WCoastFin
01-29-2003, 01:33 PM
Leno Bashes Raiders
Check out Leno's Monday night monologue:
quote:
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Congratulations to Tampa Bay! What a game! 48-21. Or as they call that in Hollywood, the second marriage.
Did you know on Super Bowl Sunday, Americans eat more food than any other day of the year, except for Thanksgiving. Of course, the only difference is on Thanksgiving, there’s usually a better game on.
Before we talk about that game, if you saw the news from San Diego yesterday you know the whole city was like a giant party. Everywhere you went in San Diego. It was so big, people sneaking over the border from Mexico that day are being asked to bring chips and salsa with them.
I actually watched the Super Bowl in Tijuana with Raiders Center Barret Robbins.
Do you know this story? Robbins went awol on Friday two days before the game. He went to Tijuana on a drinking binge, had his stomach pumped, missed the Super Bowl. Even worse, after that he even missed the toilet bowl.
Not a good day for the Raiders. During the game Oakland used the "no huddle offense”. They did that, then they also used the "no rushing offense” the "no passing offense” and of course the famous "no scoring offense.”
You know what was really pathetic? I saw a lot of Raider fans, they could be seen crying after the game. Well, that was mostly from police teargas. Nothing to do with the game.
You think the Raiders players are too old? Jerry Rice is like 64 now? Gannon is like 51, 52? You know the pirate logo on their helmet? You know why the pirate wears a patch? Glaucoma.
I don’t know if anyone else noticed, but on the back of Rich Gannon’s helmet, did you see that sticker? "Ask me about my grandchildren.”
How ‘bout the commercials? Like six out of the top ten ads during the Super Bowl were beer commercials. Why? Do you really need to advertise for beer during the Super Bowl? Are there guys sitting around going, "What do you want, Fresca, Tab, what’s that alcohol thing, beer? Yeah I saw an ad for that on the T.V. Let’s get six of those.”
Then there was an ad for that drink, "Sierra Mist”, where, to cool off, a baboon launches himself from his zoo enclosure into the polar-bear enclosure. So he can swim. What they didn’t show you was two minutes later the polar bear eating the baboon. You missed that part.
As nice as it was here in L.A. and in San Diego back east it is still freezing. It was so cold in New York today, Matt Lauer put on a toupee.
Can you believe the freezing cold? The temperatures been dipping into the teens more than R. Kelly.
Check out Leno's Monday night monologue:
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Congratulations to Tampa Bay! What a game! 48-21. Or as they call that in Hollywood, the second marriage.
Did you know on Super Bowl Sunday, Americans eat more food than any other day of the year, except for Thanksgiving. Of course, the only difference is on Thanksgiving, there’s usually a better game on.
Before we talk about that game, if you saw the news from San Diego yesterday you know the whole city was like a giant party. Everywhere you went in San Diego. It was so big, people sneaking over the border from Mexico that day are being asked to bring chips and salsa with them.
I actually watched the Super Bowl in Tijuana with Raiders Center Barret Robbins.
Do you know this story? Robbins went awol on Friday two days before the game. He went to Tijuana on a drinking binge, had his stomach pumped, missed the Super Bowl. Even worse, after that he even missed the toilet bowl.
Not a good day for the Raiders. During the game Oakland used the "no huddle offense”. They did that, then they also used the "no rushing offense” the "no passing offense” and of course the famous "no scoring offense.”
You know what was really pathetic? I saw a lot of Raider fans, they could be seen crying after the game. Well, that was mostly from police teargas. Nothing to do with the game.
You think the Raiders players are too old? Jerry Rice is like 64 now? Gannon is like 51, 52? You know the pirate logo on their helmet? You know why the pirate wears a patch? Glaucoma.
I don’t know if anyone else noticed, but on the back of Rich Gannon’s helmet, did you see that sticker? "Ask me about my grandchildren.”
How ‘bout the commercials? Like six out of the top ten ads during the Super Bowl were beer commercials. Why? Do you really need to advertise for beer during the Super Bowl? Are there guys sitting around going, "What do you want, Fresca, Tab, what’s that alcohol thing, beer? Yeah I saw an ad for that on the T.V. Let’s get six of those.”
Then there was an ad for that drink, "Sierra Mist”, where, to cool off, a baboon launches himself from his zoo enclosure into the polar-bear enclosure. So he can swim. What they didn’t show you was two minutes later the polar bear eating the baboon. You missed that part.
As nice as it was here in L.A. and in San Diego back east it is still freezing. It was so cold in New York today, Matt Lauer put on a toupee.
Can you believe the freezing cold? The temperatures been dipping into the teens more than R. Kelly.