Q: Hello from England .... Obviously the freight costs across the Atlantic would be just too great to get your friend to the UK, so I won't be bidding I'm afraid. However I am concerned about his underperformance in the limerick department. I sympathise as I too was once a duffer in this art form. I would be prepared to offer a free correspondence course in limerick craft if you promise to keep him over there. We simply don't have enough calorific reserves on this side of the pond to keep him in the manner to which he has obviously become accustomed. In summarey then: He takes steroids, he's half-cast and fat And his friends, they all call him a prat. There's a chink in his armour, He's his own panorama And he'd probably eat a dead rat. Sounds like a man of character to me. Best wishes to you and to him .... and I hope he finds some nicer friends very soon. Doug.
A: Speak english, dude!