View Poll Results: Vote===>MissBuffalo vs Earthquake Enyart

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  • Earthquake Enyart

    5 22.73%
  • MissBuffalo

    17 77.27%
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Thread: FINAL: Round 1: MissBuffalo defeats Earthquake Enyart 17-5

  1. #1
    in charge of you
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    Round 1: Earthquake Enyart vs. MissBuffalo

    Round 1: Earthquake Enyart vs. MissBuffalo

    Round 1 will be freestyle. Do whatever the heck you want. Just make sure it's funny and insulting.

    Each contestant will take turns insulting each other. This round will consist of 6 turns apiece.

    Earthquake Enyart will go first.






    <a href="http://www.buzzdash.com/index.php?page=buzzbite&amp;BB_id=119588">Do you like me?</a> | <a href="http://www.buzzdash.com">BuzzDash polls</a>


  2. #2
    Legendary Zoner Earthquake Enyart's Avatar
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    I can't believe I'm paired up against the lovely MissB. But I know she will be ready to strap it up and go for it.

    The one good thing about playing goal in field hockey is that you have no fear of getting dirty diving for the loose balls. You have plenty of volunteers ready to "wash" your backside in the shower afterwards.
    Attached Images Attached Images

  3. #3
    Quiddity MissBuffalo's Avatar
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    Well, well, well!!! This should be interesting.

    I knew you'd know all about washed backsides, ever since your kids put you in Wild Achres Nursing home. I know it's hard to wash yourself honey, old age does that to a person. And poor EE has a tough time standing in the shower and the Nursing Home Attendents have no idea how to help this ancient, decrepited man. I've got just the product to help them out:

    The Adjustable Shower Seat with Removable Back (you know, for the backside)



    Extra large 25(1/4)"W x 20"D seat adjusts from 18(1/2)" to 23(1/2)"H and is ideal for anyone requiring a larger seating area. Leg levelers ensure custom, firm fit with tub or shower floor without wobble. Built-in drainage holes, hand-held shower holder and convenient carry handles. Assembles and disassembles quickly without tools for easy transport and storage. Sturdy, monoblock construction has no metal parts to corrode.
    See me here pushing you
    If I then deny I do
    Contemplate or wish away
    If I ask you not to stay

  4. #4
    Legendary Zoner Earthquake Enyart's Avatar
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    Let me get this straight......

    You live with a guy and decide to move, he not only doesn't try to convince you to stay, but he won't help you move either. Basically, don't let the door hit your ghetto booty on the way out.

    You use your journalism degree to work in a mail room. Gee, the matchbook cover lied about the worth of their degrees. You should have drawn the parrot instead.

    You try to get a job in law enforcement even though you have as much chance of passing a urine test as Darryl Strawberry.

    I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.

  5. #5
    Quiddity MissBuffalo's Avatar
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    Finally you get one thing straight and it isn't your sexuality. I know patroling mens bathrooms at the local park is your idea of an exciting weekend, but I heard paint chips may contain lead and your ass checks are more speckled than the glitter room walls. Besides, your pick up line "May I push in your stool?" would probably work better in a bar Miss Fluffquake Buttart.

    Fluffquake's 5 reasons to be Gay:

    1. Because being called a "cheap slut" isn't an insult.
    2. Because love handles are actually used as such.
    3. He knows where to find a meat rack and it isn't in his kitchen drawer.
    4. After a workout at the gym, you feel like a new man. And he's right there in the shower.
    5. When someone turns his back on you, you actually consider it an opportunity.

  6. #6
    Legendary Zoner Earthquake Enyart's Avatar
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    Wow. That was weak. I would have thought someone who has spent so much time amonst the rug munchers would have better stuff than that.

    Oh well. You are one lucky girl all right. Goodwill had glasses with your perscription. Your flair for fashion could be classified as Cheektowaga garage sale. Good thing young boys out grow their clothes so fast.

