Printable View
ROUND 1: Natrix vs. Devin
Round 1 will be freestyle. Do whatever the heck you want. Just make sure it's funny and insulting. And please refer to the rules in the sticky thread if you have any questions.
Each contestant will take turns insulting each other. This round will consist of 6 turns each.
Devin will go first.
Natrix, my favorite unplanned baby. To be honest if I looked like you id kick my own ass, you are the epitome of an abortion gone wrong.
I understand it doesnt help things that your parents are siblings, I would be a bit perturbed (see www.dictionary.com if you need some hand holding) as well if I were a border-line ****** whose extra-curricular activities include long walks on the beach and humping livestock. And before you reference livestock as a female (or in your case male) family member of mine, don't it's a lame comeback and no one will laugh.
Having that extra chromosome can't help, that sloping forehead and general lack of coordination has to suck while your sitting down to pee. Now go put your tampon in and fetch me a beer.
If I were you i'd concentrate on a viable solution to your life....like maybe suicide.
You have between now and go **** yourself to respond.
:skeptic:
Wow, such hostility from the great Devin. :( Lets's try to get along, k? :up: Soooo, how is your Valentines Day going, man? Are you going to get an ******* fingering and a ******* rub from you Aunt Milda,:ill: or did she stop doing that to you when you were six?
That it? thats your comeback, thats what your insulting me with?
It probably took you a good bit to work up that compound response. You must be a glutton for punishment. Why dont you go grab your crayolas and work up another brilliant comeback douchebag.
Ive pissed patterns in the snow more coherent then the uneducated rambling you present here. In this battle of wits you are outmatched, I am not entirley sure how it is you ever made it out the womb.
Aunt Milda and Devin's secret meeting place. :ill:Quote:
Originally Posted by Devin
Nice try mongo.
Watching you post insults is like watching a ****** hump a doorknob.....painful.
Is this even still an insult contest? Posting cute little pictures is hardly insulting.
By the way I dont have an Aunt Milda dip****.
Congrats you win the dumbass award................permanently.
O...Quote:
Originally Posted by Devin
I was just trying to find out about your title:
"Scuse me miss? Where do the teenage girls hang out"
I figured maybe an older family member touched you in an inapproprate, private spot, and now you are taking your frustrations out on little girls.
Anyway, Who the heck names their kid Devin? It's the most plain, lifeless, :limp: name ever and it goes great with your posts as they are not memorable or insightful to say the least. :z: When I think of the name "Devin," I think of a little panty waste that was forced to wear pull-ups until he was 12 because mommy was sick and tired of beating his sorry ass everytime he wet the bed. :ill:
The above isn't really that funny, it's quite sad actually. What IS funny though is your lame insults. They are generic. No originality what so ever. Would it kill you to use a smiley every once in a while? Here, I'll give you some examples of how you could use them:
Nate: What's up man? :D
Devin: Not much :idunno:
Nate: What are you up to tonight, dude!
Devin: Cards :up:
Nate: Sweet, I'm going to go play some Poker tonight. You should come!
Devin: I don't play Poker, I trade dungens and dragons cards online :up:
Nate: O, that's cool :rolleyes:
Devin: Yeah, I can't stay out to late anyway, I have to wake up early
Nate: For what?
Devin: Yoga :cloud9:
Nate: Have a good one man! :up: I'm going snowboarding in the morning :jam:
Devin: Bye
Nate: Peace
You probably won't take my advice though. I could even see you using a "hehe" instead of a :rofl:
Finally something to respond to, but then again I hear it always takes you three or four times to get it right. By the way how is your wife and my kid doing?
After my name now eh, well here is a little insight. The Gaytrix isn’t exactly a brilliant name either. It disturbs me that a Know-nothing-waste-of-space such as your self is consuming good air another human being could be using. Even though my lack of smilies maybe bad, reading your childish 3rd grade cut-downs is about as fun as aids.
With the IQ of a bag of hammers, and the appearance of a sea-donkey the coma-inducing nightmare you call your life makes the thought of "pull-ups" pale in comparison.
Use smilies :dance: ? Ok ill try it, I’ve never been a big fan of them :winkpunch but let me see if I can do it, just for you big Taint :monkey: I mean Nate:
Devin: Hey bud how are you getting to school today? :question:
Nate: :shortbus:
Devin: Ah man that sucks! :doh:
Nate: Yeah :star:
Devin: Hows class going for you? :clap:
Nate: Not bad I get to play with markers and eat glue most the day. :scared:
Devin: Just out of curiosity why are you wearing a helmet? :scratch:
Nate: Whats a window licker? :crazy:
Devin: You ummm dropped your crayon. :loser:
Oh your right, smilies are fun for everyone. By the way you misspelled “inappropriate” dumbass. :bikerbabe
Your turn helmet. :woot:
you're :(Quote:
Originally Posted by Devin
..And what's up with your avatar? :chuckle: I would think that after choosing a name that scores a two out of ten on the boring scale (god bless your soul if that is your real name), you would pick an avatar that shows fellow Bills Fans you have some sort of personality. Unfortunately, you failed. :ill: It's kind of like how you always fail. Devin.
