feel free to add you own:
There was a little boy whose parents were getting a divorce. He had to testify in court and while he was on the stand, the judge asked him who he wanted to live with.
The little boy answered, "I don't know." The judge was confused and asked, "Well, what about your dad?" The little boy said, "No, he beats me."
The judge then said, "Well how about your mother?" "No, she beats me too," replies the little boy.
The judge is confused and looks at the boy and again he asks, "So, who do you want to live with?"
The little boy looks the judge in the eye and says, "I want to live with the Dolphins because they don't beat anyone."
A guy from Nebraska, a guy from Miami, and a guy from Buffalo are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
"I will give you each one wish. That's three wishes total," says the Genie.
The guy from Nebraska says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Nebraska." With a blink of the Genie's eye - 'POOF' - the land in Nebraska was forever made fertile for farming.
The guy from Miami was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall built around Miami, so that no Bills fans can come into our precious city." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye - 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around Miami.
The Bills fan says, "I'm curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out."
The Bills fan says, "Fill it up with water."
A Jets fan walks into a sports bar with his dog. The bartender says, "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!" The Jets fan says "Please, he's a real avid Jets fan and our TV just broke. He's never missed a game."
The bartender relents and the guy and his dog find a place right in front of the big screen. Halfway through the third quarter, the Jets score a field goal. The dog goes crazy! He's chasing his tail, rolling over, doing flips and generally going wild. The bartender says, "Wow, what's he do if they score a touchdown?"
The Jets fan replies, "How should I know? I've only had the dog for four years."
Dan Marino died and went to heaven. God said, "Dan, I am a great football fan so I am giving you a great honor. You will have your own house here in heaven." God showed him a modest house with a small Dolphins flag in the window. Dan was pleased until he looked up the hill and saw a massive Red and Blue mansion, with a huge Bills flag outside.
Dan said, "God, I don't like to complain, but how come I have such a small house and Jim Kelly has such a big mansion?" God replied, "That is not Kelly's house! That's where I live."
There was a little boy whose parents were getting a divorce. He had to testify in court and while he was on the stand, the judge asked him who he wanted to live with.
The little boy answered, "I don't know." The judge was confused and asked, "Well, what about your dad?" The little boy said, "No, he beats me."
The judge then said, "Well how about your mother?" "No, she beats me too," replies the little boy.
The judge is confused and looks at the boy and again he asks, "So, who do you want to live with?"
The little boy looks the judge in the eye and says, "I want to live with the Dolphins because they don't beat anyone."
A guy from Nebraska, a guy from Miami, and a guy from Buffalo are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
"I will give you each one wish. That's three wishes total," says the Genie.
The guy from Nebraska says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Nebraska." With a blink of the Genie's eye - 'POOF' - the land in Nebraska was forever made fertile for farming.
The guy from Miami was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall built around Miami, so that no Bills fans can come into our precious city." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye - 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around Miami.
The Bills fan says, "I'm curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out."
The Bills fan says, "Fill it up with water."
A Jets fan walks into a sports bar with his dog. The bartender says, "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!" The Jets fan says "Please, he's a real avid Jets fan and our TV just broke. He's never missed a game."
The bartender relents and the guy and his dog find a place right in front of the big screen. Halfway through the third quarter, the Jets score a field goal. The dog goes crazy! He's chasing his tail, rolling over, doing flips and generally going wild. The bartender says, "Wow, what's he do if they score a touchdown?"
The Jets fan replies, "How should I know? I've only had the dog for four years."
Dan Marino died and went to heaven. God said, "Dan, I am a great football fan so I am giving you a great honor. You will have your own house here in heaven." God showed him a modest house with a small Dolphins flag in the window. Dan was pleased until he looked up the hill and saw a massive Red and Blue mansion, with a huge Bills flag outside.
Dan said, "God, I don't like to complain, but how come I have such a small house and Jim Kelly has such a big mansion?" God replied, "That is not Kelly's house! That's where I live."
Comment