8:30 AM -- Southampton at Manchester City (EPL)
9:00 AM -- internet porn
9:30 AM -- NY Giants v LA Rams in UK
10:00 AM -- more internet porn
11:00 AM -- Manchester United @ Chelsea (EPL)
12:00 noon -- back to internet porn
1:00 PM -- Bills @ Fish
2:20 PM -- halftime internet porn
3:00 PM -- Formula One Racing: US Grand Prix
4:00 PM -- Chicago Fire @ Toronto FC (MLS)
4:15 PM -- Chargers @ Falcons or Patriots @ Steelers
7:00 PM -- back to internet porn
8:30 PM -- Seahawks @ Cardinals
REMOTE IN ONE HAND AND BEVERAGE IN THE OTHER