So Big Doug, huh? Exactly why did you choose to call yourself Big Doug? How big are you anyway? They have policitically correct terms for people with appearance issues, such as “plus size” for the fat, “vertically challenged” for the short, and “thinning hair” for the bald. But since in your case you fit the terms for all of the above, they made a new term just for you: “Brunswick bowling ball.” Not that there’s anything wrong with it.
Publix over Tops and wegmans? No way. I'd even prefer Albertson's over Publix.
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