel attached for more ******ation assurace. I'll get this done quick, so you have time to go buy a new syringe tonight.

Anyways, it's been fun Stampy. But it's evident you're out of your depth here. Hell, what am I talking about. You'd be out of depth in a puddle in front of the grocery store.

lordofgun
02-16-2005, 11:09 AM
Over 15 hours since the last post. I'm calling this one.

Voting will be closed at midnight.<!-- / message -->

Gunzlingr
02-16-2005, 11:21 AM
Stampy was in a groove, but dwelt on the dead cat too long. Crisis all the way.

Forward_Lateral
02-16-2005, 11:31 AM
Crisis whipped his ass.

Michael82
02-16-2005, 02:28 PM
Crisis destroyed Stampy. :snicker:

honey
02-16-2005, 02:46 PM
Stampy was in a groove, but dwelt on the dead cat too long. Crisis all the way.
I agree. The first post Stampy had about the cat was devastating (great insults), but he kicked it around too much. Should have moved on to other material.

chernobylwraiths
02-16-2005, 04:26 PM
I agree. The first post Stampy had about the cat was devastating (great insults), but he kicked it around too much. Should have moved on to other material.

Great insults? :confused:

honey
02-16-2005, 04:34 PM
Great insults? :confused:
It is an insult contest, after all. :chuckle:

Novacane
02-16-2005, 04:42 PM
I can't vote for any guy that loves cats :limp: Stampy wins

Crisis
02-16-2005, 04:50 PM
I can't vote for any guy that loves cats :limp: Stampy wins

Good. I can't vote for anyone that needs to bribe votes to win. :loser: :loser:

Alston11
02-16-2005, 05:34 PM
crisis kicked the crap outta stampy
sry stampy but i got to give this one to crisis