Originally Posted by
LifetimeBillsFan
I get the analogy and, believe me, when it comes to the Bills, I understand the feeling. But, in keeping with your analogy, let me say something that is probably going to get me negged and in a whole lot of trouble with a lot of folks here:
Seeing that chick who is now your wife and all of her faults and shortcomings isn't hard to do. But, as you think about that, have you ever taken such a good hard look at yourself?
The big shoulders of that athlete that the cheerleader found so attractive are now sitting on your waistline and that beer-filled belly is so big that you can even see your feet, let alone what's between your legs, when you look down in the shower. That full head of hair that you once had is streaked with grey and thinning so fast that when you comb it a handful ends up stuck to the comb. Worse yet, some of it has also started to migrate from your temples to your ears and nose. Those penetrating eyes that she used to lose herself in so dreamily are now blood-shot and crowned by eyebrows that are so long and bushy that they look like ivy vines growing up towards your forehead and get stuck in your eyelashes whenever you have to squint. And, you have to squint quite often now because, while you won't admit it, you can't see as well as you used to. But, you belch and fart a lot more that you did back when you were slender and muscular. Especially when you are stretched out on the sofa sucking down a beer as you watch yet another sports program or when you climb into bed next to her at night.
Yeah, she just can't wait to smell your beer-breath and feel all of that weight of yours slamming down on top of her when you are drunk enough to want to have sex with her, but sober enough that the equipment works properly, even of it isn't as long or hard as it used to get. And she loves the whining and begging that you do to get her slide her face down over the forest of hair on your chest and the mound of flubber below it until it is squeezed between the flabby sequoias that pass for your legs. She may love you enough to put up with it once in awhile, but it is hardly a mystery why she would rather do a line of coke in the ladies room of a bar with some handsome, younger stranger who has been showering her with compliments and flattery all night.
She's certainly not a winner or what you thought that she would be when you married her, but neither are you. You were going to take that college degree and all of that energy that you had and become the CEO of the company that hired you after you graduated. When you lost that job, you took all of the money that you had saved and started your own company, but your timing was bad and the economy slumped and you had to close up the business. So, instead of being a "stay-at-home-mom", she had to take that job at Wal-Mart to help make ends meet while you drifted from job to job until you landed that middle-level managerial position that you have where the pay doesn't come close to matching the title that they gave you when you were hired. So, instead of wearing glamorous dresses to lavish cocktail parties or going out to eat at the best restaurants and romantically dancing with you in the most chic nightclubs, she has to be satisfied with eating casarolles that she throws together with hamburger meat at home and, if she is lucky, maybe going out to Dave 'n Busters with you once or twice a month where you will pay more attention to the game that's on the television or the other amusements than you will to her.
You know, it's a two-way street that you are on. And, sadly, there are a lot of reasons why she might be doing that coke and find those other guys who are flattering her and trying to seduce her more attractive than being with you. She may love you as much as you love her and be willing to stay with you if you made the effort to clean yourself up and fulfill even half of the promise that you had when she met you. If you'd stop whining about how she has or will do you wrong and at least try to get your act together be more presentable, she just might find you attractive enough again to want to stay with you--and even make love to you more often.
But, you can't just keep sitting there moaning, "Woe is me!", like you have for the last 35 years, letting yourself go to pot and doing nothing to make yourself the least bit more attractive, and expect her to fall all over you in mad passionate love.
You can blame her all you want for being the way she is, but it's not her fault that you have become what you are. And, however bad she may be, it's no wonder that she is finding that there are others out there who are a lot more attractive and a lot more willing to keep themselves that way than you are.
There is only one answer to the problem with this relationship: if you want to keep this relationship--or make yourself attractive enough to find another partner to replace her if she should leave you--it is YOU that have to stop whining and get off your butt and start doing whatever you can do to make yourself more presentable and attractive to the kind of woman that you want to have. And, there are things that you can start to do NOW that will have an immediate effect in moving you in that direction.