  7. #7
    Quiddity MissBuffalo's Avatar
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    LOL--At least a woman would let me munch her rug. Oh I know it's a tough thing to deal with and all, when I'm able to attract a beautiful woman and you, a man, is left digging for scraps. I can see why you've been uneasy lately. Rhonda, the toothless, flab encrusted prostitute hasn't been returning your calls. Maybe it's because that feces stained cardboard box you laid down behind the dumpster just isn't her cup of tea anymore.

  8. #8
    Legendary Zoner Earthquake Enyart's Avatar
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    Must be 420 there. That was about as coherent as a BOA post.

    Since you can't write, let's do some math (maybe you missed your calling)...

    field hockey + San Francisco + "roommate" + driving across country with another "lady" = what?

    What's this:

    A lesbian with a hardon.

  9. #9
    Quiddity MissBuffalo's Avatar
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    That's all?? I guess you really are Fluffquake. But hey, at least I can still get it up at will. Fantasizing about me and another woman will not help your impotency, nor will the pornographic pictures of teenage girls you have on your hardrive. I could suggest Viagra, or the generic form Mycoxaflopin, but I'm afriad that your little toothpick might explode. Look on the bright side though, the end is almost near for you, so the impotency shouldn't last too much longer.

  10. #10
    Legendary Zoner Earthquake Enyart's Avatar
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    I can't believe I waited for that. And you call yourself a moderator.

    The purple haze is taking it's toll on you, hun. No job, no man, no rug muncher, the "magic wand" and the killer weed is a horribly depressing combination. Got any glue? Paint thinner?

    Maybe you should start gambling. That's about the only vice left.

    Look at the bright side, you can always get a job at Wegman's. They let any loser work there. Just like the zone.

  11. #11
    Quiddity MissBuffalo's Avatar
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    I know it hurts you that I don't have a job, having been unemployed yourself for over 20 years. I know you sold pencils out in front of the local mall, but I don't think that counts. The difference between us though is that I do have an education. Not being able to pass the 5th grade is where your problem lies.

    And since I feel bad that you're so dumb, I've decided to help you with those confusing computer words you were having such a hard time with. I know you have trouble reading, so maybe the nursing home attendent can help you out:

    A Hacker is not your Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking. It's someone who illegally tampers with info. in a computer system.

    Byte is not what your pitbull done to cousin Jethro. It's a group of eight binary digits processed as a unit by a computer.

    Megahertz is not how your head feels after 17 beers. It's a unit of frequency equal to one million hertz.

    Modem is not what you do when the grass gets too high. It's a device that converts signals produced by one type of device to a form compatible with another.

    And finally, my favorite Fluffquake computer term mistake:
    The Internet is not where cafeteria workers put their hair. It's an electronic communications network that connects computer networks and organizational computer facilities around the world.

    And while your at it, get the attendent to change that smelly, soiled depends diaper you're wearing. The fowl stench is really ruining what you have left of a brain.

  12. #12
    Legendary Zoner Earthquake Enyart's Avatar
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    Wow, Pat teach you how to cut and paste?

    Well, I have forgotten to congratulate you on your highest achievement in life to date, your promotion to Super Moderator. You have entered the hallowed halls that house several other noted geeks and nerds:

    A guy who throws a football like a girl, showed up by a 9 year old. You can look forward to insightful feedback on your work, just like that he gave Eb….

    “I heard all those jokes last year. You forgot to remind me to kill myself.

    Since you brought up the subject of contribution to the site, let's discuss you. There isn't much positive to discuss, so let's go straight to all the things you suck at.

    1. Up my flagpole: Quite simply, no one cares. It would be one thing if you were famous or at least if people knew who the crap you were. Then your opinion might mean something. No one cares that you're angry. No one cares what bugs you. All anyone cares is that you shut your hole.

    2. Outside the Zone: Yet another column you started and quit. You keep saying how terrible everything is in Western NY. Well, Eb, it's because of people like you who start something and never finish it. It's because of people like you who complain, whine, and moan instead of getting off their rear end and actually make a difference. And no one cares about curling on a Bills Site. I shudder at the thought that we actually published that piece of crap. A BrianH and BillsOwnAll point-counterpoint article would be easier to read and comprehend.

