(FINAL) QUARTERFINALS: OpIv37 defeats Devin 20-12

[lordofgun]

READ THE RULES CAREFULLY!

Round 2 will be single sentences. Say whatever the heck you want, but do it in one sentence jabs only. Make sure it's funny and insulting. And please refer to the rules in the sticky thread if you have any questions.

Here are the details:
- Technically, you do not need to take turns! But there is a catch!
- If you post more than once in a row, you must wait a minimum of three hours to post back to back insults. In other words, if you post your insult, and your opponent does not post a retort to your insult within three hours, you may post another insult. You may post immediately following your opponent's post, however.
- This round ends Monday at 2:30PM

Note for the voters: When the polls open, you should deduct points for run-on sentences, as they are technically improper sentences. Also, deduct points for canned one-liners that appear to be unoriginal.


Either of the contestants may begin the contest with an insult. Ready...go.

[Devin]

OpIv37 I see you have set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public again.

[OpIv37]

Yeah, I'm humilating myself by hanging out with you, but the money you pay me to feign being your friend in public makes it worthwhile.

[Devin]

Thats so cute, I didn't know regurgitated cheetos could talk

[OpIv37]

I'm surprised you were able to take your hands out of your pants long enough to type that last sentence.

[Devin]

Me to.

[OpIv37]

I'm sure it's because you saw some naked women, which made you lose your hard-on.

[Devin]

Yeah your right, your wife doesnt do it for me like she used to.

[OpIv37]

Probably because she's not a teenager- I know how much statutory rape turns you on.

[Devin]

Yeah I enjoy ladies of all ages, do you put on age limit on the boys that turn you on?

[OpIv37]

You may enjoy the ladies- they definitely don't enjoy you.

[Devin]

Shut up you're dumb.

[OpIv37]

Shut up you're dumb.

This is going to be easier than I thought- we're only a few hours into the 4 days and you're already stealing jokes from your 3-year-old "oops baby" sister.

[Devin]

You may enjoy the ladies- they definitely don't enjoy you.

Yeah cause you've been doing nothing but hitting homers yourself.

[OpIv37]

Having a conversation with you is less appealing than simultaneously having a root canal and a colonoscopy.

[Devin]

I'm going to become rich after I invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet

[OpIv37]

Good for you- you'll finally be able to afford shoes and toothpaste.

[Devin]

Your right, Ill have a bright shiny smile while I kick your ass.

[OpIv37]

Your right, Ill have a bright shiny smile while I kick your ass.

I'm more worried about you trying to **** it than kicking it.

[Devin]

What can I say when you wear your dress you make a pretty hot chick.

[OpIv37]

It's amazing how the government requires a license to FISH, but they do nothing prevent society's leeches like your parents from reproducing and polluting the planet with the rotting fruit of their loins.

[Devin]

you are to mankind what a gelatinous mass of donkey vomit is to gourmet food

[OpIv37]

If it wasn't for GHB you'd still be a virgin.

[Devin]

If you were the owner of a viable braincell, you might have aspired to something other than felching the bottom of the food chain.

[OpIv37]

and if you were the owner of some acne medication, little kids wouldn't cry when they looked at you.

[Devin]

I fail to comprehend how you can function at any level with an I.Q that is seven degrees below whale ****.

[OpIv37]

Why is it that every date you've ever had has ended with the girl screaming "What the hell are you doing, you little freak"?

[Devin]

To be honest if you sucked anymore you would inhale your own dick.

[OpIv37]

Some people develop more slowly- don't worry, eventually your other testicle will drop.

[Devin]

If there was such a thing as supergay............it would be you.

[OpIv37]

If there was such a thing as superlame it would be your insults- maybe you'll grow up once you finally graduate 3rd grade and start hanging around people your own age.

[Devin]

They really ruined a perfect rectum when they put teeth in that hole you call your mouth!

[OpIv37]

And you've spent more than enough times in gay bath houses to know a perfect rectum when you see one.

[Devin]

Your last statement and given your appearance you have just answered the age old question of "Did the white man ever **** the Buffalo"!

[OpIv37]

You must have intimate knowledge of the Watergate scandal- all the local crack dealers call you "Deep Throat"

[Devin]

does everyone refer to you as "putrid mass of walking vomit" or is that just me?

[OpIv37]

You need to get a real job- meeting men on the Internet and letting them piss on you for money is not a legitimate occupation.

[Devin]

Neither is using your mouth as a dick holster.

[Devin]

you're a lot like a pack of skittles.........soft and fruity.

[OpIv37]

Devin went to a shrink to find out why he always cries after sex- it was the shortest therapy session on record because the shrink simply said "Shoving a 9-inch dildo up your ass while you strangle yourself and apply nipple clamps doesn't count as sex".

