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View Full Version : (FINAL)SEMIFINALS: SabreEleven Defeats OpIv37 18-15


lordofgun
02-22-2005, 03:10 PM
SEMIFINALS: SabreEleven vs. OpIv37

It's time for limericks! That's right, not only does it take original insults, but also some skill to win this game.

For the uneducated, a limerick is a five-line poem written with one couplet and one triplet. If a couplet is a two-line rhymed poem, then a triplet would be a three-line rhymed poem. The rhyme pattern is a a b b a with lines 1, 2 and 5 containing 3 beats and rhyming, and lines 3 and 4 having two beats and rhyming. Some people say that the limerick was invented by soldiers returning from France to the Irish town of Limerick in the 1700's.

Ex:

There once was a parson named Bings
Who talked about God and such things.
But his secret desire
Was to join a mixed choir
With nice ladies with whom he'd have flings.

Please note that I did not write the above limerick. It sucks.

Notice lines 1, 2, and 5 rhyme and lines 3 and 4 rhyme.

If that's too tough for you, you shouldn't be here, and deserve to lose.

Each contestant will take turns insulting each other. This round will consist of just 5 turns apiece, so make them good.

IMPORTANT: You should write ONLY a 5-line limerick in each post, NOTHING ELSE! Voters should deduct points for any words typed which are not a part of a limerick.

And remember, no editing your post once it's submitted!

SabreEleven will go first. (smallest margin of victory in last round)
SabreEleven
02-22-2005, 04:54 PM
So I'm guessing you're 37
And they call you Oral Heaven
Cuz you're good with the boys
For polishing their toys
Outside of 7-Eleven
OpIv37
02-22-2005, 05:56 PM
Sabre11 took on a dare
He said "I'll fix my house- I swear"
He painted the side
then said with pride
"It no longer says 'Frigidaire'"!!
SabreEleven
02-22-2005, 06:35 PM
OpIv likes to dress as a queen
With his penis taped up & unseen
Made a lot of money
Making men upload their honey
And never quit until his belly was full with protein
OpIv37
02-22-2005, 06:57 PM
There once was a queer named AssClown
He met a gay man and went down
The man said "I'll Pitch
AssClown's my *****"
and in a sea of man-juice they drowned
SabreEleven
02-23-2005, 01:06 PM
Your mom called you one day
Said "Son I need a lay"
I know it's sick
But I need your dick
Hell, I will even pay
OpIv37
02-23-2005, 01:19 PM
Sabre purchased a candy bar
Lured an 8 year old into his car
He unzipped his pants
she took a glance
and said "I've seen dicks bigger by far"
SabreEleven
02-23-2005, 02:53 PM
Your mom called you one day
Said "Son I need a lay"
I know it's sick
But I need your dick
Hell, I will even pay

So you said "Listen, *****
I know you got the itch
But when it comes to love
I prefer to get shoved
And never really pitch"
OpIv37
02-23-2005, 03:58 PM
Sabre's dad caught him jacking
He said "Son quit yer whacking
Go to my bed
and give me head
Then we'll do some fudge-packing"
SabreEleven
02-23-2005, 08:46 PM
So you said "Listen, *****
I know you got the itch
But when it comes to love
I prefer to get shoved
And never really pitch"

"But I'll tell you where to find
a stud with a firm behind
Try billsfanone
He's tons of fun
I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

So next day you dropped by
To see if mom's satisfy
She said "Thanks to that midget
I'm now all frigid!"
And that's how you got that black eye.
OpIv37
02-23-2005, 10:46 PM
Sabre's dad caught him jacking
He said "Son quit yer whacking
Go to my bed
and give me head
Then we'll do some fudge-packing"

This was fine with the AssClown
He said "Gay sex- I'm always down
But, Dad, Don't be shocked
By the sores on my ****
I got herpes from the drag queens downtown"
northernbillfan
02-24-2005, 03:34 AM
Since it's been five turns each we can comment....

First off, great round guys. Some good limericks.