It's not that you're a bad guy, it's just you are not a good one, either. Your're kind of just there, like a nonmalignant tumor. If you died today, no one would start a "Where's Devin" thread. Not even Dannyboy. You're family and imaginary friends would probably notice, but you would be easily replaceable. All they would have to do is get a pet rock and give him a similar name, such as Steve. :check:
I fail, says the guy insulting my avatar. Apart from repeating the same insults over and over. Soooooo let me get this straight, your insulting me by saying I fail a lot, and that no one would miss me? :nervous: Careful with those bombs your dropping there chief. :tip:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Natrix
This is getting harder and harder, I actually have to talk down to you because its like trading insults with a 2nd grader. I cant catch stupid from talking to you can I? :scared:
Well now that we have established my name is boring, The Gaytrix isn't a whole lot better, you tend to be attracted to men with long hair :snicker: , and that overall you view your pathetic existence in no way benefits anyone I will part with you in hopes you make these last two posts worth responding to.
Your turn dildo.
Ive had a more interesting conversation with a parrot. I think you need to take originality and imagination 101. Although, I did see in another thread that you've done insult contests before, so I'm not sure you are very good at learning. :idunno:
The first thing I though when I looked at my first round opponent was "who?" So I looked you up. I was amazed at your post count. "How could this Devin character (faceless robot may be a better discription) accumulate 1000+ posts and have no identity," I asked myself. The answer is quite clear actually:
You're one of those creatures that never experience the highs and lows that this world has to offer. You are satisfied by leaving your slime trail on the ground as you wonder the world taking no risk. You pathetic, middle feeding pawn. To scared to explore societies dark side and to ****ing stupid to mingle with luxury.
You probably don't clip your nails often enough, either. :ill:
Devin.
Crud muncher.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Natrix
Ouch. No Identity. Boring. Got it. :snooze: I’m not entirely sure how you make the whole 1000+ posts/no identity connection but hey, whatever blows your hair back. Your performance in this competition is somewhere between tying your shoe laces and not choking to death on your drool in the universal spectrum of skills, now crawl back to that shallow puddle you call your gene pool. :pray:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Natrix
What are you a guidance counselor all of a sudden? :shutit: I’m not actually sure this is even an insult, so I should get out more? :lolpoint: Tell ya what the day I take advice from a guy who had tinted windows on his incubator because no one could stand to look at him as a baby is the day I will consider “exploring societies dark side” whatever the hell that means. :question:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Natrix
uhhhh wtf? :loser: I suppose next ill be a doodie-head? :headscratQuote:
Originally Posted by The Natrix
Thanks for the insight. The previous ****** and dumbass statements still stand valid. :pest:
You are the weakest link. Goodbye! :bf1:
I hear that when you came out, your father accused your mother of cheating on him with an alien because you were so damn ugly. Instead of congratulation cards, your parents received mostly sympathy cards. :ill:
You are so damn ugly that when you tried out for that toddler commercial, the hiring crew though your mother was looking for the E.T. part II tryouts.
Your pre-teen years were a nightmare for your parents as you indulged in care bears and my little pony. Granted, you had some GI Joes, but you probably just liked them for their tight bods.
When 400 lb Cindy Weathers rejected you for that invitation to the semi-formal dance, you pretty much became a recluse, which in hindsight was a great move. No one should be subjected to specimens such as yourself.
Do us a favor and kill yourself, or better yet, become a Fin Fan. You'll fit right in. :up:
Good Game Nate that was a lot of fun bro. LOG Nate and I are finished, this one can go to the almighty vote.
:shakeno: read the rules. 6 times each.Quote:
Originally Posted by Devin
Mods, please delete this post. Thanks.
lol christ was just congratulating you it wasnt an insult. The match is over.
The rules say 6 turns each. The above post wasnt a turn All i did was say congrats and ask LOG to make the poll.
Voting is open until 8:30AM ET.
WTF is with the under-score? I don't want people to subliminally relate me to fill when casting the their vote. :ill:
:phew:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Natrix
Good battle guys.
Not really... Devin takes it easily.Quote:
Originally Posted by Forward_Lateral
Yeah...Natrix's heart didn't seem into this. I expected more from him :cynic:Quote:
Originally Posted by Shiny Chicken
:sadwalk: i agree... Natrix mailed this one in... the meeting place post was not even half hearted.
thanks i think.
All that matters to me is that at least one person likes me better. The other six are the sweet frosting. :cloud9:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Devin
not that you didn't do well... didnt' mean it like that. just that you got an easy round is all.
lol its cool. Thanks for the vote.
Including yourself?Quote:
Originally Posted by The Natrix
exactly. I love myself, and that's all that matters. :bigheart:Quote:
Originally Posted by Crisis
lol. Well he has a few fans, probably some of the old timers....as Mr. Myagi said just a popularity contest.
The Natrix was way better.Quote:
Originally Posted by Devin
lol see!