    3. You're a terrible mod. Hey Eb, instead of whining to the rest of the mods about how this person and that person are terrible, and how this and that broke the TOS, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. You're about as effective now as you would be if you didn't own a computer. Thank God for Rent-A-Center, eh?”


    A guy who brings a briefcase to the draft party, who can knock your sorry ass out with one or two punches (depending on his mood).

    A guy selling wing sauce out of his basement in a place they don’t eat wings. “The stats don’t lie.”

    A crybaby in every game he plays, wondering out loud why he can’t get a job even though he weighs 600 pounds.

    A gap tooth slack jaw military “tomboy” whose only function I can tell is to “Welcome so and so”

    A fat pansy who reports from his bed: “His long punts went high and far”

    A guy who says he’s in Alaska, but is really from North Tonawanda

    And a dog assed wise guy who says he gave up beer. “I have a box of Merlotr (sic), A box of Chardonay (sic), and a sangria in the fridge...LOL I'm getting trashed and healthy at the same time...


    I bet Mama is busting with pride. I’ll tell her next time I see her on the refrigerator box.

    Good luck. I’d say let the best man win, but that would give you an unfair advantage.

  13. #13
    Quiddity MissBuffalo's Avatar
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    Oh Fluffquake! I'd say that I'm disappointed in you after that last post, but that just seems to be the story of your life. One let down after another. Apparently you forgot (that dementia must be kicking in) the rules of the contest. Bashing my fellow moderators won't help you out in this one buddy. I have a feeling your a little jealous of what they've achieved in their lives. Let's take a closer look:

    The guy and his briefcase--I know your major beef is not with the guy, but with his briefcase. The only "briefcase" you've ever had is of gonorrhea.

    The guy selling wing sauce--Fluffquake has always wanted to start his own business. Too bad his idea of selling the recipe for ice cubes failed. You can always go back to selling pencils, right?

    The crybaby--I know being emotionally inept is a problem for you Fluff, having been disgraced by the words of your parents for so many years, but maybe one day you'll overcome the "we wish we never had yous" and the "stop acting like a little sissys."

    Gap tooth slack jawed military girl--It still bothers you, doesn't it?? The fact that the military saw you as too week and feeble to inlist. And just because toothless Rhonda didn't want to be your 50 second pounding pole doesn't mean you should disgrace a proud member of our military by comparing her to the love of your life.

    Fat pansy who reports from his bed--Well, at least he can get some action in that bed. The last time you saw any action was right before the hand arthritis set in.

    Guy in Alaska--Just because the farthest you've ever been from the nursing home is the local Piggly Wiggly, that shouldn't give you the right to mock someone with a sense of adventure. Try BINGO night next time, maybe that will give ya a boost.

    Dog assed wise guy whose losing weight--I know how much you love big asses and I'm sorry that with his recent weight reduction you won't be able to get that mental picture to fantasize about anymore. It must be hard for you to deal with that obsession, but hey, at least something is hard for once.

    And I'll say good luck also!!! You are right, I do have the unfair advantage: being more of a man as a woman than you'll ever be!

  14. #14
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    Polls are open for voting! Voting will close at 9 AM tomorrow


    Great job, EE! Alienate the voters!

  15. #15
    Lecter's Little Bitch
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    I know how I'm gonna vote. No freaking contest.

  16. #16
    ArcticWildMan
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    I'm disappointed in you EE. Your kinder, gentler side is so not you.

  17. #17
    Registered User Gazoo's Avatar
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    Ladies first, using that logic though, it'd be a draw, so I'm going with Miss Buffalo!

  18. #18
    Expert on Experts SoCalBillsFan's Avatar
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    I abstain.

  19. #19
    Legendary Zoner Earthquake Enyart's Avatar
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    I'm much better at improv than I am at standup.

    What a crappy draw. I would have loved to tear in to some of the rest of you losers.

  20. #20
    81 st zoner mybills's Avatar
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    I am SHOCKED at EE for sprouting angel wings, and I had no idea that Miss B's pitch fork was bigger than mine!

    Way to go, girl!!! You got my vote!
    I didn't come here to fight, I hate fighting. Life is way too short to spend it on fighting! Go fight with yourself, one of you will eventually win!

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