Rules say:

IMPORTANT: You should write ONLY a 5-line limerick in each post, NOTHING ELSE! Voters should deduct points for any words typed which are not a part of a limerick.
:rofl:

"But I'll tell you where to find
a stud with a firm behind
Try billsfanone
He's tons of fun
I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

So next day you dropped by
To see if mom's satisfy
She said "Thanks to that midget
I'm now all frigid!"
And that's how you got that black eye.
mybills
02-24-2005, 05:45 AM
But he wasn't done with the story! :chuckle:
Earthquake Enyart
02-24-2005, 06:15 AM
Clown and drowned don't rhyme. :::

AssClown's first one won it.
Mr.Reality
02-24-2005, 06:19 AM
I thought Assclown trying to sneak another limerick in there was funny. I'll vote later. This one is pretty close.
Mr. Miyagi
02-24-2005, 08:40 AM
I like the continuation of the 4 verse story. ButtClown got mine vote. :rofl:
DraftBoy
02-24-2005, 09:08 AM
Assclown all the way
OpIv37
02-24-2005, 09:09 AM
So you said "Listen, *****
I know you got the itch
But when it comes to love
I prefer to get shoved
And never really pitch"


Clown and drowned don't rhyme. :::

AssClown's first one won it.

wtf? It's no worse than "love" and "shoved"- at least be consistent in your criticisms.
Mr. Miyagi
02-24-2005, 09:25 AM
wtf? It's no worse than "love" and "shoved"- at least be consistent in your criticisms.
FYI - arguing isn't going to get you any votes. :snicker:
OpIv37
02-24-2005, 09:33 AM
FYI - arguing isn't going to get you any votes. :snicker:
he can vote for whoever he wants- I just don't think it's fair for everyone to read a criticism of me that fails to mention that my opponent did the exact same thing. If I lose points for it, he should too.
OpIv37
02-24-2005, 02:13 PM
when do the polls close?
lordofgun
02-24-2005, 02:29 PM
OpIv gets my vote. S11 has no flow.
lordofgun
02-24-2005, 02:30 PM
Polls close friday at 2:30PM

Final round starts Monday.
SabreEleven
02-24-2005, 02:47 PM
OpIv gets my vote. S11 has no flow.

Your wife probably won't let you vote for me :(
lordofgun
02-24-2005, 02:47 PM
Your wife probably won't let you vote for me :(
Yeah, she holds grudges. :(
Mr. Miyagi
02-24-2005, 03:13 PM
OpIv gets my vote. S11 has no flow.
Wow just one statement from LOG and 4 votes just swung. You sure got pull. :eek:
Novacane
02-24-2005, 05:00 PM
OpIv gets my vote. S11 has no flow.


You're just bitter from last round
SabreEleven
02-24-2005, 05:20 PM
Yeah, she holds grudges. :(

Stand up for yourself and tell her no. Vote for me.
Mr. Miyagi
02-24-2005, 09:08 PM
Stand up for yourself and tell her no.
Who else is going to do the dishes? :idunno:
mybills
02-25-2005, 06:18 AM
You're just bitter from last round
:evil:
chernobylwraiths
02-25-2005, 11:19 AM
OpIv gets my vote. S11 has no flow.

I agree. Flow is very important in a limerick. Do they ALL have to be about incest or homosexuality?
SabreEleven
02-25-2005, 12:21 PM
I agree. Flow is very important in a limerick. Do they ALL have to be about incest or homosexuality?

ummmm. yes. I love dick and fart jokes, too
Mr. Miyagi
02-25-2005, 01:40 PM
Poll closed. AssClown won 18-15.
OpIv37
02-25-2005, 01:49 PM
congrats Sabre11- nicely done. The double limerick thing was a little shady, but I have to admit the bf1 stuff was funny as hell.
Mr. Miyagi
02-25-2005, 01:57 PM
I wonder if bf1 thought it was funny. :snicker:
LtBillsFan66
02-28-2005, 01:42 PM
"But I'll tell you where to find
a stud with a firm behind
Try billsfanone
He's tons of fun
I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

So next day you dropped by
To see if mom's satisfy
She said "Thanks to that midget
I'm now all frigid!"
And that's how you got that black eye.
WTF! :mad:
OpIv37
02-28-2005, 01:45 PM
WTF! :mad:

took you long enough to notice- he beat me by making fun of you!
Michael82
03-03-2005, 10:43 PM
took you long enough to notice- he beat me by making fun of you!
EXACTLY. :snicker:
SabreEleven
03-03-2005, 10:58 PM
took you long enough to notice- he beat me by making fun of you!

Had to go into overtime to do it :phew:
OpIv37
03-04-2005, 07:15 AM
Had to go into overtime to do it :phew:
yeah, definitely a good matchup.

So far, I voted for you in one of the final rounds and Mr. R in the other, and right now I think you're winning the one that's still open.