[Devin]

You know for being a neutered spastic you sure do know a lot about dildo's.

[OpIv37]

your mom and your sister are insatiable- I need to use the dildos on them to give myself a break on occasion.

[OpIv37]

It's impossible to tell when you're talking out of your ass and when you have diarrhea of the mouth.

[Devin]

Neato that insult has only been used in lame email forwards for half a decade now, then again your whole life is pretty much a lame email forward.

[OpIv37]

You get a physical every other week because the "cough test" and the prostate exam are as close as you can get to actually having sex.

[Devin]

That and I have a female doctor.

[OpIv37]

That and I have a female doctor.
which is good because it's the only way you'll get anyone other than a male relative to touch you "down there".

[Devin]

Says the guy with a penis receptacle for a mouth.

[OpIv37]

Your unhealthy obsession with penises is starting to frighten me.

[Devin]

Your unhealthy obsession with ambiguously dressed men frightens me

[OpIv37]

What can I say when you wear your dress you make a pretty hot chick.


Your unhealthy obsession with penises is starting to frighten me.


I'm sure it took all 3 of your brain cells to combine these two posts and try to pass it off as a new insult.

[Devin]

You may enjoy the ladies- they definitely don't enjoy you.

If mine only took 3 braincells, wtf did you use to come up with this gem?

[OpIv37]

If mine only took 3 braincells, wtf did you use to come up with this gem?

I think the guy who posted "Shut up. You're dumb" just put his huge fungus-covered foot in his mouth by criticizing someone else's insult, although I suppose it's not the worst-tasting thing you've had in your mouth this weekend.

[Devin]

Your wife is a lot like bricks, dirty, flat on both her sides, and gets laid by Mexicans.

[OpIv37]

Your mouth is a lot like a hen house- dirty, noisy, and it's impossible to keep the ***** out.

[Devin]

May your wife be blessed with many bastards because on a scale of one to ten, you're an a$$****.

[OpIv37]

May your wife be blessed with many bastards because on a scale of one to ten, you're an a$$****.

trying to find the meaning of this post is like trying to find a spot on your genitals that isn't covered in herpes- it just ain't gonna happen.

[Devin]

I hope when you get home your mother runs out from under the porch and bites you

[OpIv37]

I hope when you get home your mother runs out from under the porch and bites you
I was going to use this canned insult on you, except it doesn't apply since mobile homes don't have porches.

[Devin]

You truly look like some horribly bizarre cross between a used Rosie O'Donnel tampon and a discolored testicle.

[OpIv37]

And all the STD's you have makes you the world's leading expert on discolored testicles.

[Devin]

Who spit in your testube you serial sock raping incontinent sack of aids
Footnote: You suck

[lordofgun]

OK, TIME IS UP! VOTING WILL BE OPEN UNTIL MIDNIGHT EASTERN!

[Devin]

Good game dude, was a lot of fun.

[OpIv37]

Good game dude, was a lot of fun.

that it was- let the voting begin

[fallen151]

Good Job guys!

[SabreEleven]

Close match, I have to go brush my teeth after reading these posts. Good job both of you.

[OpIv37]

Good Job guys!


Close match, I have to go brush my teeth after reading these posts. Good job both of you.
thanks guys

[Mr.Reality]

I have to go brush my teeth after reading these posts.
:rofl:

I need some Visine. That **** burned.

[mybills]

Sorry OpI, I voted for Devin because he said, "shut up, you're dumb" :funny:

[Devin]

lol, apparently for this crowd i need to dumb it down a bit "girls dont like you" is the in thing

Didnt think id beat the #3 and #2 seed :(

[OpIv37]

lol, apparently for this crowd i need to dumb it down a bit "girls dont like you" is the in thing

Didnt think id beat the #3 and #2 seed :(

Oh, come on- that was one momentary lapse of judgement, and you offset it with "Shut up you're dumb".

Anyway I'm kinda surprised- I thought it was a very close match and you finished strong.

[Devin]

lol just comparing our different "styles" yours clearly is the favored one :)

good luck in the next round!

[OpIv37]

lol just comparing our different "styles" yours clearly is the favored one :)

good luck in the next round!

thanks

[Alston11]

Shut up you're dumb.
:rofl:

that was great

[Mr. Miyagi]

AssClown vs OpIv? This could be interesting...

[Devin]

:rofl:

that was great

lol thanks, apparently my rare humor is not valued.

Next round should be killer though.

[OpIv37]

lol thanks, apparently my rare humor is not valued.

Next round should be killer though.


All small penis jokes- 97 days.

[Devin]

LMFAO!