the official Dolphins Joke Thread

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  • venis2k1
    Youboty can hope
    • Jul 2002
    • 4621

    the official Dolphins Joke Thread

    feel free to add you own:

    There was a little boy whose parents were getting a divorce. He had to testify in court and while he was on the stand, the judge asked him who he wanted to live with.
    The little boy answered, "I don't know." The judge was confused and asked, "Well, what about your dad?" The little boy said, "No, he beats me."
    The judge then said, "Well how about your mother?" "No, she beats me too," replies the little boy.
    The judge is confused and looks at the boy and again he asks, "So, who do you want to live with?"
    The little boy looks the judge in the eye and says, "I want to live with the Dolphins because they don't beat anyone."


    A guy from Nebraska, a guy from Miami, and a guy from Buffalo are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
    "I will give you each one wish. That's three wishes total," says the Genie.
    The guy from Nebraska says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Nebraska." With a blink of the Genie's eye - 'POOF' - the land in Nebraska was forever made fertile for farming.
    The guy from Miami was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall built around Miami, so that no Bills fans can come into our precious city." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye - 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around Miami.
    The Bills fan says, "I'm curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out."
    The Bills fan says, "Fill it up with water."


    A Jets fan walks into a sports bar with his dog. The bartender says, "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!" The Jets fan says "Please, he's a real avid Jets fan and our TV just broke. He's never missed a game."
    The bartender relents and the guy and his dog find a place right in front of the big screen. Halfway through the third quarter, the Jets score a field goal. The dog goes crazy! He's chasing his tail, rolling over, doing flips and generally going wild. The bartender says, "Wow, what's he do if they score a touchdown?"
    The Jets fan replies, "How should I know? I've only had the dog for four years."


    Dan Marino died and went to heaven. God said, "Dan, I am a great football fan so I am giving you a great honor. You will have your own house here in heaven." God showed him a modest house with a small Dolphins flag in the window. Dan was pleased until he looked up the hill and saw a massive Red and Blue mansion, with a huge Bills flag outside.
    Dan said, "God, I don't like to complain, but how come I have such a small house and Jim Kelly has such a big mansion?" God replied, "That is not Kelly's house! That's where I live."
  • northernbillfan
    Hello, I'm Mike and I'm a Bills fan.

    Administrator Emeritus
    • Jul 2002
    • 27551

    #2
    A Doll-Fan driving to last sundays game has to take a pit stop at the rest stop.

    While sitting in the stall he hears a voice from the next asking "How's it going?"

    Not being one to talk to people, it was long a drive, and felt like chatting. So he replies.."Not too bad"

    The other person says "Where are you going?"

    The Doll-phan replies..."To the Ralph and watch my Fins destroy Buffalo"

    The person in the other stall says.."I'm going to have to let you go, some idiot in the next stall keeps talking to me..."
    When I die, please don't let my wife sell my camera equipment for what I told her I paid for it.


    Comment

    • WCoastFin
      I have the arms of a new born baby!
      • Jul 2002
      • 1701

      #3
      Did you hear about the Bills new Chinese coach who will replace GW next season?....his name is Winwan Soon.
      We wanna see you spit now!!!lets face it we suck.

      Comment

      • SABURZFAN
        short bus extraordinaire
        • Jul 2002
        • 50747

        #4
        Originally posted by WCoastFin
        Did you hear about the Bills new Chinese coach who will replace GW next season?....his name is Winwan Soon.

        WCF SABURZFAN


        that's not funny.
        Originally posted by yordad
        Christ, you are the queerest person in the history of Bills fanhood. I swear to god I would stomp you.

        Comment

        • venis2k1
          Youboty can hope
          • Jul 2002
          • 4621

          #5
          Originally posted by WCoastFin
          Did you hear about the Bills new Chinese coach who will replace GW next season?....his name is Winwan Soon.
          booooooooooo

          Comment

          • fabolouspaul
            Registered User
            • Oct 2002
            • 699

            #6
            Originally posted by WCoastFin
            Did you hear about the Bills new Chinese coach who will replace GW next season?....his name is Winwan Soon.
            LA needs a football team so that I can watch a Bills game live.

            Comment

            • Dozerdog
              In a jar, on a shelf, next to the unopened Miracle Whip.

              Administrator Emeritus
              • Jul 2002
              • 42586

              #7
              Dolphin fan at a bar........

              "How do you know WCF is ***?"

              "His **** tastes like ****"

              Comment

              • BillsFanStuckInWisc
                Lecter's Little Bitch

                • Sep 2002
                • 53616

                #8

                Comment

                • BillC
                  The man in charge - Don't U forget it!
                  • Jul 2002
                  • 1737

                  #9
                  Dave Waanstadt and Dan Marino are playing a round of golf.

                  They play 5 quick holes and get slowed down on the 6th with 2 very slow playing women up ahead.

