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View Full Version : (FINAL) QUARTERFINALS: Mr. Reality defeats regor 21-15



lordofgun
02-17-2005, 01:57 PM
QUARTERFINALS: Mr. Reality vs. regor

READ THE RULES CAREFULLY!

Round 2 will be single sentences. Say whatever the heck you want, but do it in one sentence jabs only. Make sure it's funny and insulting. And please refer to the rules in the sticky thread if you have any questions.

Here are the details:
- Technically, you do not need to take turns! But there is a catch!
- If you post more than once in a row, you must wait a minimum of three hours to post back to back insults. In other words, if you post your insult, and your opponent does not post a retort to your insult within three hours, you may post another insult. You may post immediately following your opponent's post, however.
- This round ends Monday at 2:30PM

Note for the voters: When the polls open, you should deduct points for run-on sentences, as they are technically improper sentences. Also, deduct points for canned one-liners that appear to be unoriginal.


Either of the contestants may begin the contest with an insult. Ready...go.

Novacane
02-17-2005, 02:35 PM
Hey Mr. Reality, If I throw a stick will you leave billszone?

Mr.Reality
02-17-2005, 04:22 PM
No, but if you throw a fit, I might laugh.

Novacane
02-17-2005, 04:50 PM
While you and bikerbabe :hump: does she read a book so she can get some sort of pleasure too?

Mr.Reality
02-17-2005, 04:57 PM
If I had a face that screamed bukkake like yours I'd go to Mexico and get a boob job.

Novacane
02-17-2005, 05:02 PM
Why did you ask your doctor is they made "extra strength" viagra?

Mr.Reality
02-17-2005, 05:40 PM
Your ass has been abused so many times you've gotton into the habit of wearing your boxers backwards.

Novacane
02-17-2005, 06:25 PM
Your wife never believed in hell until she married you.

Mr.Reality
02-17-2005, 06:29 PM
In the movie Faces of Death, you were the monkey.

Novacane
02-17-2005, 06:35 PM
Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?

Mr.Reality
02-17-2005, 06:39 PM
You could tell your whole life story in one sentence, but then you'd be only insulting yourself.

Novacane
02-17-2005, 06:43 PM
You would be doing better in this contest is buffalosabres04 was writing your insults.

Mr.Reality
02-17-2005, 06:58 PM
Regor's dreams of life beyond the shelter were dashed when he was fired from his garage sale job for skimming profits.

Novacane
02-17-2005, 09:03 PM
I don't know what makes Mr. Reality so dumb but it sure is working.

Mr.Reality
02-17-2005, 09:16 PM
Please stop repping me saying your name spelled backwards means ***.

Novacane
02-17-2005, 09:36 PM
You must not have read Logs intruction post where it said to make sure it's funny and insulting.

Mr.Reality
02-17-2005, 09:42 PM
So. . . how much does Guiness charge you to rent out the world's smallest brain?

Novacane
02-17-2005, 09:53 PM
Speaking of brains I heard you're so stupid you sold your car to get gas money.

Mr.Reality
02-17-2005, 10:02 PM
It took you 21 years to realize your trailor didn't have a steering wheel and a motor.

Novacane
02-17-2005, 10:06 PM
Looking at the time I was gonna tell you to get some rest for work tomorrow but then I remembered you're a postal employee.

Mr.Reality
02-17-2005, 10:09 PM
I'm gonna set my alarm for every 3 hours just to call you an A-hole.

Novacane
02-17-2005, 10:22 PM
You won't need your alarm since bikerbabe has to wake you up to change your diaper twice a night.

Mr.Reality
02-17-2005, 10:27 PM
You talk a lot about sex; too bad you have a face that looks like you went bobbing for lobsters.

Novacane
02-17-2005, 10:31 PM
You know, you would be able to get to sleep if you'd stop giving yourself enimas for pleasure.

Mr.Reality
02-17-2005, 10:40 PM
Every one of your posts is an internet enema of stupidity.

Mr.Reality
02-18-2005, 06:23 AM
Is your face delivery or DiGiorno?

Novacane
02-18-2005, 07:04 AM
I don't think your jokes have been the lamest ones in this contest but whats my opinon compared to everyone else here.

Novacane
02-18-2005, 10:10 AM
You talk a lot about sex.



You could talk about it too if you could just remember what it was like!

Mr.Reality
02-18-2005, 12:18 PM
That means a lot coming from somebody who just declared Jihad on wet dreams.

Mr.Reality
02-18-2005, 04:01 PM
He Regor, do you ever wonder why all your baby pictures have a little red circle with a line drawn through 'em?

Mr.Reality
02-18-2005, 07:06 PM
This is about as entertaining as watching three lepers in a game of twister.

Novacane
02-18-2005, 07:35 PM
Your vacuum cleaner would stop breaking down if it was'nt always filled with ***.

