(FINAL) QUARTERFINALS: crisis defeats dannyek71 15-13

[lordofgun]

READ THE RULES CAREFULLY!

Round 2 will be single sentences. Say whatever the heck you want, but do it in one sentence jabs only. Make sure it's funny and insulting. And please refer to the rules in the sticky thread if you have any questions.

Here are the details:
- Technically, you do not need to take turns! But there is a catch!
- If you post more than once in a row, you must wait a minimum of three hours to post back to back insults. In other words, if you post your insult, and your opponent does not post a retort to your insult within three hours, you may post another insult. You may post immediately following your opponent's post, however.
- This round ends Monday at 2:30PM

Note for the voters: When the polls open, you should deduct points for run-on sentences, as they are technically improper sentences. Also, deduct points for canned one-liners that appear to be unoriginal.


Either of the contestants may begin the contest with an insult. Ready...go.

[Crisis]

Another opponent who has brain cells on the endangered species list.

[dannyek71]

Another opponent who has brain cells on the endangered species list.

Your brain cells left the endagered species list a couple of months ago, and ended up on the side of a charmin.

[Crisis]

Only thing that post accomplished was making 90% of the board looking forward to blindness.

[Crisis]

Too bad your dad screwed a plant and raised a blooming moron.

[dannyek71]

Go to the sperm bank and donate about 50 male specimens of sperm by holding your butt over a beaker and let it all drain out.

[dannyek71]

Crisis is the only person that I know that makes their underpants actually whiter when they fart

[Crisis]

Go to the sperm bank and donate about 50 male specimens of sperm by holding your butt over a beaker and let it all drain out.

That's worse than your last idea of going into an alley and sucking it out of a "hose."

[dannyek71]

Last time Crises was able to walk out of the sperm bank with enough money to buy a big screen tv, and all he had to do was throw up

[Crisis]

It'd be easier to read your posts if I didn't know that your face is listed as a biological weapon; or if that pimple in the middle of your ass didn't turn out to be a brain tumor.

[dannyek71]

At least its a pimple on my ass and not an std like you have in the center for yours

[Crisis]

You qualify for the ******-express line; 5 thoughts or less.

[Crisis]

I wonder what your life would be like if you had enough oxygen when you were born.

[dannyek71]

Nice to see you had very social things to do on a friday night @10pm, such as post here

[dannyek71]

Still not back yet i see, must have had a wild night last night at bar "The Greasy Pole"

[Crisis]

You're a perfect example of the dinosaurs living for thousands of years with pea-nut sized brains.

[dannyek71]

Your the perfect example of why a mother should not fart during conception

[Crisis]

And your mom shouldn't of been allowed to sleep with other lab experiments.

[Crisis]

The last time you were in a woman was when you visited the Statue of Liberty.

[dannyek71]

The last time you were in a woman was when you visited the Statue of Liberty.
That seriously may have been the weakest insult ive ever heard

[Crisis]

I've had better conversations with my Campbell's Soup.

[dannyek71]

I saw a picture of your girlfriend today, and I send my most heartfelt condolences.

[Crisis]

What a coincidence, I saw your girlfriend on the Martha Stewart prison special on A&E last night.

[dannyek71]

My question is this, does your signature make sense to anyone?

[Crisis]

You have the kind of face that gets shoved into dough thats used to make monster cookies.

[dannyek71]

You have the kind of face that gets shoved into dough thats used to make monster cookies.

You have the kind of privates that are used to mold peas and cocktail weiners

[Crisis]

You have the kind of intelligence only rivaled by the participants in the Anna Nicole Smith show.

[dannyek71]

You couldnt get laid at a Paris Hilton convention

[Crisis]

And you couldn't get laid if you were a herm.

[dannyek71]

Your about as useful as birth control is to a mexican

[Crisis]

You're about as useful as class to Randy Moss.

[dannyek71]

Your about as useful as the word "spit" is to your sister

[lordofgun]

OK, TIME IS UP! VOTING WILL BE OPEN UNTIL MIDNIGHT EASTERN!

[dannyek71]

Nice job crises and :peace:

[Bling]

I didn't read it, and didn't want to so I voted for Crisis.

[dannyek71]

I didn't read it, and didn't want to so I voted for Crisis.
?

[Mr. Miyagi]

:rofl: dannyboy got my vote. He came on strong towards the end. :up:

[dannyek71]

:rofl: dannyboy got my vote. He came on strong towards the end. :up:

Thanks, I was busy all weekend with the gf, so it was hard to think of/make decent posts. So that hindered my effort (not to take any credit away from the fine insults made by crises :clap: )

[Alston11]

this was pretty boring compared to the others. but danny came good near the end so danny gets my vote

[STAMPY]

Crisis 5 different ISP votes tomorrow Against you at school Lab :up:

[Crisis]

Didn't realise your elementary school still let you use their computers.

[dannyek71]

congrats crises

[Crisis]

Thanks Danny.

Good match.

[Bling]

Sorry danny, if I read your thread, maybe you'd have my vote and it'd be a tie.