View Full Version : (!ongoing!) CHAMPIONSHIP: Mr. Reality vs. SabreEleven

02-28-2005, 08:23 AM
4 turns each with Mr. Reality starting us off. Refer to previous freestyle rules.

02-28-2005, 01:36 PM

Hi butt clown. Fancy meeting you here. I thought you’d have been bounced long ago, because quite frankly, you’re not very funny. But so what? Goody-goody for me. It’s not often I get a chance to re-invent the rubber chicken like you try to re-invent the dick joke. Ever consider a career as a classical music shock jock?

I was thinking that with a name like Ass, you’d gotta be funny, right? Or not, because you changed it at least once. You don’t even know, do you? There is a little gap in credibility there. I‘m sorry. Do you scare you? OK, that wasn’t funny, and I don’t even know where I’m going with this, which isn’t funny either. But that’s OK, because I’m still funnier than you. Because really, I don’t wanna win by accident by being the funnier of two un-funnies.

I did a Google cross-reference on your two screen names, Assclown and SabreEleven, and was able to obtain a map as to your whereabouts. I was a little surprised by how detailed it was.


No wonder you try to talk tough. You traded in your ***** name when you got paroled from Lompoc and tried to go straight with SabreEleven, but you just couldn‘t help coming home to roost on the dreaded Dork branch. I take it you couldn’t afford the rent on Dip**** Street? Nobody ever said pawning used rubbers was a gold mine.

Your parole party was a smashing success.


Your friends were happy for you, happy that you no longer felt “trapped”. Happy that you were comfortable with yourself. Happy that the days of you leading the infamous Titty Twister gang through local boys' tennis locker room were long gone. And so were the days of ripping off door to door Mormons.

Everybody agreed. Bubba had served you well. There was much rejoicing.

Butt Clown was all growed up now.

02-28-2005, 11:25 PM
Who is going to read this dick dribble,
War and Peace is shorter than this.

I did a search on BikerBabe and was I surprised when this came up :whatthe:

Yo, dude, the Seventies is over and it sucked so let's start living in the new century. Sell your Scooby Doo van, put away the flowers and stop trying to make gay marriages legal.

03-01-2005, 02:48 AM

STFU, stain-brain. Your word is about as good as a 9th circuit court decision on public pimple-popping.

Considering your legendary I.Q.--and where you come from--I’m guessing job placement tests have you pegged somewhere between mule-milking and the YMCA cake pop-up birthday boy. Guess that somewhat explains your renegade career smuggling :mex: jizz across the border for cut-rate sperm bank profits.

Get off your roller bladin’ ass and get a job, homo.


03-02-2005, 11:51 AM
Who wrote this crap for you, myballs?

I bet you are one of these 65 year-old men who ride around with their old lady on their Gold Wing, stopping at ever Denny’s and Sizzler to take advantage of their senior discount, except your pleather jacket reads “Richard Simmons Angels”

I can picture you with an old gray bread, pleather jacket and orange running shorts while heading to Boca Raton for the annual Richard Simmon’s Sexually Confused, Obese Senior Convention.

Your first day starts with Richard Simmons getting mad at you when all you are wearing is your pleather jacket (and I mean only your jacket) while you Sweat to the Oldies. Richard says that you need to trim up your ‘70’s porno bush down south. Richard winds up punishing you by whipping you fifty times with his Meal-A-Deal licorice dessert.

Your first days ends with BikerBabe hooking up with Rosie O’Donnell and Sandra Bernhard(she trims, I hear) and You and Richards going backstage to the Elkland/Erasure concert to get your matching his and his fishnet thongs signed by the Pierce brothers.

(To Be Con't)

03-05-2005, 01:40 AM
Richard & Real (The Sexscaped’s Cont’d)

So after Real and Richard spend the night together (I’m not going to say that you guys had sex, cause the homosexual thing has been played out, but I will add that Elton John was seen arriving at your room at 2am with a video camera and grape jelly). The next morning you guys enjoy a wonderful breakfast of quiche and whatever Honey cooked the nigh before that TopDog didn’t eat. Sounds of Michael Bolton were heard coming through your door as you and Richard celebrated the man’s whole collection.

After breakfast, you lovebirds take a stroll along the beach stopping at Carson Kressley’s Thong-O-Rama. You guys pick out matching red & white banana hammock’s with Canadian flags in the front (where the banana could be found)

After a day fun and frolic, Richard whispers in your ear that he wants you to get a shave and haircut. You argue that your beard is your “flavor saver” and that way you can “enjoy” Richard all day. You reluctantly comply. Richard is aghast. He screams at you “You are Yanni? what the ****(first time ever that Richard said the F word), I love your music. No wonder you play the skin flute so well.”

So the weekend ends in saddness as you ride back home on your GoldWing as Richard goes back to pretending to be a chubby chaser. You see BikerBabe hitching along the side of the road. Apparently Rosie and Sandra decide to go “straight” after spending a night with her.

Side Note: They were last scene hooking up with Phil and Thurm. Phil was trying to get them to tryout for the 2005 Buffalo Jills. I personally think that they have a good shot.

BikerBabe hops on the back. You, her and the VD that Richards gave you live happily ever after