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Thread: Morning Dumps

  1. #61
    RABBI Haile SpikedLemonade's Avatar
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    Re: Morning Dumps

    Quote Originally Posted by rbochan View Post
    Had the last of the home made sauerkraut last night.
    I'll be within reach of the bathroom all day today.
    Did it go bad?

  2. #62
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    Re: Morning Dumps

    I posted this in the wrong thread....

    Just took a 3 lb. monster dump.

    Blueberries are fun but they are not kind to your anus.

    Had to wipe my ass 8 times again.

    Thankfully, I habitually incorporate the Caribbean two flush system so after that monster rattled the pipes, I successfully got all that toilet paper to the curb.

    ****in' blueberries!

    Marde!

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    Blondie (07-16-2016)

  4. #63
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    Re: Morning Dumps

    Quote Originally Posted by MST3KBillsfan View Post
    No **** this morning, but am having a pizza today for lunch so probably there will be some flatulence and stomach discomfort tonight followed by some diarrhea and runny stool tomorrow.
    Well, the **** storm came in early. Seriously starting about 3:30 central standard time until about 5:30 I had to run to the restroom seven times. It started as flatulence and then there was basically shotgun ****. Yes, shotgun ****. You know it has that force of a loud fart but its fully loaded and coats the bottom of the toilet bowl, btw what was the weather like up in Michigan?

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  6. #64
    RABBI Haile SpikedLemonade's Avatar
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    Re: Morning Dumps

    Quote Originally Posted by MST3KBillsfan View Post
    Well, the **** storm came in early. Seriously starting about 3:30 central standard time until about 5:30 I had to run to the restroom seven times. It started as flatulence and then there was basically shotgun ****. Yes, shotgun ****. You know it has that force of a loud fart but its fully loaded and coats the bottom of the toilet bowl, btw what was the weather like up in Michigan?
    https://www.theweathernetwork.com/us...n/grand-rapids

  7. #65
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    Re: Morning Dumps

    Tomorrow its taco and beer ****s. Solid content, but smells from the infernal region. People at Mass will be getting time off of purgatory

  8. #66
    Well, lookie here... YardRat's Avatar
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    Re: Morning Dumps

    The best thing about this thread, considering poop humor is widely considered part of the male domain and yet Blondie started it, is that we finally have written proof that her dick is bigger than coastal's.
    YardRat Wall of Fame
    #56 DARRYL TALLEY
    #29 DERRICK BURROUGHS#22 FRED JACKSON #95 KYLE WILLIAMS

  9. #67
    Legendary Zoner coastal's Avatar
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    Re: Morning Dumps

    Stomach ache this morning.

    the bowl isn't going to be pretty

  10. #68
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    Re: Morning Dumps

    So a prostitute (feel free to substitute massage therapist, but only if licensed), a barbecue (so named because he likes having meat slapped on his grill), and a cheap Canuck go into a bar in Tampa....Stop me if you've heard this one before...

  11. #69
    RABBI Haile SpikedLemonade's Avatar
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    Re: Morning Dumps

    Quote Originally Posted by MST3KBillsfan View Post
    Tomorrow its taco and beer ****s. Solid content, but smells from the infernal region. People at Mass will be getting time off of purgatory
    Brilliant!

    I actually changed religion simply because I cannot in all good conscience sit on a wooden oak pew today because of the amount of homemade wine and 2015 Black Label Villa Canlungo Corno Rosazzo Pinot Grigio (from Friuli) I drank yesterday at the Boccie Club [I played lights out again]. The food was good -- porcetta sandwiches, salad, homemade pizza, etc. I am going to dim sum right now downtown.

    P.S.: I am now Jewish.

    P.P.S.: WTF happened to Limbo? I was taught there was a Heaven, Hell, Purgatory and Limbo. Limbo would be a very handy place to put us farters right now...

    Last edited by Haile SpikedLemonade; 07-17-2016 at 09:18 AM.

  12. #70
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    Re: Morning Dumps

    Quote Originally Posted by YardRat View Post
    The best thing about this thread, considering poop humor is widely considered part of the male domain and yet Blondie started it, is that we finally have written proof that her dick is bigger than coastal's.
    Anyone's dick is bigger than Coastal's.

    What is your point?

    Do you want me to retain the tape measure guys for a 2nd job?


