(FINAL) QUARTERFINALS: Mr. Reality defeats regor 21-15

[lordofgun]

QUARTERFINALS: Mr. Reality vs. regor

READ THE RULES CAREFULLY!

Round 2 will be single sentences. Say whatever the heck you want, but do it in one sentence jabs only. Make sure it's funny and insulting. And please refer to the rules in the sticky thread if you have any questions.

Here are the details:
- Technically, you do not need to take turns! But there is a catch!
- If you post more than once in a row, you must wait a minimum of three hours to post back to back insults. In other words, if you post your insult, and your opponent does not post a retort to your insult within three hours, you may post another insult. You may post immediately following your opponent's post, however.
- This round ends Monday at 2:30PM

Note for the voters: When the polls open, you should deduct points for run-on sentences, as they are technically improper sentences. Also, deduct points for canned one-liners that appear to be unoriginal.


Either of the contestants may begin the contest with an insult. Ready...go.

[Novacane]

Hey Mr. Reality, If I throw a stick will you leave billszone?

[Mr.Reality]

No, but if you throw a fit, I might laugh.

[Novacane]

While you and bikerbabe :hump: does she read a book so she can get some sort of pleasure too?

[Mr.Reality]

If I had a face that screamed bukkake like yours I'd go to Mexico and get a boob job.

[Novacane]

Why did you ask your doctor is they made "extra strength" viagra?

[Mr.Reality]

Your ass has been abused so many times you've gotton into the habit of wearing your boxers backwards.

[Novacane]

Your wife never believed in hell until she married you.

[Mr.Reality]

In the movie Faces of Death, you were the monkey.

[Novacane]

Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?

[Mr.Reality]

You could tell your whole life story in one sentence, but then you'd be only insulting yourself.

[Novacane]

You would be doing better in this contest is buffalosabres04 was writing your insults.

[Mr.Reality]

Regor's dreams of life beyond the shelter were dashed when he was fired from his garage sale job for skimming profits.

[Novacane]

I don't know what makes Mr. Reality so dumb but it sure is working.

[Mr.Reality]

Please stop repping me saying your name spelled backwards means ***.

[Novacane]

You must not have read Logs intruction post where it said to make sure it's funny and insulting.

[Mr.Reality]

So. . . how much does Guiness charge you to rent out the world's smallest brain?

[Novacane]

Speaking of brains I heard you're so stupid you sold your car to get gas money.

[Mr.Reality]

It took you 21 years to realize your trailor didn't have a steering wheel and a motor.

[Novacane]

Looking at the time I was gonna tell you to get some rest for work tomorrow but then I remembered you're a postal employee.

[Mr.Reality]

I'm gonna set my alarm for every 3 hours just to call you an A-hole.

[Novacane]

You won't need your alarm since bikerbabe has to wake you up to change your diaper twice a night.

[Mr.Reality]

You talk a lot about sex; too bad you have a face that looks like you went bobbing for lobsters.

[Novacane]

You know, you would be able to get to sleep if you'd stop giving yourself enimas for pleasure.

[Mr.Reality]

Every one of your posts is an internet enema of stupidity.

[Mr.Reality]

Is your face delivery or DiGiorno?

[Novacane]

I don't think your jokes have been the lamest ones in this contest but whats my opinon compared to everyone else here.

[Novacane]

You talk a lot about sex.



You could talk about it too if you could just remember what it was like!

[Mr.Reality]

That means a lot coming from somebody who just declared Jihad on wet dreams.

[Mr.Reality]

He Regor, do you ever wonder why all your baby pictures have a little red circle with a line drawn through 'em?

[Mr.Reality]

This is about as entertaining as watching three lepers in a game of twister.

[Novacane]

Your vacuum cleaner would stop breaking down if it was'nt always filled with ***.

[Mr.Reality]

Niether would your head.

[Novacane]

You really should stop waiting until your fingernails are caked with **** to clip them.

[Mr.Reality]

You should have taken that same advice when you accepted your brother's hand-me-down condoms.

[Novacane]

This is about as entertaining as watching three lepers in a game of twister.



Is'nt it kind of lame to be using the same lines bikerbabe uses on you in the bedroom?

[Mr.Reality]

And about as subtle as that “Property of Hell’s Angels” tattoo on your boyfriend’s butt.

[Novacane]

You're a dumb ****!

[Mr.Reality]

When scientists unearthed Regor’s skull two years after the great earthquake of 2020, they predicted it to be at least 10 million years old.

[Novacane]

Why are you :posrep: every one of my posts in this thread with the comment "Thank You"?

[Mr.Reality]

For the same reason I thank you every time you get up off your knees.

[Novacane]

For the same reason I thank you every time you get up off your knees.



No need to thank me, I enjoy giving your wife an orgasim!

[Mr.Reality]

It's not her problem you spit when you talk.

[Novacane]

It's not her problem you spit when you talk.


If she'd shave her pussy I'd would'nt spit!

[Mr.Reality]

If'd you'd did't'd spit'd, nobody'd know'd you'd been'd talking'd.

[Novacane]

Did your postmaster discipline you for delivering all the playgirl mags with the pages stuck together?

[Mr.Reality]

So give me the lowdown on all the perks to being the poster boy for stem cell research. . .

[Novacane]

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

[Mr.Reality]

I dream of a world where politicians will create breathing and non-breathing public areas for your turd-breath.

[Novacane]

I may be wrong but I doubt that box of Exlax you ate is going to help you crap out the dildo you stuck up your ass.

