FINAL: Round 1: gunzlingr defeats Typ0 18-8

[lordofgun]

Round 1: Typ0 vs. gunzlingr

Round 1 will be freestyle. Do whatever the heck you want. Just make sure it's funny and insulting.

Each contestant will take turns insulting each other. This round will consist of 6 turns apiece.

gunzlingr will go first.

[Gunzlingr]

I aways new there was something weird about you!

I was browsing the photo archives at another site, and stumbled across this gem!

[Typ0]

Gunzlinger is a dedicated cowboy for sure. I was lucky enough to get a good shot from his graduation party where he was showing off his new skills and his affliction for Bull!

[Gunzlingr]

That is the best you do? Wow! Did you just pull that out of your ass or what? Christ you could have at least put some effort into it. I have read more thought provoking and intelligent posts from Fin Mama and echo_bravo.

I know it is hard to concentrate on this competition when you are busy stalking chicks from pictures on the internet, but you should put the twinkies down, turn off the gay porn, and take some Riddelin before you post again.

This is turning out to be way too easy!

[Typ0]

Here's Hannity Handle...




She just was never the same after Gunzlinger passed her by in favor of that bull.

[Gunzlingr]

That was as more lame than a one legged man with a peg leg.
No wonder your team voted your sorry ass off of survivor, you can't even come up a good insult.

Nothing says sad, like a grown man who lives in his mommy's basement only to surface when he needs more Cheetos, or wants to have sex with the neighbor's dog. That is why I feel for you Typ-ho. I have my gorgeous wife and beautiful kids, and all you have is Chester Cheetah, your mom's wide ass, and Sadie your Bassett hound (I hear that some states don't have anti-beastiality laws, so maybe someday you will be able to be free to "love" animals openly). Well, I should end this now, before the depression it is leaving you drives you either to insanity or suicide.

[Typ0]

You know what Gunz? I was going to spend a lot more time on this than I need to. Simple minds think in simple terms I guess. If all you have is schoolboy mother attacks and gay bashing there really is no need to put forth sophisticated efforts to thwart your limited attempts at insult. Sure I could attack your fat mother and your "beautiful" wife or your wannabe affliction for Clint Eastwood but I am not going to do that. I'm going to teach you a lesson in civility and compassion something you oh so clearly haven't been able to grasp living in a spaghetti western. With a little work perhaps you can move up to someone that can actually make an impression instead of someone that is just impressionable.

[Gunzlingr]

*sniff, sniff* I guess you showed me.... NOT!!

I thought this was an insult contest, not a "boo hoo, Gunz insulted me, I am going home" cry fest. I have seen little girls put up a better fight. I guess they should have let you quit when you saw the brackets with me as your opponent.

Well take your tutu wearing ass somewhere else if you expect sympathy from me. I don't care if you are Dukes of Hazzard junkie, you will get no mercy from the almight gunzlingr.

[Typ0]

Yes your truly simplistic nature is exposed by interpretation of a mature approach and insult as a boo hoo. Reload those cap guns and ride that jungle gym chap I understand it's all you have to cling too. Sympathy I do not expect as sympathy would take compassion and compassion is not commonly found on the playground.

[Gunzlingr]

Did your mommy tell you to say that, after you went crying to her over my last post?

Yes, your truly pathetic nature is exposed by your taking of the proverbial "high road",when in fact it is really exposing you for what you really are- a big damn crybaby with no imagination who uses is supposed superiority to weasel out of jams because he lacks the intestinal fortitude to stand up and fight. So I suggest you put down the crackpipe, climb off the neighbors dog, and curl up in your mommy's apron.

[Typ0]

listen you yellow bellied vomit chugging dirty low down clown. You know those guns are over compensation for that other little gun of yours. It's no wonder your wife saw fit to buy sperm from a drugged out crack whores used condom supply instead of having your kids just so you could collect a better welfare check and foodstamps. It's pretty humiliating her asking you to strap something on just so she can get some feeling out of it. And walking around with an oversized chia pet on your head is even worse isn't it? If you would take a shower once and a while you wouldn't have to have her water it for you every day. But I understand how fast the water bill increases in the trailor park. It was a brilliant idea to sell tickets to your wife washing your clothes on a washboard to the tune of the star spangled banner. The no teeth hicks really enjoy those dirty wet TShirts and pimping her out for a nickle helps to keep the fridge filled with keystone.

[Gunzlingr]

That is more like tubby! I imagine that after my post you went up to mommy and cried "mean ol' gunzlingr is making fun of me for screwing the neighbors pooch and wacking off to 'the bachelor'". Mommy probably looked up and said "son, cant you see I am blowing the mailman? After I get done with him, the milkman, the homeless guy from under the bridge, the UPS man, and the Atlanta Braves all have a turn with me, then we can talk about your little problem"

All in a huff, you did a quick google search, and the best you could come up with is the crack whore story (based on your mom's diary) and the chia pet story (based on the one you have up your ass). Quite unoriginal, but somewhat humorous.

I imagine you feelings of inadequacy date back to last week when you let the clowns at the circus have there way with you. I bet you felt pretty rejected when they packed up and left town, while all you had to remember them by was a sore ass and lock jaw. Or maybe it was the time, you sold yourself to that "donkey" show in Tijuana. Whatever the reason, it will soon be over like a Miami Dolphins playoff run. Soon you shall have peace little Typ0, a peace that can only come from sitting out the next round after getting a total beating at the hands of a lowly "clint eastwood wannabe", it is only then that you can retreat to the dark recesses of your mommy's basement and continue you decent into a gay porn induced madness, while wearing your size Jabba XL chewbacca underoos. Adieu!

[Typ0]

Gunz it took me about 15 minutes of playing your game to defeat you and another 15 to develop my own agenda. The only thing I regret is not spending a little more time playing your game to see you waste more time proving how much of a dork you are. I see how fired up you got over that one little paragraph I put up. I bet you get excited when a bug lands on your wee wee you measly mangly little twirp. You come here and hide behind your Eastwood avatar well let me tell you something I know Clint Eastwood and you are no Clint Eastwood. You weigh what 60lbs if you stop shaking and pissing your pants? You sure don't have much going for you but two things you certainly should be thankfull for are sex toys and adoption agencies so your wife can have some pleasure and get some kids. I think you better get a dog since "little Gunz" keeps breaking the lock on the trailor door. One of these days the neighbors are going to storm in and take your keystones if you aren't carefull.

[Gunzlingr]

LOL, Good game Typ0!

[lordofgun]

Good job, guys!

Voting ends tonight at 10pm eastern.