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Thread: Debate: Billszone.com President??

  1. #41
    Will not tolerate vandalism. Johnny Bugmenot's Avatar
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    Re: Debate: Billszone.com President??

    Serving as "President of Billszone" seems a little useless when we all know it's a dictatorship with lordofgun at the helm.

    But hey, he seems to be a pretty good dictator anyway.

  2. #42
    The Octagon Devin's Avatar
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    Re: Debate: Billszone.com President??

    As President of the zone I promise to use my wealth of rep and zonebucks to buy as many votes as possible.

    I furthur promise to hire fulltime someone to post a variety of pornographic links in the no-tos.

    On top of that I promise that I will use my office to furthur the cause of the little people of the zone. The people who matter significantly less, but are so very important to the everyday amusement of others.

    Lastly I will listen. You need someone negged into oblivion, I have people on it. You need more tater-tots at lunch, that sh** will be handled. Whats that you say? You need a new avatar? Guess who can sort that out for you? Thats right....this guy.

    Guess who cant? Thats right. The guy whose busy playing "swords" while you are awaiting your brand spanking new Kawika Mitchell avatar. Shameful.

    You wanna talk issues? Fine lets talk issues:

    FACT: Yes I lobbied for Kini to be given the "Vagina lifetime achievement award" I stand by my decision. I even made her a sweet shadowbox for the award.
    FACT: Judo chopped a wild grizzly bear to death.....twice. True story.
    FACT: Invented Nintendo and the Lesbian 3-way.
    FACT: Co-wrote "Airtighting for dummies" with Wilt Chamberlain. Best sellers list for 13 years straight.
    FALSE: Likes fat chicks. This was a rumor started by Bedard and has never been substantiated. There was one time in Vegas but it was late and I was drunk. Besides I excercised the one freebie all men are given at birth for this and it was expunged from my record.
    FACT: Is an expert in porn movie reviews, examples available in no-tos. A rare, but much needed niche.
    FACT: Has a thundercats tattoo. And yes it is Lion-O.
    FACT: Wrote the script to all 3 Godfather movies.
    FACT: Owns an iPhone
    FACT: Screams "Look, Gawdzira!" in asian restaraunts.
    FACT: Fought in 'Nam with Mad Bomber.

    My opponent:

    FACT: Was in the Taliban
    FACT: MBB once went trick-or-treating as Freddie Mercury.
    FACT: Once had a 3-some. And not the cool kind.
    FACT: Was in the band 25AFFAIR
    FACT: Invented gay sex and the band Bon Jovi. At the same time.
    FACT: Was in the band 25AFFAIR
    FACT: Hates Jesus
    FACT: Was in the band 25AFFAIR
    FACT: Loved the movie "Flicka"

    Furthermore, as if you needed anymore proof. While giving his latest speech at a Patriots rally last week to drum up support for his campaign his speech notes were found on the ground next to the podium, I mean come on people does this SEEM well prepared:



    Sidenote: Icepops rock ass.

    Whereas my running mate Chuck and I have been hard at work laying the framework for a successful campaign and more importantly improving the quality of life here at Billszone.



    America. Damn right.

    My minister of entertainment had this to say....."Its not about quantity, its about quality people....the issues people care about, the issues that make...........STOP! HAMMERTIME!"




    I couldnt agree more Mr. Hammer.

    At the end of the day everyone, this campaign is successful because of you. The voter. Sure I know, the fact that I dont hold the traditional values a person in this position should have may sway some. And no asking a girl to grab her ankles and say "ahhh" is probably not looked favorably upon by some. But really. My personal life I assure you in no way will affect my ability to make the tough decisions and take on the tough issues. Even the handicap.



    Yes indeed my cripple friend, what would jesus do? (and how the hell did you get out of your cage?)

    Lets not even talk credentials, 2x Zoner of the year, 06 Insult tourney champ, rep champ......as decorated zone veteran as they come.

    As you can see folks, its right there in hard print. The BETTER Choice. The RIGHT Choice. Devin in '08.

  3. #43
    Registered User Mski's Avatar
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    Re: Debate: Billszone.com President??

    RIP Tommy D!
    12/25/1978-9/9/2008


    If you make something "Idiot-proof", they'll only make better idiots!

  4. #44
    All-Pro Zoner Confused's Avatar
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    Re: Debate: Billszone.com President??

    My platform will be moderater conservative.

    .Shelf the gay marriage idea once and for all.
    .Pro Choice.
    .Eliminate income tax. Consumption tax works better.

    .Widespread healthcare reform,- particularlly prescription medicines.

    .Mandatory annual road tests for drivers over 65. or no SS check....

    .Across the board ban on the entry of US borders by any canadian named "Brian", "Gordy", or "Edward". eh? Same ban applies to all muslims with the surname "muhhammed".

    .Legalization of marijauna. Full ban on Tobacco.

    .Mexicans can apply for citizenship. those here now are here illeaglly and are subject to deportation. FINE ALL EMPLOYERS 50,000 dollars per violation per employee for violating this.

    .Elimanate special interest groups' roles in how are laws are made and enforced.

    .Dont change a dammed thing about the Patriot Act. If you arent doing anything wrong, what do you have to worry about?

    .Tap the vast municiple labor force we have in our jails and prisons.

    . Speed the proccess of appeals for death row inmates.I'm sick of feeding and housing these scum for 10 years only to let them off on a technicality. The innocent ones we kill will be far outweighed by the bad ones we kill.


    this is just a small taste of the ZONE I'd bring you as president.

    Vote HOOF!! HOOF for change, HOOF for growth!!!!