Mr.Reality
02-18-2005, 07:37 PM
Niether would your head.

Novacane
02-18-2005, 07:42 PM
You really should stop waiting until your fingernails are caked with **** to clip them.

Mr.Reality
02-18-2005, 07:47 PM
You should have taken that same advice when you accepted your brother's hand-me-down condoms.

Novacane
02-18-2005, 07:50 PM
This is about as entertaining as watching three lepers in a game of twister.



Is'nt it kind of lame to be using the same lines bikerbabe uses on you in the bedroom?

Mr.Reality
02-18-2005, 07:53 PM
And about as subtle as that ďProperty of Hellís AngelsĒ tattoo on your boyfriendís butt.

Novacane
02-18-2005, 07:59 PM
You're a dumb ****!

Mr.Reality
02-18-2005, 08:01 PM
When scientists unearthed Regorís skull two years after the great earthquake of 2020, they predicted it to be at least 10 million years old.

Novacane
02-18-2005, 08:07 PM
Why are you :posrep: every one of my posts in this thread with the comment "Thank You"?

Mr.Reality
02-18-2005, 08:11 PM
For the same reason I thank you every time you get up off your knees.

Novacane
02-18-2005, 08:18 PM
For the same reason I thank you every time you get up off your knees.



No need to thank me, I enjoy giving your wife an orgasim!

Mr.Reality
02-18-2005, 08:45 PM
It's not her problem you spit when you talk.

Novacane
02-18-2005, 08:51 PM
It's not her problem you spit when you talk.


If she'd shave her pussy I'd would'nt spit!

Mr.Reality
02-18-2005, 09:09 PM
If'd you'd did't'd spit'd, nobody'd know'd you'd been'd talking'd.

Novacane
02-18-2005, 09:20 PM
Did your postmaster discipline you for delivering all the playgirl mags with the pages stuck together?

Mr.Reality
02-18-2005, 09:21 PM
So give me the lowdown on all the perks to being the poster boy for stem cell research. . .

Novacane
02-18-2005, 09:28 PM
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

Mr.Reality
02-18-2005, 09:39 PM
I dream of a world where politicians will create breathing and non-breathing public areas for your turd-breath.

Novacane
02-18-2005, 09:52 PM
I may be wrong but I doubt that box of Exlax you ate is going to help you crap out the dildo you stuck up your ass.

Mr.Reality
02-18-2005, 10:02 PM
Chances are pretty fair that if you ate another 10 suppositories you'd knock down a lot of barriers keeping you from being an effective communicator.

Mr.Reality
02-19-2005, 05:40 AM
Regorís intellect is about as graceful as a break-dancing sloth.

Novacane
02-19-2005, 08:29 AM
Michael Jackson and Catholic Priests are choir boys compared to you pervert!

Novacane
02-19-2005, 11:37 AM
You smell so bad people have started calling you the walking fart!

Mr.Reality
02-19-2005, 12:15 PM
Youíre the kind of guy who rips off blind Salvation Army ladies for the bell.

Novacane
02-19-2005, 01:24 PM
Youíre the kind of guy who rips off blind Salvation Army ladies for the bell.


You're the kind of guy who rapes them.

Mr.Reality
02-19-2005, 03:14 PM
It's not really necessary to quote the proceeding post, balsa wood brain.

Novacane
02-19-2005, 03:31 PM
It's not really necessary to quote the proceeding post, balsa wood brain.





I like quoting them so the voters have to read your stupid jokes twice!

Mr.Reality
02-19-2005, 05:27 PM
I didnít know ***holes could have aneurisms until I read your hysterical jibberish.

Novacane
02-19-2005, 07:02 PM
You've been butt ****ed so much your boyfriends call your a-hole the Lincoln tunnel.

Mr.Reality
02-19-2005, 08:08 PM
Isnít it about time to rotate the tires on your house?

Novacane
02-19-2005, 08:22 PM
Either you're so poor you can't afford toilet paper or you just enjoy wiping with your bare hand!

Mr.Reality
02-19-2005, 08:25 PM
Your so poor your homemade cure for hemorrhoids is to suck 'em till the poison's out.

Novacane
02-19-2005, 08:29 PM
Spoken like someone with experience sticking thier head up thier ass!

Mr.Reality
02-19-2005, 09:44 PM
I'm sure God won't mean anything personal when you get to St. Peter's gate and he says he wants to take a mulligan. . .

Mr.Reality
02-20-2005, 07:54 AM
You think reading Dr. Seuss backwards contains Satanic messages (ďyou are a dweeby, demonic, dyslexic, dorkĒ).

Novacane
02-20-2005, 08:57 AM
You look like something the wolf ate and **** over the cliff!

Mr.Reality
02-20-2005, 09:13 AM
If you were the wolf the three pigs would have built a house made of blow up dolls so as not to confuse you.

