BironsGirl43
01-24-2003, 01:22 AM
The Top Ten HSBC Arena Renovations Mark Hamister Hasn't Told Us About Yet
Number 10…
Convert Harbour Club into “sex crib” for SabreTooth and kinky mascot friends to prevent team's most marketable commodity from making good on threat to bolt to Detroit Tigers. $11,000,000
Number 9…
Reconfigure lower bowl to rotate 360 degrees in approximately two and a half hours, giving fans truly unique view of game, at $300 a pop. $89,000,000
Number 8…
Reroute Skyway directly through arena, allowing Hamister right to charge “hockey-viewing privilege toll” of $44.95 per vehicle. $550,000,000
Number 7…
Construct torture chamber to permanently house former owner John Rigas — fans would pay $20 per minute to use electric cattle prods or device of their choice. $8,500,000
Number 6…
Place “retractable private curtain” in front of each seat so fans could obscure view of Sabres' power play on particularly bad nights. $9,250,000
Number 5...
Convert Headlines sports bar into a “Hooters.” $4,000,000
Number 4...
Relocate pricey “rinkside” seats over glass and onto ice so fans can really get “more bang for their buck.” $17,500,000
Number 3...
Install vibrating seats in Section 215, desperately needed, Hamister claims, to attract more “lonely chicks” to Sabres games. $4,500,000
Number 2...
Hire Pentagon and CIA to build foolproof “Star Wars” system that would utilize lasers (or something) to automatically vaporize all opponent's shots on goal. $11,545,000,000,000
And The Number 1 HSBC Arena Renovation Mark Hamister Hasn't Told Us About Yet…
Make one up.. lol.. it ends here.. I thought they were pretty funny and creative.. I saw this on a Sabre site..
http://www.thesabresedge.com/topten.htm
Number 10…
Convert Harbour Club into “sex crib” for SabreTooth and kinky mascot friends to prevent team's most marketable commodity from making good on threat to bolt to Detroit Tigers. $11,000,000
Number 9…
Reconfigure lower bowl to rotate 360 degrees in approximately two and a half hours, giving fans truly unique view of game, at $300 a pop. $89,000,000
Number 8…
Reroute Skyway directly through arena, allowing Hamister right to charge “hockey-viewing privilege toll” of $44.95 per vehicle. $550,000,000
Number 7…
Construct torture chamber to permanently house former owner John Rigas — fans would pay $20 per minute to use electric cattle prods or device of their choice. $8,500,000
Number 6…
Place “retractable private curtain” in front of each seat so fans could obscure view of Sabres' power play on particularly bad nights. $9,250,000
Number 5...
Convert Headlines sports bar into a “Hooters.” $4,000,000
Number 4...
Relocate pricey “rinkside” seats over glass and onto ice so fans can really get “more bang for their buck.” $17,500,000
Number 3...
Install vibrating seats in Section 215, desperately needed, Hamister claims, to attract more “lonely chicks” to Sabres games. $4,500,000
Number 2...
Hire Pentagon and CIA to build foolproof “Star Wars” system that would utilize lasers (or something) to automatically vaporize all opponent's shots on goal. $11,545,000,000,000
And The Number 1 HSBC Arena Renovation Mark Hamister Hasn't Told Us About Yet…
Make one up.. lol.. it ends here.. I thought they were pretty funny and creative.. I saw this on a Sabre site..
http://www.thesabresedge.com/topten.htm