Mr.Reality
04-07-2006, 07:41 PM
This is my conspiracy theory:
Millen--for the fourth time now?--has completely sold his soul to the devil for, well. . . his reputation. This is his double last chance. Do something, or else.
Imagine the four way conference.
Matt: Yeah, uh, Donnie?
DH: If this is the Jets, I'm not interested. . .
Matt: Donnie. . . Matt Millen here. Linebacker, 49ers. Maybe you've heard me on FOX. . .
DH: Not interested. . .
Matt: Just a second, I have an incoming call from Mike Martz. . .
DH: Martz?. . .
Matt: Yeah, he's a big fan of yours. . .
DH: Hi, Mike!
Matt: Mike says "Hi".
DH: Tell him I love what he did with Lovie Smith.
Matt: No. You tell him.
Martz: Hey Donnie!
DH: Mike! Is it really you? What brings you?. . .
Martz: Matt. Hey!
DH: Matt?
Matt: Hey, look, this is the deal. I was going to suprise you, but since you already know. . .
DH: I do?
Matt. . .I'm going to form the greatest coaching staff ever assembled on one team. You, Mike Martz, and . . . Bill Walsh.
DH: Bill Walsh?
Martz: Yeah, Donnie, it's true.
DH: Bill Walsh?
Matt: If you don't mind, you know. . . having Mike as your defensive coordinator. Only thing is, though, that Bill said he'd only do it for one year. One year. Think about it. One year, balls to the walls, and I will turn over all the decisions to you.
DH: That's almost crazy enough to think about.
Martz: That's what I said.
DH: Bill Walsh?
Matt: And a year.
Martz: Hell, Donnie, I'm in.
DH: Bill Walsh?
Matt: You have my word.
DH: Yeah. OK. I can handle a Super Bowl in Detroit. . .
Later that night. . .
Matt: Is this, the. . . uh. . . Marinelli residence?
Rod: It is. . .
Matt: Put me on to Rod, Pronto. This is Matt Millen. I'm a busy man. . .
Rod: This is Rod.
Matt: Oh, sorry! Hey! Almost got back to my playin' days! Look, Rod, this is the deal. . .
Rod: It's 3:30 in the morning. . . .
Matt: Rod, you're not listening. . .
Rod: Look, Matt, I liked your FOX show. . .
Matt: Listen to me Rod. I can do this. . .
Rod: Mr. Millen, are you drunk?
Matt: Mike Martz and Donnie Henderson, Rod. Mike Martz and Donnie Henderson.
Rod: Fine coordinators. . .
Matt: Fine coordinators they are, Rod, but they said they wouldn't do it without you.
Rod: Comeback?
Matt: Oh yeah. They're aboard. They're counting on you. . .
Rod: They are?
Matt: Yeah. I said you were the best up and coming coach since Bill Belichick. And I believe that in my heart. And so do they. But they said five years. Five years minimum. But they wanted to see a commitment from you, so long as, you know, to know you were committed. That's the only way they'll do it. All decisions finalized by me. . .
Rod: Did they say that?
Matt: They did, Rod. I'm willing to go for it if you are. . .
Rod: If they feel that strongly about it, Matt, I'd be honored.
Millen--for the fourth time now?--has completely sold his soul to the devil for, well. . . his reputation. This is his double last chance. Do something, or else.
Imagine the four way conference.
Matt: Yeah, uh, Donnie?
DH: If this is the Jets, I'm not interested. . .
Matt: Donnie. . . Matt Millen here. Linebacker, 49ers. Maybe you've heard me on FOX. . .
DH: Not interested. . .
Matt: Just a second, I have an incoming call from Mike Martz. . .
DH: Martz?. . .
Matt: Yeah, he's a big fan of yours. . .
DH: Hi, Mike!
Matt: Mike says "Hi".
DH: Tell him I love what he did with Lovie Smith.
Matt: No. You tell him.
Martz: Hey Donnie!
DH: Mike! Is it really you? What brings you?. . .
Martz: Matt. Hey!
DH: Matt?
Matt: Hey, look, this is the deal. I was going to suprise you, but since you already know. . .
DH: I do?
Matt. . .I'm going to form the greatest coaching staff ever assembled on one team. You, Mike Martz, and . . . Bill Walsh.
DH: Bill Walsh?
Martz: Yeah, Donnie, it's true.
DH: Bill Walsh?
Matt: If you don't mind, you know. . . having Mike as your defensive coordinator. Only thing is, though, that Bill said he'd only do it for one year. One year. Think about it. One year, balls to the walls, and I will turn over all the decisions to you.
DH: That's almost crazy enough to think about.
Martz: That's what I said.
DH: Bill Walsh?
Matt: And a year.
Martz: Hell, Donnie, I'm in.
DH: Bill Walsh?
Matt: You have my word.
DH: Yeah. OK. I can handle a Super Bowl in Detroit. . .
Later that night. . .
Matt: Is this, the. . . uh. . . Marinelli residence?
Rod: It is. . .
Matt: Put me on to Rod, Pronto. This is Matt Millen. I'm a busy man. . .
Rod: This is Rod.
Matt: Oh, sorry! Hey! Almost got back to my playin' days! Look, Rod, this is the deal. . .
Rod: It's 3:30 in the morning. . . .
Matt: Rod, you're not listening. . .
Rod: Look, Matt, I liked your FOX show. . .
Matt: Listen to me Rod. I can do this. . .
Rod: Mr. Millen, are you drunk?
Matt: Mike Martz and Donnie Henderson, Rod. Mike Martz and Donnie Henderson.
Rod: Fine coordinators. . .
Matt: Fine coordinators they are, Rod, but they said they wouldn't do it without you.
Rod: Comeback?
Matt: Oh yeah. They're aboard. They're counting on you. . .
Rod: They are?
Matt: Yeah. I said you were the best up and coming coach since Bill Belichick. And I believe that in my heart. And so do they. But they said five years. Five years minimum. But they wanted to see a commitment from you, so long as, you know, to know you were committed. That's the only way they'll do it. All decisions finalized by me. . .
Rod: Did they say that?
Matt: They did, Rod. I'm willing to go for it if you are. . .
Rod: If they feel that strongly about it, Matt, I'd be honored.