[Mr.Reality]

Chances are pretty fair that if you ate another 10 suppositories you'd knock down a lot of barriers keeping you from being an effective communicator.

[Mr.Reality]

Regor’s intellect is about as graceful as a break-dancing sloth.

[Novacane]

Michael Jackson and Catholic Priests are choir boys compared to you pervert!

[Novacane]

You smell so bad people have started calling you the walking fart!

[Mr.Reality]

You’re the kind of guy who rips off blind Salvation Army ladies for the bell.

[Novacane]

You’re the kind of guy who rips off blind Salvation Army ladies for the bell.


You're the kind of guy who rapes them.

[Mr.Reality]

It's not really necessary to quote the proceeding post, balsa wood brain.

[Novacane]

It's not really necessary to quote the proceeding post, balsa wood brain.





I like quoting them so the voters have to read your stupid jokes twice!

[Mr.Reality]

I didn’t know ***holes could have aneurisms until I read your hysterical jibberish.

[Novacane]

You've been butt ****ed so much your boyfriends call your a-hole the Lincoln tunnel.

[Mr.Reality]

Isn’t it about time to rotate the tires on your house?

[Novacane]

Either you're so poor you can't afford toilet paper or you just enjoy wiping with your bare hand!

[Mr.Reality]

Your so poor your homemade cure for hemorrhoids is to suck 'em till the poison's out.

[Novacane]

Spoken like someone with experience sticking thier head up thier ass!

[Mr.Reality]

I'm sure God won't mean anything personal when you get to St. Peter's gate and he says he wants to take a mulligan. . .

[Mr.Reality]

You think reading Dr. Seuss backwards contains Satanic messages (“you are a dweeby, demonic, dyslexic, dork”).

[Novacane]

You look like something the wolf ate and **** over the cliff!

[Mr.Reality]

If you were the wolf the three pigs would have built a house made of blow up dolls so as not to confuse you.

[Novacane]

You should stop letting your mind wander, it's to small to be going out on it's own!

[Mr.Reality]

it's to small to be going out on it's own!
Your zipper tells you the same thing every time you go to pee. . .

[Novacane]

I know thats just jealousy talking because bikerbabe say's mines the biggest she's ever had.

[Mr.Reality]

Unfortunately for you she was talking about social service folders.

[Novacane]

I always thought you were :limp: but it's confirmed now that bikerbabe told me what your homepage (http://profiles.yahoo.com/philusaf) is!

[Mr.Reality]

I think I know what a canned insult is now.

[Novacane]

Thanks for the tip but I'm just wondering, how do you know your mom gives great blowjobs?

[Mr.Reality]

I guess I don't--my wife doesn't leave me fantasizing about everybody else's wife and mom like yours does--but if you want to tell me about the rest of the dream you had last night, I'll listen out of boredom.

[Novacane]

I know you ran out of funny one liners about 74 posts ago so I guess I'll excuse you using -- and -- to try and turn 3 sentences into 1! :crazy:

[Mr.Reality]

Don't cry to me if all obedience school taught you was how to relieve yourself on newspaper.

[Novacane]

but if you want to tell me about the rest of the dream you had last night, I'll listen out of boredom.



The best part of it was when you got hit by a car!

[Mr.Reality]

Regor, isn’t it about time to take your Ritalin before you start humping your folding kitchen chairs again?

[Novacane]

What it's time for is you to take your viagra so you'll be able jack off when spongebob comes on.

[Mr.Reality]

viagra
The pill alone is twice as long as what you refer to as your "thumb harp."

[Novacane]

The pill alone is twice as long as what you refer to as your "thumb harp."




So now we know your nickname for Phils penis!

[Mr.Reality]

This is regor: "Hi, I'm like. . . regor, and I'm like, a valley girl. . . except I'm not really a valley girl because I'm not really from the valley and I'm a boy and like. . . not heterosexual. . .but. . .I don't know. . . gag me!"

[Mr.Reality]

So now we know your nickname for Phils penis!
A Regor thermometer?

[Mr.Reality]

Regor sounds like Ryan Leaf trying to do standup.

[lordofgun]

OK, TIME IS UP! VOTING WILL BE OPEN UNTIL MIDNIGHT EASTERN!

[Mr.Reality]

Good luck, man.

[Bling]

:scratch:

[Novacane]

Good luck, man.



:peace: Thanks. good match!

[SabreEleven]

This was very close

[Devin]

yeah great match fellas

[SabreEleven]

Regor gets a point off for making me look at Phil and his homepage. :down:

[The_Philster]

Regor gets a point off for making me look at Phil and his homepage. :down:

:huh: My homepage is in my sig :loser:

[SabreEleven]

:huh: My homepage is in my sig :loser:

Thanks for the warning.

[The_Philster]

Thanks for the warning.

No prob..wouldn't want you to see beautiful women or the greatness of tailgating in Buffalo

[Novacane]

I've got a feeling Phil did'nt vote for me :snicker:

[Devin]

lol

[The_Philster]

I've got a feeling Phil did'nt vote for me :snicker:

well what do you expect? You haven't paid me yet :idunno:

[Novacane]

well what do you expect? You haven't paid me yet :idunno:

I'm only paying 1 zonebuck per vote this round :funny:

[The_Philster]

I'm only paying 1 zonebuck per vote this round :funny:

Why's that? It get too expensive spending 100 each per vote the last round? :snicker:

[Alston11]

even.
but im leaning to regor

[BillsFever21]

I had to stick with my fellow Amigo on this one.