                  "Man, those two girls are taking FOREVER!" Dave said. " I'm gonna go up there and ask them if we can play through"

                  "You do that" Dan replies.

                  So the fin's Head Coach jogs ahead. A few moments later, Marino sees Waanstadt slinking back to the golf bags, trying to hide within the bushes.

                  "You are not going to frekkin' beleive this!" Dave said. " Those two women? One is my wife, the other is my girlfreind! And they don't know about each other!"

                  "WOW!" Marino replied. "You wait here. I'll go ahead and ask!" Dan saunters ahead.........only to sneak back 1 minute later ....

                  Dave " Well????"

                  Dan *cough* *Cough* "Small World" "Same here"

                  Comment

                  • SABURZFAN
                    short bus extraordinaire
                    • Jul 2002
                    • 50747

                    #10
                    coach wannstedt,clearly upset over the DOLPHINS play in their 24-10 loss to the PACKERS,decides to find out from Coach Sherman what his secret is.wannstedt travels over to the PACKERS locker room and ask Sherman,"coach,how is it that your team is so good?what's your secret?
                    sherman responds by calling over brett favre."brett,who's your father's brother's nephew?"
                    favre answers,"coach,that's easy.it's me."
                    sherman turns to wannstedt and says,"that's the secret dave.a smart QB.you've got to have a smart QB."
                    thinking he has all of the tools that he needs,wannstedt returns to the DOLPHINS locker room.he promptly calls over ray lucas.
                    "lucas!!!who's your father's brother's nephew?"lucas looks perplexed,thinks a minute and says,"coach,can i get back to you on that after i get out of the shower?"
                    wannstadt(disgusted) says,"ok!"
                    in the shower,lucas approaches ricky williams."ricky,coach just asked me the weirdest question.who's your father's brother's nephew?"
                    williams:"DUH!!!that's easy.it's me."
                    after his shower,lucas catches up with wannstedt."coach,i think i got it.my father's brother's nephew is ricky williams."
                    wannstedt(angry):NO,NO,NO!!!YOU IDIOT!!!!IT'S BRETT FAVRE!!!!!
                    Originally posted by yordad
                    Christ, you are the queerest person in the history of Bills fanhood. I swear to god I would stomp you.

                    Comment

                    • BillsMan80
                      Tapit: All the Way to the Derby
                      • Jul 2002
                      • 2605

                      #11
                      What do you get when you take the Bills and Dolphins in a September game in Miami and the Bills win?

                      Fried Fish.
                      The NTRA...GO BABY GO!!!!!!!
                      THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT WILLIS!!!!!!!!!!! Touchdown Wills McGahee!!!!!

                      Comment

                      • venis2k1
                        Youboty can hope
                        • Jul 2002
                        • 4621

                        #12
                        Originally posted by SABURZFAN
                        coach wannstedt,clearly upset over the DOLPHINS play in their 24-10 loss to the PACKERS,decides to find out from Coach Sherman what his secret is.wannstedt travels over to the PACKERS locker room and ask Sherman,"coach,how is it that your team is so good?what's your secret?
                        sherman responds by calling over brett favre."brett,who's your father's brother's nephew?"
                        favre answers,"coach,that's easy.it's me."
                        sherman turns to wannstedt and says,"that's the secret dave.a smart QB.you've got to have a smart QB."
                        thinking he has all of the tools that he needs,wannstedt returns to the DOLPHINS locker room.he promptly calls over ray lucas.
                        "lucas!!!who's your father's brother's nephew?"lucas looks perplexed,thinks a minute and says,"coach,can i get back to you on that after i get out of the shower?"
                        wannstadt(disgusted) says,"ok!"
                        in the shower,lucas approaches ricky williams."ricky,coach just asked me the weirdest question.who's your father's brother's nephew?"
                        williams:"DUH!!!that's easy.it's me."
                        after his shower,lucas catches up with wannstedt."coach,i think i got it.my father's brother's nephew is ricky williams."
                        wannstedt(angry):NO,NO,NO!!!YOU IDIOT!!!!IT'S BRETT FAVRE!!!!!
                        Pretty good Joke, but i dont think Ricky would have the correct answer to that question.

                        Comment

                        • wharfrat
                          Is it February yet?
                          • Nov 2002
                          • 310

                          #13
                          Originally posted by venis2k1


                          Pretty good Joke, but i dont think Ricky would have the correct answer to that question.
                          Seeing as how it was originally a joke about G W Bush... it's pretty unoriginal...

                          Comment

                          • LtBillsFan66
                            Registered User
                            • Jul 2002
                            • 35553

                            #14
                            Q) What do you call 3 Dolphin fans watching the game?




                            A) Three Jerks

                            Comment

                            • venis2k1
                              Youboty can hope
                              • Jul 2002
                              • 4621

                              #15
                              :fabulous:

                              Comment

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