Novacane
02-20-2005, 11:33 AM
You should stop letting your mind wander, it's to small to be going out on it's own!

Mr.Reality
02-20-2005, 11:44 AM
it's to small to be going out on it's own!
Your zipper tells you the same thing every time you go to pee. . .

Novacane
02-20-2005, 11:55 AM
I know thats just jealousy talking because bikerbabe say's mines the biggest she's ever had.

Mr.Reality
02-20-2005, 12:07 PM
Unfortunately for you she was talking about social service folders.

Novacane
02-20-2005, 12:08 PM
I always thought you were :limp: but it's confirmed now that bikerbabe told me what your homepage (http://profiles.yahoo.com/philusaf) is!

Mr.Reality
02-20-2005, 12:09 PM
I think I know what a canned insult is now.

Novacane
02-20-2005, 12:15 PM
Thanks for the tip but I'm just wondering, how do you know your mom gives great blowjobs?

Mr.Reality
02-20-2005, 12:58 PM
I guess I don't--my wife doesn't leave me fantasizing about everybody else's wife and mom like yours does--but if you want to tell me about the rest of the dream you had last night, I'll listen out of boredom.

Novacane
02-20-2005, 01:55 PM
I know you ran out of funny one liners about 74 posts ago so I guess I'll excuse you using -- and -- to try and turn 3 sentences into 1! :crazy:

Mr.Reality
02-20-2005, 03:19 PM
Don't cry to me if all obedience school taught you was how to relieve yourself on newspaper.

Novacane
02-20-2005, 05:32 PM
but if you want to tell me about the rest of the dream you had last night, I'll listen out of boredom.



The best part of it was when you got hit by a car!

Mr.Reality
02-20-2005, 06:10 PM
Regor, isnít it about time to take your Ritalin before you start humping your folding kitchen chairs again?

Novacane
02-20-2005, 06:18 PM
What it's time for is you to take your viagra so you'll be able jack off when spongebob comes on.

Mr.Reality
02-20-2005, 06:34 PM
viagra
The pill alone is twice as long as what you refer to as your "thumb harp."

Novacane
02-20-2005, 08:04 PM
The pill alone is twice as long as what you refer to as your "thumb harp."




So now we know your nickname for Phils penis!

Mr.Reality
02-20-2005, 08:32 PM
This is regor: "Hi, I'm like. . . regor, and I'm like, a valley girl. . . except I'm not really a valley girl because I'm not really from the valley and I'm a boy and like. . . not heterosexual. . .but. . .I don't know. . . gag me!"

Mr.Reality
02-21-2005, 08:25 AM
So now we know your nickname for Phils penis!
A Regor thermometer?

Mr.Reality
02-21-2005, 12:41 PM
Regor sounds like Ryan Leaf trying to do standup.

lordofgun
02-21-2005, 01:29 PM
OK, TIME IS UP! VOTING WILL BE OPEN UNTIL MIDNIGHT EASTERN!

Mr.Reality
02-21-2005, 01:33 PM
Good luck, man.

Bling
02-21-2005, 01:40 PM
:scratch:

Novacane
02-21-2005, 02:24 PM
Good luck, man.



:peace: Thanks. good match!

SabreEleven
02-21-2005, 02:38 PM
This was very close

Devin
02-21-2005, 02:39 PM
yeah great match fellas

SabreEleven
02-21-2005, 02:40 PM
Regor gets a point off for making me look at Phil and his homepage. :down:

The_Philster
02-21-2005, 02:41 PM
Regor gets a point off for making me look at Phil and his homepage. :down:

:huh: My homepage is in my sig :loser:

SabreEleven
02-21-2005, 02:41 PM
:huh: My homepage is in my sig :loser:

Thanks for the warning.

The_Philster
02-21-2005, 02:43 PM
Thanks for the warning.

No prob..wouldn't want you to see beautiful women or the greatness of tailgating in Buffalo

Novacane
02-21-2005, 02:44 PM
I've got a feeling Phil did'nt vote for me :snicker:

Devin
02-21-2005, 02:44 PM
lol

The_Philster
02-21-2005, 02:45 PM
I've got a feeling Phil did'nt vote for me :snicker:

well what do you expect? You haven't paid me yet :idunno:

Novacane
02-21-2005, 02:46 PM
well what do you expect? You haven't paid me yet :idunno:

I'm only paying 1 zonebuck per vote this round :funny:

The_Philster
02-21-2005, 02:47 PM
I'm only paying 1 zonebuck per vote this round :funny:

Why's that? It get too expensive spending 100 each per vote the last round? :snicker:

Alston11
02-21-2005, 06:46 PM
even.
but im leaning to regor

BillsFever21
02-21-2005, 07:40 PM
I had to stick with my fellow Amigo on this one.