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I started and completed this poem after receiving the idea from a thread started by a member in the Twilight Zone. Enjoy. It's verse has been devised to follow the rhyming patterns of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas.
'Twas 10 minutes before game time, when all through the house
Not a Bills fan was lurking, to spend quality time with the spouse;
The beer was plentifully stocked, in the fridge with care,
In hopes that the amount would serve an overtime affair;
The children were politely asked, to flee in their Keds,
Before sounds of ornate profanity littered their heads;
And my brother-in-law in his 'jersey, and I in my cap,
Were just settling down for the game starting snap,
When out in the kitchen there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the couch, fore I’d forgotten the wings (deep-fried batter).
Then back to the TV, I flew like a flash,
Tore open the chips and pulled the cap off a Labatts.
A final screen cleaning, to the 51” prior to the show
Gave a lustrous shine to the formidable Gillette Stadium foe,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But the #11 quarterback readily prepared to exhibit his revived career,
With an arm so invasive and elusively quick,
I knew in a moment that it wasn’t that sack-a-second pric k.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Eric! now, Peerless! now, Travis, Larry and Jay!
On, Ruben! on Jonas! on, Marques, Mike and Trey!
To the back of the end zone, mounting points to the score wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
Forward to the end zone the coursers they flew,
Again, again and again the pigskin spiraled from Drew.
And then, in a twinkling, Henry caught a 15 yard button-hook pass,
That opened the scoring in just 3 minutes fast.
As I slapped my hands together, while jumping up and down,
Hollis booted the extra point and gave high fives all around.
This continued through quarters, two, three and four,
And the Patriots fans gasped after seeing the score;
The Bills D surprised all, with a well planned attack,
And Brady found his best plays were not from his back.
Greg Williams eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the hair on his head was whiter then snow;
The stump of a swizel stick he did lack in his teeth,
But at least the headphones gripped his head like a wreath;
He had two large man-boobs, perched precariously above his belly,
That shook, as he screamed like a bowlful of jelly.
Ralph Wilson was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a pat on Drew’s head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
Tom Donahoe spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Continued filling out checks; sifting out talentless jerks,
And while Fiedler retained his finger, deep inside of his nose,
The Bills got the nod, to the playoffs they rose;
They sprang past Cincy, the Chargers and Green Bay,
They won the division and earned themselves a rematch at 7000 Coliseum Way.
But I heard Bledsoe exclaim, ere he caught his flight,
"This one is for the fans; I’ll make everything right!"
'Twas 10 minutes before game time, when all through the house
Not a Bills fan was lurking, to spend quality time with the spouse;
The beer was plentifully stocked, in the fridge with care,
In hopes that the amount would serve an overtime affair;
The children were politely asked, to flee in their Keds,
Before sounds of ornate profanity littered their heads;
And my brother-in-law in his 'jersey, and I in my cap,
Were just settling down for the game starting snap,
When out in the kitchen there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the couch, fore I’d forgotten the wings (deep-fried batter).
Then back to the TV, I flew like a flash,
Tore open the chips and pulled the cap off a Labatts.
A final screen cleaning, to the 51” prior to the show
Gave a lustrous shine to the formidable Gillette Stadium foe,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But the #11 quarterback readily prepared to exhibit his revived career,
With an arm so invasive and elusively quick,
I knew in a moment that it wasn’t that sack-a-second pric k.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Eric! now, Peerless! now, Travis, Larry and Jay!
On, Ruben! on Jonas! on, Marques, Mike and Trey!
To the back of the end zone, mounting points to the score wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
Forward to the end zone the coursers they flew,
Again, again and again the pigskin spiraled from Drew.
And then, in a twinkling, Henry caught a 15 yard button-hook pass,
That opened the scoring in just 3 minutes fast.
As I slapped my hands together, while jumping up and down,
Hollis booted the extra point and gave high fives all around.
This continued through quarters, two, three and four,
And the Patriots fans gasped after seeing the score;
The Bills D surprised all, with a well planned attack,
And Brady found his best plays were not from his back.
Greg Williams eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the hair on his head was whiter then snow;
The stump of a swizel stick he did lack in his teeth,
But at least the headphones gripped his head like a wreath;
He had two large man-boobs, perched precariously above his belly,
That shook, as he screamed like a bowlful of jelly.
Ralph Wilson was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a pat on Drew’s head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
Tom Donahoe spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Continued filling out checks; sifting out talentless jerks,
And while Fiedler retained his finger, deep inside of his nose,
The Bills got the nod, to the playoffs they rose;
They sprang past Cincy, the Chargers and Green Bay,
They won the division and earned themselves a rematch at 7000 Coliseum Way.
But I heard Bledsoe exclaim, ere he caught his flight,
"This one is for the fans; I’ll make everything right!"
i love the verse about GW's man boobs.
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