  13. #71
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    Re: Morning Dumps

    Quote Originally Posted by coastal View Post
    Stomach ache this morning.

    the bowl isn't going to be pretty
    I weighed my crap this morning -- 5.7 lbs without toilet paper.

    Is that normal or in this new world is anything really normal?

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  15. #72
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    Re: Morning Dumps

    Quote Originally Posted by YardRat View Post
    So a prostitute (feel free to substitute massage therapist, but only if licensed), a barbecue (so named because he likes having meat slapped on his grill), and a cheap Canuck go into a bar in Tampa....Stop me if you've heard this one before...

    We never went into any bars in Tampa Bay.

    Clearwater Bait Shack-- YES

    Big Storm Brewing Co. in Dunedin -- YES

    I did have 3 craft beers at the Tampa Bay Airport but Coastal abd Blondie were NOT there.

    If you choose to take a shot at me, please do not insult me with your poor factual research.

  16. #73
    Legendary Zoner coastal's Avatar
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    Re: Morning Dumps

    Yardie is one of those faux intelligence posters... like meathead and aienjherer (sp?)

    they can can talk a good game but the reality is they're middle of the bell curve guys.

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    Haile SpikedLemonade (07-18-2016)

  18. #74
    Dumber than the average blonde :-) Blondie's Avatar
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    Re: Morning Dumps

    Quote Originally Posted by YardRat View Post
    So a prostitute (feel free to substitute massage therapist, but only if licensed), a barbecue (so named because he likes having meat slapped on his grill), and a cheap Canuck go into a bar in Tampa....Stop me if you've heard this one before...
    You are lucky I have a good sense of humor, if not I would take this opportunity to **** on you.
    My Mistake ~~ Sparty

  19. #75
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    Re: Morning Dumps

    Quote Originally Posted by Blondie View Post
    You are lucky I have a good sense of humor, if not I would take this opportunity to **** on you.
    It's afternoon now, so you'll have to wait until tomorrow morning.

  20. #76
    Dumber than the average blonde :-) Blondie's Avatar
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    Re: Morning Dumps

    Quote Originally Posted by YardRat View Post
    It's afternoon now, so you'll have to wait until tomorrow morning.
    I will use my subset poop pill to help speed up the process, and then smear the softer poop on your face

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    YardRat (07-17-2016)

  22. #77
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    Re: Morning Dumps

    Quote Originally Posted by Blondie View Post
    I will use my subset poop pill to help speed up the process, and then smear the softer poop on your face
    Poop porn is another subset of porn, you know.

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    Blondie (07-18-2016)

  24. #78
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    Re: Morning Dumps

    Was at a music festival yesterday afternoon after a huge dim sum meal and well into many many craft draft beers.

    I had to use the park's washroom facilities and of course, 5 of the 6 bathroom stalls were a friggin' disaster. The scenes that nightmares are made up of.

    After choosing the lessor of the evils and settle down to the task at hand by using half a roll of toilet paper to "clean up" the runway for arrival.

    Completely put a hurting on the toilet with a 4.8 lb jumbo jet of a crap.

    If poops were snakes, I am unsure whether that crap would have been named a Bowel Constrictor or a Pipe Rattler.

    8 full wipes to cleanliness (damn blueberries!) and back to Lucy and the music festival walking with a noticeable limp.
    Last edited by Haile SpikedLemonade; 07-18-2016 at 06:03 AM.

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    coastal (07-18-2016)

  26. #79
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    Re: Morning Dumps

    8:30 AM EST and I am already two sheets to the wind.

    The first sheet is already a classic. I took it in the small downstairs bathroom that I like to call "The Torture Chamber". It is a 4 foot y 4 foot reinforced concrete bathroom that does have a fan to the outside world. The smell I produced with this sheet is toxic to most human beings and small animals. 4.3 lbs of pure stink due to the craft beer, jerk chicken and Indian food.

    The second sheet was just before I showered -- timing is everything -- in the spacious upstairs bathroom (15 by 20 ft) with the window wide open. Equally toxic butt the smell dissipates quicker. 3.9 lbs.

  27. #80
    Legendary Zoner coastal's Avatar
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    Re: Morning Dumps

    Yesterday wasn't pretty... 3-4 rounds of fire hose out my ass.

    ate Greek yogurt with Tupelo honey all day.

    Nothing this morning.

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    Haile SpikedLemonade (07-18-2016)

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