  5. #45
    Without me it's just Awe so The King's Avatar
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    Re: Debate: Billszone.com President??

    **** Devin had a lot of time.
    I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?"
    "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet.
    You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times."
    It was all
    true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach.
    He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can
    mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.



  6. #46
    I'm not Jewish, I'm just in it for the hats. BlackMetalNinja's Avatar
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    Re: Debate: Billszone.com President??

    Devin FTW!!!!

    Bedard got pwned!

  7. #47
    Registered User kinigirly's Avatar
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    Re: Debate: Billszone.com President??

    i expect this to get more interesting over the next 24 hours with local zoners locked down due to the storm. at least i hope so. entertainment please!

  8. #48
    Without me it's just Awe so The King's Avatar
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    Re: Debate: Billszone.com President??

    Some of you may be familar with the recent attack against my campaign.

    I am not here to slander I am here to present facts.

    God Hates Devin



    Its a sad but true tale. God literally hates Devin. How can you vote for a man even God despises.

    Fact, Hurricane Katrina was not a catastrophy. It was a hit sent out by God to kill Devin.

    Fact, God despises Devin so much he cursed him with a slow metbolism as to prevent Devin from ever seeing his penis.

    Devin has AIDS


    Devin indeed has AIDS

    Fact, Devin is the only person ever to gain weight while having AIDS.

    Fact, Devin recently completed his sequel to the 2 girls 1 cup video. Entitled Pu Pu platter for you.





    If anything I will salute Devin for running it has got him out of the house and on the campaign trail.




    Now I dont need to sit here and blow smoke to you zoners, you know who I am and what I stand for. I brought to you the great chuck norris, I brought to you Bang or Bucks, and dammit I brought you Gina Carano! I am a zone success story from best new poster to zoner of the year! I am the past I am the present and I am the future.

    Vote for a guy who can actually see his balls vote MBB!










  9. #49
    Registered User kinigirly's Avatar
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    Re: Debate: Billszone.com President??

    this is the bedard i miss. i feel like i'm gonna cry.

  10. #50
    Registered User LtFinFan66's Avatar
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    Re: Debate: Billszone.com President??

    I think you need a minority running mate....I nominate myself

  11. #51
    I'm not Jewish, I'm just in it for the hats. BlackMetalNinja's Avatar
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    Re: Debate: Billszone.com President??

    Bald is not a real minority...

  12. #52
    I'm not Jewish, I'm just in it for the hats. BlackMetalNinja's Avatar
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    Re: Debate: Billszone.com President??

    Ninjas make the ultimate running mates... my services are available for hire:


  13. #53
    Well, lookie here... YardRat's Avatar
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    Re: Debate: Billszone.com President??

    This is too much like the real election...Is anybody worthwhile ever going to run?
    YardRat Wall of Fame
    #56 DARRYL TALLEY
    #29 DERRICK BURROUGHS#22 FRED JACKSON #95 KYLE WILLIAMS

  14. #54
    The Octagon Devin's Avatar
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    Re: Debate: Billszone.com President??

    What a shameless attack, I mean really a copy and recycle of my first shameless attack.....well thats just.....mighty white of you.

    If anything young bedard proves my point. God sent the biggest baddest hurricane the coast has ever seen to my doorstep. I laughed at it. Matter fact I didnt just laugh at it, I let it know next time it or any other force of nature needed to speak with me it had better be for god-damn sure I wasnt in the middle of nunchuck practice.

    If the largest force of nature ever witnessed tucks tail and runs well I dont need to point out what that says about my brain damaged opponents chances. Below you will find the actual doplar radar image of that fateful night. True story.




    And lets not get onto physical appearances. My opponent looks like hes just starred in an episode of "Intervention" for crying out loud. Nice nose btw, in the event anyone needs to know what something smells like 4,000 miles away hes got you covered. Literally.



    I think that really says it all people. I mean your OWN pee? Well thats just gross.

    At this point my friends choosing between mongo and I is like choosing between a t-bone steak and a corndog thats been dropped in a urinal.



    Pictured: Jules, a friend, an orange vest
    Not Pictured: Self Respect, Heterosexual Male

    You want the champ. The original. MBB is reading the book I wrote. Following in my footsteps, well except I dont weight 90 pounds and only have 1 ball, but whatever.

    Best new zoner? Please. Thats only slightly more prestigious than a best handwriting sticker.

  15. #55
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    Re: Come On Zone!?

    Quote Originally Posted by MBBedard
    If I get elected I will post each and every thought in my head, all 4 of them, on a daily basis.
    How is that any different?

  16. #56
    Without me it's just Awe so The King's Avatar
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    Re: Debate: Billszone.com President??

    .


  17. #57
    Registered User kinigirly's Avatar
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    Re: Debate: Billszone.com President??

    WOW. the bedard campain has really been stepping it up. i'm defnitely swayed towards borat right now.

  18. #58
    I'm not Jewish, I'm just in it for the hats. BlackMetalNinja's Avatar
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    Re: Debate: Billszone.com President??

    Holy ****... this is top notch stuff right here... I nominate this thread for instant HOF status once it runs it's course.

    Oh, and my services are still available as a running mate:


  19. #59
    I told the pet store guy "How else am I supposed to get the mouse out of my ass?" The last buffalo fan's Avatar
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    Re: Debate: Billszone.com President??

    Thurm for president!!!
    The Mexican & too!!

    - Adriano & Emiliano, the next Villa & Zapata. Viva Mexico, cabrones!!! -

  20. #60
    Registered User LtFinFan66's Avatar
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    Re: Debate: Billszone.com President??

    Quote Originally Posted by The last buffalo fan
    Thurm for president!!!
    Boo

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